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Relationships

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Original poster

Does This Effect Your Decision

46 replies

JohnnyBroad · 12/07/2017 22:01

Hi Everyone,

New to this website and I understand this isn't a singles forum but I have a question for the women of this forum please.

I am a 32 year old male and I live at home with my parents, this is due to a low income of a number of years and being made redundant so I didn't have a job for a year, I have been employed again for the past 2 thankfully.

Lately I have met a girl we were texting and everything was going great, until, she asked about where I lived and I told her about my situation and since then she has not been texting back and or ignoring me as it seems to me. This has happened to me before at the back end of last year, I asked her on dates 4 times and got a yes each time but they never materialised, then after the 4th times she told me she wasn't attracted to me and it would be cruel to lead me on and think that there is a chance.

I was wondering if my age of 32 and still living at home a big turn off for girls?

OP posts:

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 12/07/2017 22:06

Yes.

Not very sexy to have a kiss goodnight and not be able to go back to his in case his Mum and Dad heard.

I understand why you are doing what you are doing though. But most women won't go for it.

C0untDucku1a · 12/07/2017 22:08

redundancy can just be bad luck. What are you prospects for getting a good job? What are you qualifications? General experience / career direction? What are you short term / long term plans?

Timmytoo · 12/07/2017 22:11

Nothing wrong with living with parents. Actually I've moved in with my partner and his parents as the area in the country we moved back to is unaffordable. This has allowed me to save for a house of my own in a different area but that I'm renting out as I love the area I currently live in, however to buy here costs millions. It wouldn't put me off, in fact it's pretty cool as you can get a place together and not have to worry about selling or contracts etc.

Joysmum · 12/07/2017 22:14

It'd be a massive turnoff for me. I'd rather rent a room and be independent than live parents. Can't understand why people would rather live off parents at the cost of their independence, all be it in a rented room than having your own place.

SparklingRaspberry · 12/07/2017 22:15

To me it would depend on the reasons.

If a guy wanted to live at home because he couldn't be bothered to move out and live alone then yes I would walk away.

If he was living at home for the reasons you gave then no it wouldn't put me off

Hassled · 12/07/2017 22:18

I think it might depend on how you're selling it. A confident "Yes, I live with my folks - it works for now" would be fine. A glum "Yes, I live with my parents and it's bloody depressing" (or the equivalent in tone) would be a a right turn off. So try to own it - it's clearly not awful living back at home or you would have left, so make it as positive and upbeat as you can.

adifferentnameforthis · 12/07/2017 22:34

Wouldn't have bothered me, especially if I had my own place so we had somewhere private.

It sounds trite but the right girl for you won't mind.

Ohyesiam · 12/07/2017 22:42

There is a stereotype of a dependant, henpecked, old fashioned mummies boy, a bit set in his ways, not adventurous, etc.
Like most stereotypes it's rubbish, until you meet one that lives up to it.
If people beyond can't see past a prejudice to the person underneath, you are better of without them. But it might help to get to know someone at least a little ( so they can see the sparkling real you!), and then tell them.

Jayfee · 12/07/2017 22:43

have you always lived at home??

Original poster

JohnnyBroad · 12/07/2017 22:49

Yes Jayfee

OP posts:

adifferentnameforthis · 12/07/2017 22:59

I have to say, I would want you to be thinking of some plan to move out eventually. What if it worked and we married? Am I supposed to move in with your parents?

I'm fine with it as a temporary measure but not forever (personally, i know a few people who have moved in with parents and it's fine for them

doozeldog · 12/07/2017 23:01

It wouldn't bother me!

RainyApril · 13/07/2017 06:58

I think most people dating have an ideal in mind, and sadly it often isn't someone in a low paid job and still living with their parents at 32. It suggests you have little motivation, aspiration or independence even if that isn't true.

If someone met you, say at work, and properly got to know you first, I think that it wouldn't matter. But someone who barely knows you as a person would be put off.

I assume you have a plan to move out so maybe 'I'm living with my parents just now, long story but hopefully about to change'.

user1497455653 · 13/07/2017 07:35

I feel awful admitting it but I think if you had moved out, fallen on hard times then gone back to your parents I would look at that differently to if you had always lived with parents and never moved out.

noego · 13/07/2017 08:07

If you're a decent bloke then that what women should see. If they judge you for not leaving home because of circumstances then I would suggest they're not the kind of person you want in your life.

ShatnersWig · 13/07/2017 08:09

If it had just been "I was made redundant last year so I moved back home just while I got on a sound footing again and I will be moving out in a couple of months" I think that's fine. Having never left home to be independent at the age of 32 will put a LOT of people of, rightly or wrongly.

yetwig · 13/07/2017 08:16

My husband at 44 was still living at home when i met him, didnt worry me or put me off. He's a family man which is quite attractive means he cares. His Mum was single so it worked well for them, she was so upset when he moved out but now loves her independance and is happy to have gained a dil aswell.

If she cant accept you for who you are then shes not the right one for you.

DanielCraigsUnderpants · 13/07/2017 09:16

Wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. Its not ideal however, I'd find it less attractive if you were living beyond your means, racking up lots of debt and being irresponsible.

As yetwig says the right girl, wont care about that and she'll be excited to make future plans with you.

Tearsoffrustration · 13/07/2017 09:31

I agree with people above - if you had to move back with your parents because you had fallen on hard time & were planning on moving back out when back on your feet then that would not put me off.

You must have ALOT of money saved if you have always been living there!

rightwhine · 13/07/2017 09:35

I think it gives out the idea you are not very adventurous at best, and a lazy mummy's boy, at worst.

OutComeTheWolves · 13/07/2017 10:47

I hate to say it but if you were currently living at home I wouldn't be bothered. It's the fact that you've always lived at home that would make me think twice.

However that's just because I had a bad experience once moving in with an ex who had never lived independently before and so had no idea of the work that went in to running a house. I agree with other posters who say that the right girl for you won't care about your living arrangements.

kaitlinktm · 13/07/2017 10:51

My son still lives at home at age 32 - but he is doing up a house. He doesn't have a ltr but does have dates and was seeing someone intermittently until last month. The reason it cooled off wasn't because of his living arrangements though.

I think pp are right - it's your attitude to where you live which counts. If you say you are saving for your own place and hope to move out in the not-too-distant future, it makes you sound more independent.

wherearemymarbles · 13/07/2017 11:02

I would think some women would think his mum:
Cooks his food
Does all his washing
Darns his socks
Changes his bed sheets
Clean his bedroom
Tells him to wash behind his ears

And that she will then be expected to do all this for you. I doubt thats very sexy.

Its tough because if they dont stay long enough to get to know you, they are likely just to look at the negatives.

pinkyredrose · 13/07/2017 11:04

if you've always lived with parents then yes that's a turn off. if you moved in with a woman would you magically expect housework and meals to be done by the housework fairy?

hellsbellsmelons · 13/07/2017 11:09

This would be a big turn off for me as well.
Unless you had a plan in place to move out soon.

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