Why?

[whydoithinkifeelthis]

I like him, we have fun together, we are our own people I'm ok being me but for fucks sake I want him and it's confusing?
I don't want tobe Ina real relationship with him but I don't want to not be in a relationship with him either? So confusing?

Any one?

I think you do want him

Friends with benefits? They can get a bit addictive. How does he feel?

I think you want more from him, but he doesn't want it from you, so you're trying to persuade yourself (unsuccessfully) that you don't want more from him.

Break it off - healthy relationships just aren't like this.

You both need to be on the same page, though.
It's not really fair saying you don't want a relationship but you don't want to not be in a relationship either unless that's what he wants too

Not friends with benefits thou, had the exclusive talk last weekend, I feel more for him than I want to arrh

He was the one that wanted the exclusivity thou and he contacts me, I'm being Atwater aren't I?

No it's it fair but we don't present as a couple as that's not our rep

Why don't you have a period of no contact with him while you unravel your brain a bit?

I feel sorry for him, because you're fucking him about really.
You should just feel what you feel.
What's with the drama of "more than I want I want to feel"?
If you can't just go with your feelings, seek a good therapist and don't drag anyone else into it until you've sorted yourself out.

Coz he wants not to feel either, we are both being untrue to each other but let our guard down together at times. It's hard I like him, I think he likes me but we won't tell Esther other coz that's commitment we "won't do"

Either go for the relationship or break it off completely. Not fair on him to string him along. If you don't want to be in a relationship, let him go so he can find a partner who does.

Why the drama? I don't mean that disrespectfully, just don't know your back story. Can't you just let it evolve without thinking too deeply?

But we want it but not to be labelled as it. It might just be my wine addled brain reading too much into it, but I shouldn't care but I do when he contacts me

So, why do you not want to be in a relationship?

Oh for fuck's sake.
Are you drunk right now, or 13?
We don't do commitment?
You sound ridiculous and childish.
I know that's blunt and harsh - but you do - and I suspect you both think you're terribly angst-ridden-cool.
You're not Morrissey.
Get on with a proper relationship - you're the only one bothering about labels - or back right out of it and into a therapist's office.
Too. Much. Teenage. Angst. Drama.

Because it means commitment etc xx

What's wrong with commitment?

Yep I'm prob full of 'teenage angst' it's new to me and o can see it's not ' adult' in your mind but I'm having these thoughts so listen or not

Commitment means not being selfish xx

You're not Morrissey
Beautifully put, yes you're wine addled op.

Just enjoy the sex and attention or let this one go. It's really very simple.

Maybe you've come out of a long relationship and don't feel ready for another?

It's bad enough when one person isn't in a place to calmly conduct an adult relationship.

But you say "we" don't want labels, "we" don't do commitment.

When both parties are able to maintain an emotionally healthy relationship, it's just a car crash.

Either you're both messed up and will make each other worse, or only you are and you're projecting it to him (bad) or he's getting kicks from being all angst too (bad).

Put the wine down. Get a good night's sleep. Cool it with this man until you know what you want, and until you can handle the perfectly normal idea of commitment without getting all upset about "labels".

If you have been fucked about in the past, take time to heal yourself - and stay out of a sort-of relationship which is just going to fuck your head over.

Oh I think we are both ducked up by the previous and I should just let go Nikita he is intoxicating xx

You have the option to take responsibility for your own emotional health. If you have had a damage relationship previously, what have you done about its after effects?

The Freedom Programme?
Reading books?
Counselling?
Staying away from high drama 'relationships' until you've straightened your head out alone or with support?

No point in getting drunk and wailing about him being intoxicating.

See that word? in TOXIC ating.
The spelling isn't an accident.

"We don't present as a couple because that's not our rep".

You've had the "exclusive talk". So you are a couple really, albeit a very new and tentative couple.

Just chill. You don't have to do all this analysing and agonising and posing. You aren't uniquely star crossed lovers, you're just dating like thousands or millions of other couples. It may last, it may not, enjoy each other and see where it goes.