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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is my girlfriend selfish?

56 replies

BlingersMcBling · 16/07/2017 07:02

I've been seeing a girl for around 2 years and I'm getting to the point where I'm wondering if this is normal and would really like any other opinions.
There are a lot of things that have happened but the latest is: we are meant to be renting a new house where everything will be in my name but 2 weeks before we are about to move in she has left her job. She can't seem to hold down a job. She said there's one part of it she can't stand and I just think if it was me you'd put up with it until at least you'd found something else.
She has always struggled to keep a job and has had about 6 in the 2 years I've seen her.
Thing is I've got into a lot of debt and carried her throughout our relationship and I'm getting to the point where I'm just sick of it.
Also she has refused to do this other part of her job which means her work colleagues (who also hate it) have to do her shifts. This doesn't phase her at all but I know if it was me I wouldn't do that to my work colleagues.
There's also other cases of where she's been selfish I think eg
Her daughter really wanted to go to a school disco and was excited but my gf realised she had a nail appointment so just cancelled her daughters disco (instead of just cancelling her nails)
Also she's always leaving me to iron her kids clothes and make sure there's food in for them. Im not saying it should be just her responsibility but it just never enters her head, if I didn't then they wouldn't have anything. Anyway rant over, is this normal behaviour? Thanks

OP posts:
onanotherday · 16/07/2017 18:13

out of the fog.com..

how to deal with narcissismFlowers

Atenco · 16/07/2017 18:35

The nails/daughters disco thing is HORRIBLE, that poor kid

I agree.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 16/07/2017 23:47

I can't get past the nail thing.

LanaDReye · 16/07/2017 23:54

When you leave her tell her that it's partly as you disagree with the lack of responsibility she shows her DCs. She probably won't change, but it wouldn't hurt to make her think about her behaviour towards them.

You are then free to run away and be happy single or with a better partner!

Hissy · 17/07/2017 09:56

It's not the HUGE, great big nasty things people like this awful girlfrend do that hurt those in their lives the most actually, its the teeny weenie things. The nail thing is SO heinous!

You have 2 weeks before you move, you need to tell her now that you will be moving, and she will not.

Next, you will get some help (from here perhaps) to rebuild your self esteem to never ever, EVER get yourself so deep into such a bloody awful relationship.

She is no princess. A princess would not be so vile and mean to her own kids. That poor little girl was not upset, only a bit disappointed, because she is already accostumed to being put way down at the bottom of this awful woman's priorities.

She's no mother. A real mother would feed her kids before she eats. She is no woman, no partner, no girlfriend. A real woman wouldn't allow you to get yourself into hot water money wise on her account.

It looks like she has screwed up her own credit, and is on the way to screwing up yours too.

You do know what you need to do. It will be easier once its done. You can always be there for her kids if you want to be, but you have to get yourself out of this asap.

hellsbellsmelons · 17/07/2017 10:07

I think I know what I need to do
Wow - you THINK you know.
You should know 100%
This woman sounds friggin' awful.
Put a stop on renting the new place.
Find yourself a nice batchelor pad and enjoy being single and getting out and about.
You should need to ironing and feeding someone else's kids because they don't.
That's crazy.
Dump her.
She has to find her own way now.

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