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Relationships

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Original poster

Sick of being insulted for my weight

51 replies

ImTooFarAwayFromBeingMe · 08/07/2017 20:34

I've got 5 kids. My youngest is 13 months. I'm still breastfeeding him regularly and I'm 12st. I'm. Why self conscious about my weight even bough 12st isn't that bad considering I'm 5.9 in height. Yes I'm not skinney and yes I could do with losing a few stone but I'm sick of being reminded about that. I was sat eating tea minding my own business and my DH says 'oh your only still breastfeeding because you think you can eat what you want, you have mayonnaise on a lot of your food' ( I didn't have mayo on my tea today at all and only have it with chicken and salad really)
I feel like he's making digs because I'm not a size 8-10. I'm still breastfeeding my son because he's so clingy and he relies on breast milk for comfort for at night ( he's up 2-3 times in the night) and the daytime and he just won't give it up... I can take breastmilk from him and he will scream for hours so I have no choice to keep breastfeeding him until he weans himself off. I feel like shit. Now I feel like I should starve myself to become the size 8-10 he P desires of me

OP posts:

Blondielongie · 08/07/2017 20:39

Your husband is being a dick. Such a dick.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 08/07/2017 20:40

You can lose weight sometime in the future, but your husband will always be a twat

Rubyslippers7780 · 08/07/2017 20:41

Are you married to an Adonis?
He is a dick. Ignore and tell him to jog on

Aquamarine1029 · 08/07/2017 20:41

I understand that you're tired and sensitive, but I think it's good that your partner is concerned about your weight. Obviously, the way he expresses his concern is important, but you might need to acknowledge that anything he says might set you off, no matter how nicely he tries to say it. The fact is 12st is overweight, and it's a very slippery slope from there. If your eating habits are poor and you eat too much, that 12st will become 20st before you know it. This is NOT only about how you look. This is for your health and the kind of life you want to live. Maybe if you talk to him about how he phrases things, you could have better communication.

Quartz2208 · 08/07/2017 20:44

Actually your bmi is 24.8 so borderline overweight so I think you have a dh issue

dementedpixie · 08/07/2017 20:44

12 stone isn't overweight for 5' 9" and her dh sounds like a tosser for the way he speaks to her about her eating habits

strongandlong · 08/07/2017 20:45

That's bollocks aquamarine. If he was concerned about her health he'd say that, not just criticise her.

12 stone at 5'9'' isn't even overweight! It will certainly not "become 20 stone before you know it"

ellenripleysbiceps · 08/07/2017 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FaFoutis · 08/07/2017 20:47

Aqua, the Op feels like shit. Well done.
Please don't project your own issues onto a poster asking for support.

12st and still Bf is fine. The husband is quite clearly either nasty or just a twat.

strongandlong · 08/07/2017 20:47

Do you want to stop breastfeeding OP? I eventually encouraged dd1 to wean, but it meant DH doing all the bedtimes and night wakings for a while.

mumonashoestring · 08/07/2017 20:48

oh your only still breastfeeding because you think you can eat what you want

Aquamarine, that is not a phrase that comes from a place of love and concern, it's dismissive, ignorant, and designed to put the OP down, nothing more. It's not about phrasing, it's about the underlying shittiness. If you think the OP should be grateful for this because hey, better miserable than fat, then you've got your priorities way out of whack.

TooFar is your DH the perfect model husband you'd like him to be? I suspect I already know the answer...

Original poster

ImTooFarAwayFromBeingMe · 08/07/2017 20:49

@Aquamarine1029 I don't think your post was particular helpful. Considering my height, 12 stone isn't massively overweight, yes maybe by a stone or less but not massively and I would never become '20 stone' because I don't eat that much to become 20 stone no where near!!

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 08/07/2017 20:51

12st is 168 pounds. That is overweight for a 5'9 female. And I call bullshit on everyone criticizing the husband if he's concerned with how she looks. I have seen many threads about women whose partners have gained a lot of weight, they no find him attractive, and everyone sympathizes with her. As do I! I would be very turned off if my husband was overweight, and I would be very concerned about his health. Saying it's unreasonable for the husband to care how his wife looks is sheer hypocrisy.

TFPsa · 08/07/2017 20:51

Squirting mayo all random stuff stuff isn't really my bag, it is senselessly fattening and arguably a bit slobbish.

But most things are ok in moderation and from your height and weight alone you sound like you're basically somewhere within what I'd call a normal weight range.

Original poster

ImTooFarAwayFromBeingMe · 08/07/2017 20:53

Thanks everyone for your lovely relies. I'm actually suspecting that he doesn't like to see me happy because I was happy today instead of feeling low and hen he made these comments.

I want to stop breastfeeding but I don't know where to start to be honest

OP posts:

FaFoutis · 08/07/2017 20:53

The NHS says it is not overweight.

dementedpixie · 08/07/2017 20:56

Nhs says it's normal weight for that height as do other bmi calculators. There are ways to show concern and the way get dh is acting is not one of them

Original poster

ImTooFarAwayFromBeingMe · 08/07/2017 20:56

@Aquamarine1029 my husband will never be happy with my weight. After I had my second baby I went on a serous diet ( to feel happy within myself) as before having kids I was a size 10, after having my 2nd baby ( I had two close together) I was a 14 and then I went in a diet and got to a size 8.. I was very very slim and he went mad saying I'm too skinny. Hen when I got pregnant with my 4th I was no longer a size 8 and now he's still not happy. Can't win. I've found it more hard losing weight in the last few years and it could be because I'm suffering from anxiety and depression but I'm trying ...

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 08/07/2017 21:00

Sounds like he will find fault whatever you do then. Is he a skinny sex god then?

FaFoutis · 08/07/2017 21:00

That sounds awful ImToo.
This isn't a weight problem at all.

How is he in other ways?

Blondielongie · 08/07/2017 21:00

OP, he doesn't sound very nice. How long have you been with him? Can you talk to anyone in RL about your relationship?

I don't know if it will come to this or if it's appropriate to your situation, but just in case you need to hear it:

you deserve to be happy. You only live once. You don't have to stay with someone just because you have kids with them.

dementedpixie · 08/07/2017 21:01

I really don't see what it's got to do with him. It's your body not his

Blondielongie · 08/07/2017 21:02

Most importantly, you deserve to be happy!!

BuzzKillington · 08/07/2017 21:02

What a twat.

You're barely overweight.

Mulch · 08/07/2017 21:03

Lose alot of weight quickly by ditching your insensitive tactless husband

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