EA partner just left me! Hand hold please?

[numbandlost]

Just that really I've stood by him through depression emotional abuse an affair and he was the one who finished with me!
Never felt so low! Feel pathetic!

You will get through this OP and one day you'll wake up and realise he did the best thing for you by leaving

Definitely go into town and treat yourself, why don't you get some nice candles and bath oils so you can have a nice soak when the kids are in bed tonight. Cleanse yourself rid of that prick

Take it one step at a time, your children will hep you get through

Xx

If you can visit friends or family over the weekend that would be a good distraction.

Or take the kids out somewhere... Doesn't have to cost much... A museum... Picnic...

Anything to focus on the important people in your life. Having a strong mum as a role model will really benefit them.

You're worth more than he has the ability to give.

Best thing is he's not your problem anymore and if he decides he made a mistake as they often do... Think very carefully about what he's put you through.

I bet you wouldn't want a daughter of your treated that way and you'd be ashamed if a son of your treated a woman the way he's treated you.

i bet you wouldnt want a daughter of yours to be treated that way

Absolutly this

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond it means so much to me I'm crying just reading the responses.
I went down to town and got a few bits of make up and clothes.
I don't really have any local friends but I reached out to an old friend didn't tell her what's happened just that I could really do with a friend and she said she is out this weekend on a girls night out and I should definitely tag along. I've asked my mum to babysit and she said yes so think I'm gonna try make myself go. I don't really feel up to it but maybe it's what I need.

It could be! Just be careful of drunk texting/phoning/crying. I didnt go out for a month or so after me and exp spilt because it felt too raw and i was worried about being a emotional reck, although im not particually a emotional drunk. But saying that, grab any chance you can to get yourself out!

I keep coming back and reading the thread for support I just haven't known what to reply because I'm really struggling. Spent most of the day in tears.
The kids are in bed and I've run a bubble bath and poured a glass of wine but I just can't stop crying and get it together and get off the sofa.

Have you two had any contact since he left? How long have you been split up?

Yes your are absolutely right karma I usually have 2 glasses on a Friday and 2 glasses on a Saturday so one bottle over a weekend and I'm sticking to that. I've had my 2 glasses and that's my limit for tonight.
My cousin went through a terrible break up became an alcoholic and unfortunately she passed away leaving 2 young daughters behind so I know only too well the dangers of turning to alcohol in hard times.
Vodka it only happened yesterday so still very fresh, he made contact today but only to say he feels he made the right decision and it's what's best for all of us and asked to take the kids for a few hours tomorrow.

If you had a skip full of shit in your driveway, would you be upset if it upped and left before you got round to slinging it yourself?

poor what a brilliant way of looking at things

I think that's the first time I've smiled today

I've used the analogy quite a few times because it's so apt.

Now fuck him with a toilet plunger and let's focus on you. The only thing you should be concerned about is why you stuck with him when he treated you so badly. Therapy, counselling and the Freedom Programme should help with this. May the next skip be gleaming.

Pooryorick thank you
I spoke to relate out of desperation at my situation and they've told me to call women's aid for help and said they have courses's that might help me. So that's my next big step forward I guess.

Barely slept again I just feel sick and did that thing where you wake up and you've forgotten what's happened and then it hits you like a ton of bricks.

for you. I remember that feeling well, i used to wake up feeling so anxious.
For the record i sleep like a baby now, starfish in bed and i love it
And he is right.. he has made the right desision.. good riddance!

Remember you are starting this from a weak position - he has made you think you are useless and can't possibly cope without him. That text was testing the waters - waiting for you to crumble and beg him back - I hope you didn't

Can someone hand the children over for you today?

youre stronger than you think - you can do this

Not looking forward to having to see him today but I guess I'll have to get used to it. Going to put my make up on get dressed and hold my head high. Well that's the aim anyway!

Please don't show him any real effort! Make up dressed up? He'll think it's for his benefit.

When he collects - dont engage - hand them over and say - right see you at 3? Bye kids be good!

Shut the door!

I always do my make up it would be more weird if he turned up to be slobbed out like I am now.
I said to him yesterday to let me know what time he was coming for the kids so that I could have them ready and he didn't have to be lingering around but hasn't given at time yet.

Well start giving turns - the kids will be free from 11am - please confirm

Don't ask - get in first so you aren't hanging around

Sorry I've missed some of the replies
No I didn't beg him back but I did tell him that he is going to massively regret this one day and he agreed.
He has done this a few times before over the last year or so usually when he is struggling with his depression.
But it does feel different this time o feel like he really means it and I need to get strong now and stop being a doormat.

You should be glad he means it this time!
Just imagine another year/5 years/10 years constantly going through this?
You can be happy again and you WILL be happy again.

You said he was abusive? You've got kids right?

Start putting them first and you will have no regrets about it.