Should I be annoyed ?

[Missing4u]

My boyfriend has just returned from seeing his children, have absolutely no problem with this.
What he has only just mentioned is that he also spent the day with his ex and what a nice day thu have all had together.
Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed ? It's not a birthday , there is nothing they need to celebrate and it's only a fortnight since they were all at a family party that I wasn't invited too.

Op, ultimately you do need to talk to him about it either way. Because like previous posters have said, you need to know how he sees your relationship. Good luck in coming to some kind of resolution and that it doesn't come in between you x

I think he's probably scarred by his last relationship.

3 years isn't that long, I wouldn't swear the small stuff.

They are separated. He doesn't see her at any other times than when he has the children.
Some of my friends have said perhaps it's guilt - he left for someone else and that didn't work out .. others have said it's just odd and whilst it's nice on occasion it doesn't need to be at every contact opportunity.

Are you sure you are the only GF? Perhaps you are being kept apart from his original family because they know he has multiple GFs in his life.

I imagine I'm the only one.
He lives in at his work place - and I also work there so surely co workers etc would be mentioning his co hort of women.
I have no reason to believe he's seeing anyone else or his ex I just would rather he was spending less time with her.

It's strange you've not met his children after 3 years, I feel very suspicious that he's using you, yes work can be mega busy but everyone else juggles it, do you stay over at his house ever???

Yes I do.

Have you showed any interest in meeting the children? Just you've said you aren't bothered by it so maybe he thinks you don't want to? Just thinking of a reason for why he hasn't.

But you are being unreasonable, of course he should see his kids a few times a month, he should see his kids at least once a week unless there is a reason he can't.

You have more of an issue with his ex than the kids though. You don't like them acting like a happy family. Fair enough but that's probably going to happen now and again, he has kids with her. Either put up with it or leave him. You can't change the situation, just whether or not you want to be part of it.

I've not said anything about the amount of time he spends with his kids and that's not what my question is.
I am happy about his relationship with th children.
My qualms were with her being involved so often - it is more frequent than infrequent.

Since his OW didn't work out, is there any chance he is wanting to get back with his ex?

I think he's still in love with her. He's keeping you as plan B.

Sorry op

Well we've been together 3 ... and they've been apart about 5ish ... it's a long time to stay with me if he wanted to go back isn't it ?

Not necessarily. She may not actually want him back. He could be keeping his options open.

It's his guilt for leaving that's making him try so hard to be a good dad and see them lots and co parent amicably imho.

Perhaps it is guilt but it has been such a long time - surely you can be amicable and not be spending time together as a "family" so regularly !

Do you know if the woman he left his ex for ever met and saw his kids?

Does his ex know he is in a relationship with you?

I'm wondering if he feels a bit shamefaced about leaving his ex for another woman and then it falling apart and having to introduce yet another woman to his kids.

Or perhaps his ex insisted that no more women were to be involved with the kids unless serious (i.e. Living together) iyswim?

Then unfortunately you are kind of stuck in limbo as the next girlfriend.

I feel for you op, as I guess you're not jealous of the kids and his relationship with them, but more his attitude of leaving you out in the cold so much. I wouldn't be annoyed with the ex and the kids, but I'd be annoyed at him.

It's really time to have the conversation after three years on where the relationship future is headed and if he sees you living together and sharing lives as partners etc.