Narc Rage....

[EasyToEatTiger]

I have been told so many times to LTB and the Freedom Programme is brilliant.
Some of you have suggested that my husband is a narcissist and really I couldn't see it. He is not grandiose or self-centred in the way that an overt narcissist behaves. Has anyone else heard of Covert Narcissism?

For years, I have thought there was something really not quite right about my husband. He supplies all Gottman's Four Horses of The Apocalypse in spades. These behaviours suggest there is something wrong beyond just the behaviour.

His therapist tells him he endured 'benign neglect'. As far as he is concerned he had an ideal upbringing. As I understand it, something went very wrong for him in his mid-teens and he has never been able to maintain friends since.

Indeed I have considered my own problems including codependency. I'm off to Womens' Aid to talk about what has happened and find a way forward.

That is good news. Move the focus of your life back to YOU.
Whatever you do to support him, it will NEVER be enough and NEVER be reciprocated.

Things are changing, albeit at a glacial pace. Yesterday my 12 year old daughter assaulted me in the supermarket and told me it was my fault and that I made her attack me. My husband condoned her attack saying I deserved it. He then launched a vicious character assassination on me. Then he sulked. Then he behaved as though nothing had happened.

My daughter photographed my injuries and helped to clean them up. She knows full well that she has done something very wrong and WA are going to help me to help her through this. It was as though she was acting through my husband.

That is an appalling lack of respect by both of them. I am truly shocked. Please get out now before your DC are damaged anymore and while you still have a chance to correct their behaviour. Fast forward a few years and your DD could be in prison.
If you believe this relationship is in anyway salvageable you are tragically deluded. I don't understand how can you continue to allow him to set this violent and toxic example to your DC.
This is a million miles from normal. Imagine if your H condoned your DD's behaviour while she happened to have a knife?

Things are changing, albeit at a glacial pace
You call the incident in the supermarket progress?
Dear God.
I fear you will be dead by the time your glacier moves.