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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

breaking point, please please help

35 replies

user1499670840 · 17/07/2017 02:52

I will try and keep this as short as possible.
Bit of background info: been with partner for 3 1/2 years; he cheated last year visiting a prostitute, visited multiple strip clubs (fine with but lies couldn't handle), went out on boat where naked women were hired, went to party with work friends where naked women were hired. Did this for 6 months behind my back, had no idea. Also, this year he has visited Craigslist personals and messaged people for photos (including men), asked him to stop, he didn't.

Current problem. Just moved to new city. Only here temporarily as saving money to travel South America. We both wanted to make a good group of friends to socialize together with which we have. No problems there. However, his work friends he is very secretive about and rarely mentions any one he works with. Last night he went for drinks with work friends and I was home alone and asked if I could join, he said sure.

I felt completely uncomfortable and awkward. One girl was there who he has mentioned once saying she took all of his cigarettes at work. At the pub, she asked him to go for a cigarette with him, the two guys with us starting making eyes at each other as if to suggest there was something going on. Didn't freak out. Ignored it. As the night progressed she wouldn't leave him alone. She was all over him. She was telling him how much she liked him, how 'he's mine' and even saying I love you. She even offered to give him private lessons to improve his barista skills (they work at a bar together). The look they gave each other in that moment was undeniable chemistry. She only lives a few blocks away from us and instantly jumped on that telling him how he should come round hers etc. After leaving the pub she said she wanted to change her trousers and asked my partner if he wanted to come back with her and use the toilet. Obviously we all came.

The next issue was then one of the guys with us start interrogating me. He asked me why I always have to hang out with my boyfriend - I explained we socialize in a big group of people (boys and girls) and go out most weekends. He then said I am controlling and why isn't my boyfriend allowed to come out with him and the people they work with. FYI my boyfriend has never mentioned any invites to nights out with that group. We always go out every weekend socializing so it's not like we isolate ourselves. He asked me why I don't have friends. I do and I do hang out with my work friends but he seemed to have a problem with me hanging out with my boyfriend. Yet apparantly I'm not allowed to socialize with my boyfriend and his work friends (which includes girls, and the girl hitting on him) which to me doesn't make any sense!

Then this is the next one. He asked me 'are you dating anyone else'? WTF. I said obviously not, I live with my boyfriend. He looks straight at my partner and said that's all I need to know. He then goes on to tell me I should leave my boyfriend and I deserve to be treated better. It was the most awkward conversation I've ever had to be a part of. I felt so humiliated and ganged up on.

I spoke to my boyfriend about it and as usual he said I'm too sensitive, why does it matter etc. I also asked him if he had been bad mouthing me to this guy seeing as what he was asking me was completely out of the blue and random. He said he hadn't but obviously he has and I feel so disrespect and humiliated. It has never been an issue and we always have fun when we go out together and aren't attached at the hip.

I feel like I am on the verge of a break down! He constantly makes me feel crazy. Even though he acknowledged the girls behaviour was wrong he said I had to get used to it because he is a good looking guy and it happens. But for me, if its inappropriate he should stop it but he doesn't. He expects me to put up with it.

I genuinely believe something is going on with this girl. He said that was the first time he met her, yet seems to forget he has already mentioned her to me before when working with her. Yet he is adamant that was her first day at work (?!) yet she's been working there for two months.

I am scared that he has manipulated my mind to the extent where I feel like I really do see things/hear things/make stuff up. He constantly says this to me and I don't know whether he's right or not. He says I am far to insecure and I don't trust him. I feel like I have lowered my boundaries so much for him (his past infidelities) that when I ask him to make it clear to this girl that he isn't interested I feel like I am being so controlling and unreasonable.

Please, please can someone help me! I really am on the edge :(

OP posts:
thestamp · 17/07/2017 02:57

Darling. It's not meant to be this hard.

Walk away. Can you go home? Or at least crash on someone's sofa?

This isnt a relationship. Let it go and move on.

user1499670840 · 17/07/2017 03:04

I moved to Canada to be with him :( I have no family here and all the lovely friends I have made at work are settled down so have passed the stage of wanting to go out and party. I honestly feel like there is something wrong with me mentally. This has been going on now for the past 3 and a half years. When a situation like that occurs I feel like its wrong, but he twists and manipulates everything to make it seem like it's me and there is something wrong with me, hence why I'm posting here! I am genuinely confused :(

I just don't understand why he won't put an end to the flirtation. Am I over reacting/seriously jealous?

Thank you so much for your response. A part of me agrees but then after the cheating and lies and being told he did it because of me and I pushed him to it I feel like I am so lucky to have someone that wants to stay with me

OP posts:
sunnywithadashofgin · 17/07/2017 03:05

This isn't a relationship. This isn't how someone treats someone they love and care about. LTB. He has treated you so so appallingly and showed you how little he cares!

professorvape · 17/07/2017 03:07

Someone who really loved and cherished you wouldn't treat you like you're being treated. This is no way to live! End it, work on your self esteem, this dickhead doesn't deserve you Flowers

user1499670840 · 17/07/2017 03:18

thank you for your kind words, I know I have to do something about it but I am absolutely petrified. I feel like he has completely destroyed my self esteem :( After last night I feel so alone and ashamed of who I am because of how his work colleagues treated me. Thank you again xxx

OP posts:
octoberfarm · 17/07/2017 03:24

Oh sweetheart, this is not how someone treats someone they love. He treated you terribly, blamed it on you and continues to behave appalling whilst still making you feel like it's your fault. You're not lucky to have him, he sounds awful. If you can, go home. Go back to surrounding yourself by people who love you and value you and who don't treat you like rubbish or stand by whilst their friends do.

You deserve so much more than this Flowers

BubblingUp · 17/07/2017 04:02

Could the co-workers be trying to tell you your boyfriend is a cheat? It seems like they were trying to clue you in, not be mean to you. They were trying to help you.

At my work I see co-workers fooling around with other co-workers and I sometimes wonder why these things never get back to their partners. It's just a workplace secret everyone seems to keep - an unspoken rule in the office.

It does sound like he is mind-fucking you in multiple ways. Please run away. This is no way to live. He is just a mere mortal, nothing special you should sacrifice your life for.

Junglefowl · 17/07/2017 04:04

Have you got anyone you can turn to for support e.g. Close family who can help you make plans to move back? He sounds really, really bad for you and it sounds completely clear you need to leave him. He is clearly very selfish and unkind too and it's very unhealthy he is making you (so understandably) feel insecure and with strong reason.

I would run a mile and surround yourself by normal people who treat you well and don't lie. You will need time and support to recover but don't ever let him define or hurt you again and you deserve someone as nice and respectful as you clearly are.

Junglefowl · 17/07/2017 04:06

Ps i second that the colleagues weren't trying to be mean, I think they were trying to warn you too.

prioritymail · 17/07/2017 04:26

I just don't understand why he won't put an end to the flirtation. Am I over reacting/seriously jealous?
Because he enjoys it.
No, you are not over reacting. If anything, not reacting enough. He's not trying to make you feel better in any way, and it doesn't sound like he values your relationship at all. Make every effort you can to LTB before something else happens.

user1499670840 · 17/07/2017 04:30

I've just confronted him (maybe shouldn't have) asking if something is going on with this girl. He told me to fuck off, he said im the most fucked up stupid person he's ever met and he hates me. My gut instinct is something is going on. The way they were looking at each other...everything.

OP posts:
WellThisIsShit · 17/07/2017 04:47

Does it really matter what is going on with this colleague?

So what if it was all so wonderfully innocent! Does it wipe away the horrible way he talk to you and behaves towards you? Just because he hasn't put his penis near this woman, does that also wipe away your need to be loved and supported and treated with respect and affection?

He's treating you so cruelly and seems to be keeping you in a permanent state of confusion and head-fucked-ness.

Is this what you deserve? Is this what any person deserves? Flowers

fizzytonicplease · 17/07/2017 05:10

*He told me to fuck off, and I said I'm the most fucked up stupid person her has ever met

If he loved you and respected you then he would not talk to you like this.

Please leave him, it doesn't matter if he is cheating. He has no respect for you, and you deserve better.
Relationships should not be this hard.

LTB, for your own sanity. Walk away, block him and forget about him.

OnTheRise · 17/07/2017 07:28

I don't think it matters if there's something going on with that girl or not (although I think there probably is). What's important is that he's making you feel bad, insulting you, and abusing you, and you deserve much better.

Doing anything seems impossible because he's whittled away at your self esteem for years. But you're still the same person you were before you met him.

Get yourself organised. Find all your important paperwork, if he has access to your bank accounts open new accounts in your name only, and make sure you move your money into it. And then leave.

Don't tell him what you're planning. Don't tell him you're leaving until you've done it. If you can't take all your stuff with you, consider it a freedom tax.

Life is too short to spend any more of it with an abusive, deceitful person.

Oilyoilyoilgob · 17/07/2017 08:01

His friend told you all you need to know (if you want to ignore your very correct sounding instincts)
*your bf obviously turns down some invites and blames it on you
*your bf tells people you have no friends
*your bf tells people you are controlling
*your bf has a side piece, his friend was shocked that you weren't seeing other people Hmm not a normal question

Ultimately I have never said this here but you need to leave this, it sounds like you'll end up with a massive effed up life because of his behaviour. This isn't normal.
You can move to wherever you wish. Sto saving to travel with him.
It sounds like you're in your early twenties maybe? Don't waste your life with a complete idiot that has zero respect for you.
Stand up for yourself, respect yourself and it's fine to be alone.
Don't settle

charlyn · 17/07/2017 08:12

He sounds awful, seriously what are you doing with him?! He has no respect for you and id put money on him still cheating. Dont fall into the trap of thinking that because you have moved to canada you have to put up with anything to stay in the relationship so it wont seem you wasted the last 3 years (google sunken costs fallacy). Are your family in the uk?

user1499670840 · 17/07/2017 08:57

Thank you all so much for your responses. I am happy I posted this as it's definitely been an eye opener seeing other people's perspectives. It's been ingrained in me for so long that I am the problem/something wrong with me etc so this has definitely given me the courage to do something about it. Thank you all again so much!

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 17/07/2017 09:07

The only thing wrong with you is that you didn't head all the red flags earlier and get the hell out.
But run now - run fast and far.
He's a vile creep.

AnyFucker · 17/07/2017 09:10

Go home, love

Squeegle · 17/07/2017 09:16

This problem is not you.
It's him.
You need to close the door firmly shut on this relationship. This man is totally disrespectful. Don't expect him to be different. DO expect more for yourself and get out of it asap.

thethoughtfox · 17/07/2017 09:20

Can you go travelling without him for an amazing adventure and a fresh start?

AshesandDust · 17/07/2017 09:47

He sounds like a psychopath, he’s toying with you and deliberately
playing with your mind.
Get away from this man asap and don’t look back, lovey. Flowers

badabing36 · 17/07/2017 09:59

Obviously leave the nasty fucker. Then think about why you've put up with it for 3 and a half years. You deserve soooooooooo much better.

Fantasticmissfoxy · 17/07/2017 10:18

You cannot run fast enough away from this abusive, gas-lighting, cheating, horrendous man. He is honestly one of the most vile partners I've ever read about on here. Thank your lucky stars you don't have kids together and get the hell out of dodge, as fast as you can.

His co-worker was absolutely trying to tell you your partner is screwing around and he's obviously told them a pack of lies about how you both 'see other people' . TBH even without the abusive and horrible way he talks to you the repeated prostitute use would be more than bad enough!

There is nothing wrong with you - and I'm not surprised your mental health is suffering being with such a fucking bell-end. You really need to do 3 things;

  1. Dump him immediately (and move out)
  2. Get an STI check
  3. Start making plans for what you want out of life, separate from him and try to start building your self esteem up to the point where you believe you deserve a kind, decent partner and not some self centered fuck-boy
differentnameforthis · 17/07/2017 10:21

He cheated on you with a prostitute. You need to
1] get STI checks
2] leave him

He has no respect for you, and clearly doesn't know what he has said to you as you have caught him lying.

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