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Original poster

Just found out he cheated

64 replies

JustWhy1 · 12/07/2017 22:36

So just found out my DP of 9 years has been cheating on me with someone from work he claims it was only sexting but from a message i saw where she says she has him worn out i believe it was a lot more. I am absolutely devastated...why do they do this Sad

OP posts:
MarilynMonsoon · 13/07/2017 14:33

I'm still reeling from this happenening to me as well just my DP cheated with a girl at work, honestly I know it's so shit and it's beyond heartbreaking to find out he isn't the man you thought he was but honestly it will get better. Flowers what is your practical situation in terms of leaving?

Original poster
JustWhy1 · 13/07/2017 14:43

I found out originally that he cheated when he accidentally sent a message to me that wasnt meant for me. This was 4 weeks ago and he told me it was a stranger he met on a night out and was just flirty txting.

Only found out last night from going through his phone that it is a girl he works with.

After i got back with him he made such an effort told me he had cut ties with this girl and things were great between us but now i fear that while he was making an effort he was still messaging her at the same time.

He was messaging her through skype and said he deleted all the messages this morning. I need to see the messages to see if this was still continuing as he told me he stopped 3 weeks ago and if it hasnt i will dump him straight away. I need proof of this if i am to give things a go if i even can i just need all the information first. He told me that he didnt tell me it was someone from work as he knew i wouldnt get back with him the first time if it was.

I do have somewhere to go if needs be

OP posts:
Original poster
JustWhy1 · 13/07/2017 14:45

Marilyn Monsoon are you still with him ?

OP posts:
Adora10 · 13/07/2017 14:58

I'd suggest you go then OP, you've seen the words referring to sex.

Also, he then lies and makes out he was just sending flirty messages to a girl he met when out, like that's ok then!

If it ended three weeks ago why is he having to delete messages because he knows you will then find out it never ended.

I don't think you have any intentions of dumping him, you have more proof than I would have need to tell him to sling his hook but yet, he's still there with you.

Good luck, you will NEVER find out the truth because he is covering so much.

Goingtobeawesome · 13/07/2017 15:03

Seems like you're changing the goal posts about what will make you end it. If you want to stay with him , stay. It's your life and you don't have to justify your decision. Equally, if you want him to go you can tell him so. You don't need to catch them having sex. TBH he's done enough that anyone would agree with you it's right and okay to end it.

rizlett · 13/07/2017 15:03

OP - you don't really need to know the 'truth'.

This is painful - if it hurts - it isnt love.

He is not respecting you - at all.

You can carry on and continue to live with this pain every day or leave the pain behind. It doesn't even need to be painful - you can choose to feel hurt or you can choose to let go - he isn't worth feeling anything for.

Original poster
JustWhy1 · 13/07/2017 15:17

I know i need to go i am just heartbroken

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 13/07/2017 15:31

You can retrieve deleted text messages.

If he's being truthful ask him to give you his phone.... Just Google how to retrieve deleted texts.

If it's an iPhone... I hear Dr Fone is good.

If it's another phone... Let me know and I'll direct you to a helpful resource.

Another suggestion... Tell him your relationship has a chance of surviving if he comes cleans... Ask if he's willing to do a polygraph test to prove there was no sex.

If he agrees... Tell him you'll be booking it.

Even if they haven't had sex, something physical has likely happened.

Original poster
JustWhy1 · 13/07/2017 15:40

Its skype messages how can i retrieve these after they have been deleted ?

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 13/07/2017 18:07

Was the message you found on Skype?

I googled this

Click the Contacts icon/tab located right under the Call Phones option on the main screen. Left-click the contact from which you wish to view history and select a time period from the list above the text field. You can select and view messages/calls from yesterday, this week, this month, or for the past three months.

Original poster
JustWhy1 · 13/07/2017 22:48

Ya its skype he has all the messages deleted is there any way of recovering them

OP posts:
helenfagain · 13/07/2017 22:56

What device was he using Skype on?

helenfagain · 13/07/2017 22:58

If it is an iPad or iPhone you may be able to restore to the last backup? Not sure if that works for Skype though.

SandyY2K · 13/07/2017 23:18

See my post on Skype recovery above.

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