AIBU: How much time does your husband/Other Half spend at home?

[user1499359004]

My husband has recently moved jobs.
He leaves at 7.30am and is hardly ever home before 8.30pm
We have two young kids 4 & 3
Now, his job is providing us with a good standard of living I do appreciate that BUT equally I feel resentful because he is hardly here. At the weekends he does spend all his time unless he has something planned with his many hobbies.

Am I just ungrateful?
His answers is it wont be forever but by the time he has more time at home, our kids will be big and I wont need him half as much...

Kind of just wondering is this the norm in most household

Mine did more than those hours when ours were young. He eventually mitigated it slightly by changing the transport used to commute which gave him/us roughly an extra 100mins a day which made a good difference (left later/home earlier). Now he's away 4 nights a week every week but the difference is he does one day from home & when he's here he's pretty hands on (sees more of them than when he was here every night!). I do understand that it's hard for you and for him too....is there any way to reduce commuting time?

Mine leaves on a Sunday night and isn't back till a Friday night

Wow I feel really lucky! And spoiled. DH gives DC their breakfast while I get ready then I get them dressed etc while DH gets himself ready. DC and I leave for the school run at 8.15am and DH leaves at 8.30am. He is home by 6pm. We all eat dinner together, bath DC together then have a child each to do stories and bed. He goes out on a Fri night but spends all day Sat and Sun with us (we're quite boring and introverted and generally just do stuff as a family). His work pays well too. I am very lucky to have him - plus we're up north where we can afford a house 10mins from the city centre so he has a short commute. to all the mums and dads doing so much on their own.

I'm going to throw a spanner in the works here but I work for a city firm and work with plenty of men who don't WANT to go home for bath time/bed time/general chaos. They prefer getting home later when the kids are in bed. It's sad but true.
I'm not saying this applies to anyone here but there undoubtedly examples of men who don't really want to do their share

Varies for my partner his hours have been lower than normal recently so he's been leaving 6/6.30 and home 4/4.30 (usual it's 6 or later) he's home earlier on Fridays. It's been lovely for me and DD, but he's paid hourly so less money.

From next week he's working away from home though, so we will only see him on weekends and maybe only every other .

Ha I sometimes wish my Dh was out 12 hours a day! Mine works night shifts so he is here but asleep.

My DP is nightshift and I'm day shift so we're like passing ships. At the weekend I'm usually doing all my bits and bobs like hair appt, nails done, lunches with friends, housework and he goes fishing, working on the cars. We do spend 1 date night per week though which we go out for a meal or a few drinks.
This works for us at the moment as we are child free and we make a decent living for our age (mid 20s) If we had kids I would expect us both to dedicate more time at home.

DP leaves at 6.30am and is home on the dot of 5pm, 4pm on Fridays and will take a half-day if I ask (and he's got hours banked). Commute is 40mins-1hr. It's not stellar pay, but it's enough that the rent and bills are paid on time, and what money I bring in (erratic hours and very, very few jobs in my area to move to) can be spent on luxuries.
He's home almost every weekend, and checks with me before he commits to anything- and I do the same.
Sometimes he gets on my nerves because he likes to be right where I am, all the time and I'm much more solitary but overall I like him being home so much.

DH leaves around 7.15, home by 4.30 (he works 8-4). Very very occasionally he has an evening or weekend event. Maybe 4 or 5 times a year. He also gets 40 days' annual leave. It's bliss. BUT he earns pretty rubbish money - but it's enough for us to get by on.

We actually moved countries to be able to have a better work/life balance. DH went from working two jobs, 8-6 and then 6-midnight two or three nights a week to this. His monthly income dropped by about a third - but we're far happier. In fact we both took a step backwards career-wise and it was the best decision ever.

Dh leaves about 6.00 am and on average back about 9.00 pm . Earlier than 8.00pm is unusual.We are in our fifties now , it has been like this most of our married life , nearly 30 years. I hate it and resent it more with every year , he thinks he is normal and it is true that we know plenty of others who do similar , but that doesn't make it right .

@caffeinestream DP leaves at 7.45, home by 4.15. He's a plasterer. Never works weekends/bank holidays unless it's an emergency and he's then paid double-time for it.

at a mental picture of "QUICK! Call CaffeineThePlasterer, we have a PLASTERING EMERGENCY!!"