I'm in a very complex situation at the moment. My partner and I have been together a year. He has MS and I have chronic illness also, this is how we met. I'm 31 he's 26. When we first met it was like love at first sight. I have had 2 serious relationships before and none were ever as intense as this.
Anyway, he did warn me he had problems with his mental health due to his MS. He also told me he had a history of drug abuse, driving convictions and gambling. Yes most people would run for the hills, but I was confident in myself, am independent in my finances etc and felt that he had a past and was no longer like this.
The whole time we have been together he hasn't touched a drug, driven dangerously or gambled.
However, something he does that really upsets me. Is his moods. I have never witnessed anyone being so full on before, he will do this for weeks/days....constant texts,wants to see me all the time, when we are together we plan the future, he will literally act besotted with me.
We recently broke up as I couldn't deal with his moods anymore and he took a fit of rage toward me one day. However, he had been under immense pressure due to various things going on with his health, I didn't help as I was constantly nit picking.
About a month later he asked if I'd see him. I did, we didn't have sex or anything just chatted. He sat and cried and told me I was the love of his life and he can't live without me so we decided to give it a go. TWO days later he tells me he cant do it as he can't get over the fact I went on ONE date with another guy whilst we split. Yet he kissed someone at a festival. Double standards. So I was heartbroken again,couldnt make out what was going on. I decided to block him on every thing.
Then last week he must have caught wind that I was off on holiday. He then emailed me from a new address.
Anyway, I went on holiday and he started basically begging me back, emailing constantly. When I got to the airport home, here is standing with a large bouquet of flowers and a sign saying "mrs "his surname". I was in shock but it did make me feel good. He said to me he wanted to make up for the way he had behaved in recent months and I was the love of his life and he wanted to be together. He had also been to see my mum and apologise to her. My dad was away working otherwise I dont think he would have done that.
I ended up accepting, much to some of my family and friends' dismay. We spent 3 days together this week. It was amazing and I just felt like we were completely in love and happy again. He sat and cried, looked me in the eye and said im never letting you go again and I'll never treat you badly again.
Past two days, he said he isn't feeling good with his MS. He has basically started to completely withdraw again. Texts are cold, dry and infrequent. I can sense the change immediately.
I do not know how someone can go so hot and cold with someone they love. I have witnessed his mood swings a lot and they scare me. He can literally despise his mother one day and then a week later say aw its just our relationship I love her really.
He changes his mind about lots of things very quickly. Sometimes I wonder if it is the MS, or borderline personality.
Other times I just think he clearly doesn't love me. If I say that to him he will say "how can u say that". Very odd.
I am sick of the anxiety that comes with him. Things can be amazing and intense, then boom....nothing! I feel as though it makes me crazy.
Please be kind and don't tell me I am just some mug. The relationship has been complex and I would have walked ages ago if I felt he wasn't worth it. Although I am very much at the stage where I am ready to walk now.