bf of one year has just revealed he has £15k in debts from breakup with previous girlfriend

[moomoome]

. We have been together about a year and I thought he had some financial difficulty as he was always a bit tight with money but not because he wanted to, he was always just a bit sht most months. I asked to see his bank account and was soooo shocked to find loan and overdraft totalling £15k. He has told me it was debt built p in the last five years with his last girlfriend who always asked him to buy things for her and he couldnt say no. I just have nooo idea what to say or do to help him get it under control. He pays huge amounts of interest just servicing the debts. He is not accruing any more since he left her. I just didnt understand he relationship was getting into. I love him very much. He is a very kind and considerate man. I just dont want it to be like this and I dont know if to stay or leave or what to do really.

I'd leave him for this

I posted about something similar a couple of years ago, everyone told me to leave. I didn't immediately buy it was obvious things weren't going to change with regard to his spending habits. He tried to hide the debt. The deceit did it for me.

Doesn't say much about a man who "couldn't say no". Not a great trait. What else could he use that excuse about?

This post has actually upset me a little bit. I'll explain why.

Around two years ago I split up with my ex. When we split, he got me into debt (used my credit cards, rinsed my bank account and ordered himself things from a clothes company online I had a credit limit with). Ive been with my DP for a year also too, I also told him about my debt not long ago as we'd been discussing mortgages and family talk. I wanted to be upfront and as the relationship progressed he deserved to know!

The debt WAS my ex partners fault, I should have reported it but I stupidly didn't. I've cracked on and I pay it off regularly - it's my debt. I am a loving girlfriend, not abusive and it shouldn't raise red flags really. It's an embarrassing thing to admit and he's owned up to it.

Keep your finances separate but don't leave him for it, Christ!

In the OP's case, the debt WASN'T the ex-partners fault, it's just that OP's DP isn't taking responsibility for his own profligate spending. What you describe is akin to fraud and theft. In this case DP made a choice to spend money he didn't have. Very different.