Can somebody give me hug, please?

[Chandra]

I'm having a rubish day today,, after many years of problems, DH and I might divorce and... my father rang last night after midnight to tell me he was very upset at the thought that I could be blocking MIL (who is almost a legend in Mumsnet) from seeing DS. It took me 45 min to convince him I was not blocking MIL from anything but, if her son didn't want to spend time with her, I was not going to be insisting him for us to go and visit her particularly after the way she has acted towards us.
Nightmare, it's not that I had expected some support because I'm getting divorced... but I never expected this.

My mother has also told me not to expect any support from them, as her parents divorced and she is convinced that if her grandmother had not been so "helpful" when her mum separated from her father, she wouldn't have left the marriage.

My sister told me last week that I was a selfish person as "as a wife, I was not here to change the world but to conform and submit to DH's needs". (she is a 1930's model and well proud of it)

Holy... I am remembering why I spent so much time out of the house when I was living with them.

Today I feel lonelier than ever.

{{{{{ chandra }}}}}

So sorry that you're going through all this shit and not getting any support.

Awww I don't do hugs, but your sister sounds like a complete throwback! How could she say that to you and mean it?

I hope you come out of this a stronger and happier person. It sounds like you will be stronger and happier than your sister certainly!

Chandra,bloody hell.

at your sister.
May I just give her a little, little slap?? Don't tend to do hugs either, but could do

We've got a couple of friends divorcing atm, and i am astounded at the level of judgment from all around.

Like rubyrioja's idea, too

Message withdrawn

Thanks for your replies.

Unfortunately, although my sister is a bit of a extreme example, this attitude is quite regular in my country. So yes, she means it, she doesn't know any different (or aprove of)

And with my father... he went on and on about other things. He said I was divorcing because I was professionally frustrated, when I said I was doing it because I have had enough of being on my own, copying with DS's particular needs and stressing that his own father could accidentally kill him (as you are aware, DS has severe allergies and Dh can't even remeber that Nutela has nuts). That I wanted to be in a place where I could have more support (obviously... after the conversation that place doesn't exist any more ) but no, he went on on why I shouldn't trust my friends and told me that he didn't have any friends at the moment (most have died) and she was not divorcing my mother to move away.

oh... and he insisted that I thought it was not professional frustration but he was sure it was!

I don't even like the idea of going back to Multimedia as I hate programming but obviousl, my father knows best... [sarcastic emoticon]

{{{{{hug}}}}} Speechless

lots of{{{{hugs}}}}} for you lovely

Thank you, I have been weeping while reading your messages. I'm feeling a bit better now.

Is it just that I have had a bad week or am I geting mad?

Please bear with me...

DS had a severe reaction to peanut in the flight back home on Monday. I have been feeling miserable at realising he reacts by skin contact with peanut dust.

SIL is getting married and MIL and her have spent 2 months complaining to DH about their worries about me and DS not dressing up to standard for the wedding (wtf? they have no excuse whatsoever to complain about that, besides, isn't a bit rude to be so demanding when there is no dress code in the invitation and it is a humanist celebration?). On top of that, SIL has been insisting that we should not bring DS's safe food to the wedding no matter how many times we have explained how dangerous crosscontamination could be particularly given that nuts are included in the menu and the poor chef, who has no knowledge of allergies, is hurrying to prepare another 100 plates.. and... given the current circumstances in our marriage H and I have agreed since weeks ago that neither of us were going but... I realised on Monday that he has not told his family (he said she was expecting me to change my mind [WHAT???]).

So, on Monday, after my H told SIL that DS had this quite scary reaction during the flight, and that we were so upset about it, she dismissed it and insisted about the chef so... I took the initiative to send her a letter to inform her what her brother had not had the courage to tell her, that DH and I had agreed that it was better for DS and I not to attend, and explaining how rude WE found them to bother so much about our appearance, and above all...to insist inrisking DS life just to avoid having a weird looking plate on the table.

H is obviously annoyed with me, but... why am I to shut my mouth and show up at the wedding pretending that everything is fine? why should I risk my son so she has the wedding she wants, is asking to bring the food for an allergic child such a faux paux in wedding etiquette?

And then... my father rings...

If you have read all this... many, many thanks

hughughughughug

Thanks.

I think this has put so many things into a different perspective. I feel as if I have no safe place to go, but... this has also remind me of why I left in the first place. So off to search again

Blimey, it always amaze me my ability to kill my own threads...

Really sorry you are having such an awful time, Chandrax

Chandra................

Totally ed at your family. Poor you.

blumming Family's its right what they say

you can choose friends but you cant choose families!

I haven't got an ample bosom but I'd like to give you a hug.

Blimey.

Can't think of the right words, but you always seem like such a strong and kind person. Perhaps life in some ways might be easier without your DH who doesn't seem to be much of a help - more of a hindrance really when it comes to your DS's health.

His family seem completely and utterly bonkers.

Pinkchampagne, we'll survive!

ample blossom??? MArs, you always manage to make me laugh!

Thanks for the hugs.

Thanks MrsWednesday, that's a very kind thing of you to say.

Then my work here is done!

Gracias

HOw's the Spanish coming along?