Imagine you were like 40 or something and someone popped up claiming to be your half-sib that you never knew existed...

[TheFoosAreYoungUpstarts]

What would you do/think/feel?

Happened to me at a much younger age. Don't think it makes a difference when it happens.
First - I didn't believe him.
Then it started making some sense. We met up. Talked.
Was interesting to see my father in him.

But - i realised - that having not grown up knowing about each other - makes it difficult to have a relationship.

Essentially - I was curious. And I don't regret knowing about half-brother, even if we are not close.

I'm not sure how I would feel about it, I wouldn't immediately feel that we had to be in each other's lives for example. Why do you ask? Are you the mystery sibling?

Happened to me about seven years ago.
Was a bit of a shock.

I have no idea. However, I am a 40 something year old with a half sibling who doesn't know I exist.

Thank you, Jos. Curious is exactly what I am - obvs I'm the sib that I don't think they know about, though.

If it makes a difference, I wasn't the child of an OW - my parents split when mum was pg and he met and married another woman v.quickly after.

I was the person that'popped up.' I was adopted at birth and tried to trace my birth family when I was in my thirties. My birth mum didn't want any contact so I contacted my birth sister (since found out she was my half sister). I don't have a great relationship with my adopted sister so I think that was my motivation. It didn't turn out great TBH.

Happened my half brother aged 36. I was aware of his existence but he had no idea that the man who brought him up was not his father. A nosy ex neighbour said something to one of his sisters like how Is your half brother and she told him. He was brought up in NY and I was brought up in Ireland.

Happened to me when my DF died. Found out I had a much younger half sibling. It was a lovely surprise to see my father in him.

Are you thinking of contacting your siblings? Go gently with low expectations - good luck!

Gently with low expectations sounds like excellent advice, happy :)

Yes I would like to get in touch, but I don't want to intrude. If I could get in touch with their mum to run it by her first, I would. How daft is that?

Bishop do you wish they'd stayed the feck away?

I have a half sib somewhere who would probably assume I wouldnt know about her. She is older and adopted at birth. Our mum went on to have DB and me, but has never told us. We found out through a freak coincidence when trying to get birth records for passports.

I'm not fussed either way. I respect her privacy and right to enjoy the life she has, she may not even know she was adopted. And DM must have gone through an awful lot. I don't want to cause her pain.

So if dsis pops up to say hello, that's fine by me. But I'm not desperate to find her.

We knew of each other's existence but never met until a few yrs ago. It's true, as we've not grown up together we'll never had the shared memories and bond that I gave with my full siblings but I do have a lovely close relationship and enjoyed getting know each other and families. I am happy to have him in my life and there is a definite connection and sibling love. At. Least if you try you won't have the "what ifs" yo worry about.

I'm an only child so I'd be quite happy if a sibling popped up out of the blue. I obviously have no sibling relationship to compare it to which would probably make things easier.

I'm an only too, Dear. I think it probably makes a difference :)

You should check out this post from a Dad wondering if he should tell his daughter.....

I would want to know if it was me by the way xx

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/2846673-Should-I-tell-my-daughter-she-has-a-half-sister-title-edited-by-MNHQ?pg=1&order=

I have a half sibling I first met as an adult. We get along really well, they're part of the family now. Good luck!!!

I would be very wary of someone from out of the blue showed up and said they were my half sibling. Personally, I would want a DNA test to prove it before I even considered letting them into my life.

I'm 50 something and have a half sibling who doesn't know that I exist. I will admit to having made attempts to track him down, but no joy.
I'd like to meet him as I have no other siblings and I'd love to learn more about my father and his side of my family abot which I know nothing. OTOH I know it would be an awful shock for him.

I'm with Aqua. I'm adopted and I know I have 3 older 1/2-siblings out there somewhere. But if I was contacted I would still want a DNA test. I have never attempted to contact them, but would expect the same thing from them.

I don't know if they know about me as I went directly to foster care after I was born and was adopted at 17 days old. The older 2 were certainly old enough to see and understand that our mother was pregnant.

I'd be overjoyed delighted to meet a long list sibling.

As long as they're not like my current siblings

Even if I didn't have the crappest siblings on the planet, I'd still be delighted to meet another one. Bring it on, I say.

A friend of mine has three full siblings who don't know he exists. The parents had him when they were very young and gave him up for adoption. They stayed together and had more children later. He has tried to contact his mother and she doesn't want to know. It's heartbreaking that he can't meet his blood family.
Doesn't answer the Op's question, sorry.

super :(

Im an only child in my late forties, and I have three half siblings that I've never met. My mum was the OW, I don't know if they know I exist. Obviously I would never look them up,but I wouldn't mind if they made friendly contact.

I'd want to meet you for a coffee. I wouldn't want you to come to my house initially, or meet my kids, I would want to check you out slowly and gradually.
Be prepared for rejection. The siblings you find may be conflicted around loyalty issues. It's hard because you've no way of knowing when a good time is. You sound quite cautious, which I think will serve you well. Good luck :)

I am an only and over 40. I would be over the moon. . .
Good luck op.