Am I being stupid?

[Grooves]

Last weekend my partner got incredibly drunk pretty much all weekend! I was really upset about it as he's a big drinker anyway and his driving can get out of hand. (Drink all day and the day after)

He was all sorry on the Monday, came to mine super poorly and in a bad way! Promised he wouldn't go drinking with the person he was drinking with at the weekend! Knowing him like I do, I know it's bullshit! But I hoped he would be strong.

He was good for a week, told the man he'd been drinking with that he wasn't gunna be drinking with him anymore.

So cut to today! He's drinking with the guy he said he wouldn't! What my partner does is up to him but I feel let down! I had to deal with him being ill whilst this other person didn't give a fuck! My partner says he has control and won't be drinking to excess. It's not even about that! It's the bullshit.

Sorry, but this is another of those occasions when I resort to saying stop coming on MN writing the same thread over and over again for absolutely no reason. Because you keep posting the same tales about the same bloke and wanting advice, which we all give, which is always the same (ie, this man is an alcohlic/wanker/waste of space), and then you come back again to repeat the cycle.

It's a waste of our time and a waste of your time. As is he and this "relationship". Either get off of MN and actually DO something about it or accept you enjoy the drama and just live your life without wasting everyone else's time.

Fuck off Shatner, Post as often as you like Grooves, no one has to read if they don't want to. I think you will get there, I know you suffer with anxiety so it takes a while to be sure about what's the right thing to do. I'll always read. x

Timis As we've many of us said on the previous threads, the OP's anxiety would diminish enormously if she didn't have to spend her entire life worrying about what this fuckwit is going to do next!

You're totally within your rights to be upset and annoyed.
He's choosing to put his drinking habits and social life above the relationship.

But please please please think twice about starting a family with this man. Do you want the kids to not be able to do things because dad's gone out again? Are you willing for weekends to be a write off whilst he recovers from his last drinking session with his mate?

You don't want to let go of the dream...
But this isn't a dream is it? It's a nightmare.
And it will only get worse.

You have no insight whatsoever Shatner, and no right to tell people not to post anymore. Making an anxious young woman even more anxious is a shit thing to do, I can't believe you feel entitled to say what you have.

I have precisely the same insight as you, timis unless you know the OP in real life. I have read all her previous threads, I have seen countless threads of the same ilk over the years on MN and eventually someone does precisely the same as I do, to try and snap them into some form of action, because they refuse to actually get themselves out of the situations. People get invested and genuinely want to help and feel powerless when their advice is repeated time and time again.

I understand your opinion, of course. Sometimes a bit of "tough love" to get someone to wake up and smell the coffee is actually what does the trick.

The OP is making her situation and anxiety worse by remaining in this relationship, and by continually spending time on MN going over and over things again and again and not absorbing anything anyone actually says to try and help. By continually coming on MN and magnifying things and getting everyone to pile in makes everything seem bigger and worse. Which will complete mess up her anxiety.

I appreciate we have different views.

He's messaged this morning like nothing's wrong, completely ignoring the fact I was upset. He seems to think I'm upset due to being worried he'll drink to excess. I'm upset that he lied, he said he wouldn't drink with this man and he did, the worst thing being he asked this man to go for a drink so totally ignoring what he said to me!

I can't reply and he's made it so that if I do, I'm gunna look like I'm causing an argument.

I'm gunna try go NC for today!

YES Grooves go NC. You CAN do this! As I said on your most recent thread, it may seem scary at first but you CAN do this and I promise you after the initial scariness you will find your anxiety will improve when you have no more to do with this man. You are worth SO much more. Go for it, reclaim your life!

Don't worry. I wouldn't start a family with the person in the sense of having a child.

When I sad family setting, I meant the whole house wife scenario and looking after the DC's we have already.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. You know you are worth more than this. He won't change, not ever. Is his what you want from your life? Because if so, then yeah, keep on putting up with this shit. If not, then disengage, tell him it's over, block him and move on. I'm not saying it won't be hard, because it will hurt like hell for a while, but slowly, over time, your life will improve and keep getting better and better. You CAN do this x

I had anxiety when I was with my alcoholic ex and for a long while after I left him
Now that he lives in another country turns out I don't have anxiety

I dont know of this is allowed, to lonk to another thread. Report and apologies of not. Anyway, ot is the 30 days no contact thread. It might give you support to go nc for more than one day. He will not provide you with the family life you crave.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2980889-30-days-no-contact

I'm good at the no contact. I don't tend to message when I'm getting over someone as I like to keep myself distanced. But I will read it as some tips could come in handy

I've had anxiety pretty much all my life but never as much since I got with this guy.

I know it's gunna be hard, god! It's letting go of everything I wanted, even letting go of the good times. On good days I've never gotten on with someone like I did him and quiet scared I won't, ever.

Quite** 😁