Hi. My DH is currently not speaking to me as part of the fall out from an argument earlier. I genuinely feel he is being unfair but he is so convinced i'm in the wrong that I would really welcome other people's take on it. I'll try and record things as factually as I can to give a balanced view but obviously you're only going to get my pov.
Whilst driving home this morning he asked me if I'd done a couple of things I had said I would do for a company he runs (hobby that turned into a job for him, still a hobby for me) We split the running of the company between three of us; myself, DH and a friend who founded it with us several years ago. The three things that needed doing mostly fell within my remit and so he was completely reasonable in asking me to do it. I had forgotten to do two of the three things- my fault. I am a teacher and it's the final two weeks of term so all the report and assessment tracking software were either due last week or this week coming hence why it slipped my mind. I told him i'd forgotten and told him what progress i'd made with the other bits. He said that I was really annoying him as I kept forgetting things and that if anyone else continually let him down like that (I am pretty forgetful ) he would have replaced them with someone else. I apologised and explained that it'd slipped my mind and that i'd written down a to do list yesterday (when I remembered but when it was too late to do things like 'call the bank' which needs to be done on a weekday) to make sure I didn't forget anything this week coming.
He then went off on sort of a rant at me and I thought that what he was saying was fair (he is incredibly organised and has an excellent memory and I can't think of a single instance of him forgetting to do something he's said said he would) but because he was sort of ranting it was difficult to get a word in edgeways.
This is the bit where it descended into argument. In order to acknowledge he was speaking I was saying things like 'OK' and 'right' at the end of sentences every so often. He then became really irritated and said that I was doing the 'monosyllabic disingenuous thing again' and that when I do that Im not actually engaging in the conversation but am just verbally placating him.because I want the argument to be over. He said it was incredibly insulting to him and that he has told me how much this irritates him (he has) multiple times but that I insist on doing it. (I do continue to do this but it's honestly not deliberate - more of a verbal tic) He says it shows I have basically no respect for him because I don't attempt to change the way I speak or care about what he has to say and am fobbing him off with an equivalent to 'mmm yes dear'
My issue however is that my.other options in conversation are;
To be silent- but he then accuses me of ignoring him or not engaging in the conversation and then gets annoyed.
To actually respond to his points with full sentences (which is obviously the adult/correct decision) HOWEVER! He talks forever to stop talking! I have previously left it and waited for a pause so I can make my point and it took about 5 minutes! If I try and interject into the flow of what is basically a monologue I get accused of rudely interrupting him and failing to let him make his point. I also don't fancy a lifetime of waiting for him to finish speaking for aaaages and never getting my turn to talk.
Does anyone else have a take on it?