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Original poster

If things ended with the man you thought was the love of your life, did you meet anyone better?

43 replies

user1499590110 · 17/07/2017 20:10

If you thought you'd met the 'love of your life' and it ended, did you meet anyone better?

i can't imagine ever meeting someone who makes my whole heart and soul light up. sounds cheesy but that really is how it felt. i cant imagine that happening more than once.

OP posts:
Barbaro · 17/07/2017 20:38

Yeah I thought my ex was the guy I would spend the rest of my life with. He made me really happy and made me feel loved for a long time. But things changed between us and I saw the real side of him. He did some horrible things to me, which made me stop loving him. That made it easier to leave but it was still hard as I thought he would never hurt me like that.

But I have found someone better, a lot better than him.

Not quite the same but it is possible.

headinhands · 17/07/2017 20:45

If they made your heart and soul light up because they were lovely to you, and you had similar values then absolutely yes, most people are lovely. If they made your heart and soul light up despite them being an arsehole then you have issues you need to address. From experience this 'soul mate' stuff usually occurs around abusive relationships.

doowapwap · 17/07/2017 20:46

I thought I had the love of my life, he was my world and I was his. That world ended when he was killed in action in Afghanistan.

But I am now happily married with dc. I can't imagine my life without dh, he is an incredible man and father. I wouldn't be without him. I don't compare them, ever. I'm a lucky woman to have loved my ex (doesn't feel right calling him that but hard to describe him otherwise) and i seriously couldn't see a world without him but look at me now!!!

NikiBabe · 17/07/2017 20:49

No.

Still hurt by it.

Still alone years later.

Times run out for me.

Andcake · 17/07/2017 20:51

Not better just different...

Breezybreeze · 17/07/2017 20:52

Yeah

AnneSansTete · 17/07/2017 20:53

No.

I'm happily married to a man that loves me and I have two beautiful children. The love of my life has been and gone and I can accept that. But I can't seem to ever replicate how he made me feel.

GoodLuckTime · 17/07/2017 20:53

Yes. Five years after I'd cut contact with 'the one' that was the ex.

Had early which really helped me to rebuild my confidence, understand relationships and what makes a good one better.

I've been with my now DH for eight years and we have two lovely DC.

Funnily enough I saw 'the ex one' at a work event a few weeks ago. Not seen him for 15 years. I'd always secretly thought that with better timing we might have made it.

Seeing him again was like the last piece of a puzzle: made me realise that what felt at the time like the end of the world was actually a lucky escape.

GoodLuckTime · 17/07/2017 20:54

Had therapy, that should be, after I'd cut contact with the ex. NLP, highly recommend

Neolara · 17/07/2017 20:56

Yes! Much better.

Greypaw · 17/07/2017 20:57

No.
First husband - being with him felt like the sun breaking out on my face. Total love. Left him when he became abusive.
Boyfriend-after-husband - made my stomach flip, I totally adored him and could have spent every second of my life with him. Left him when I decided I didn't want another abusive relationship. Three years later I still miss him.
Current husband - never made my stomach flip. Never made me melt with happiness. Can't say I was ever starry-eyed or excited about seeing him. But he's not abusive, he provides a safe space and is most likely the one that will outlast them all.

Gah81 · 17/07/2017 21:02

Yes I did. Had a wonderful ex, but for boring, sensible, practical reasons it didn't work out. Adored him and it was a lovely relationship.

A few years later, after some very sweet men who weren't quite right, am now engaged to a man that I couldn't imagine being without.

Mrsfluff · 17/07/2017 21:09

I spent 20 years with the man I thought I'd be with forever. We had many happy years, then some slightly more distant years and then he cheated. I was devastated. However, 9 months on I met my boyfriend and I don't think I've ever been happier. Just the thought of him makes me smile, we support each other and make each other laugh. Even if I could turn the clock back, and get my happy marriage back, I wouldn't, I feel I'm where I'm meant to be.

Somerville · 17/07/2017 21:10

I've had two great loves of my life so far. Married the first and after 15 years he devastatingly passed away. Married the second two and a bit years later.
I say I grew up with the first love of my life and will hopefully grow old with the second. Smile

The one is bollocks.

Orlandointhewilderness · 17/07/2017 21:20

I don't believe in 'The one'. My XH was the love of my life. I thought. I would have done anything for him, I utterly adored him. He cheated and it took me many, many years to get past that. Now I am with an amazing, kind, funny, intelligent man who I love completely and equally. It feels very different.

Decsbetterhalf · 17/07/2017 21:34

Yes! Much better .....

Can't believe I mourned so long after someone (the ex I never thought I'd get over)

There is ALWAYS HOPE!

NikiBabe · 17/07/2017 21:35

I honestly think the relationship works better if the woman loves the man less than he loves her.

TheNaze73 · 17/07/2017 21:43

That's a really interesting point Niki Wonder if that happens much?

NikiBabe · 17/07/2017 21:46

I just think if the man knows he never really has her, it works better. Once he knows she's head over heels they often take for granted.

KarmaNoMore · 17/07/2017 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HamletsSister · 17/07/2017 22:34

The love of my life died. 2 years later I met my DH and we have been happily married for nearly 20 years, 2 kids.

MistressDeeCee · 18/07/2017 01:30

Yes, I did. Couldn't ever imagine living without my ex. We met and clicked, was the best thing ever - for the 1st 5 years. Then he turned into an argumentative, belligerent, misogynistic monster. Cheated, too. I was so down when we split. Took me ages to get over him. When I finally learned to be happy by myself I met my current OH and he's my happy ever after. My ex doesn't compare. Goes to show, never say never...

Original poster
user1499590110 · 19/07/2017 21:18

these replies have given me hope. thank you

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 19/07/2017 21:21

No. She died.

Girlywurly · 19/07/2017 21:43

I broke up with the love of my life eight years ago, and have not found anything like it in the intervening years.

My ex is the most extraordinary person and not even a bit like anyone else I've ever met.

I'm lucky, because I kept him as a dear friend. We chatted on the phone for an hour yesterday and will go out for dinner next week. It took me years to get here, but I no longer regret our break up and do not secretly long for a reunion.

I'm hopeful that I'll love again, although it'll never be as fully as before because life is much more complicated now; not least because I have a DD. But if I never meet anyone else, I won't feel too sad, because I know I was lucky to have had what we shared.

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