Help me with this situation please

[Poisongirl81]

My OH is generally ok he has had shouty outbursts but normally with alcohol. We are on holiday he is drinking every night and last night he started screaming at me woke up dd. We were both crying asking him to stop but he wouldn't.. .just kept going on and on about poor him I'm not paying him enough attentìon etc and screaming at me.

I don't know what to do!

Leave him he's an alcoholic and sounds like he could be dangerous

Do you really want to be with someone who at best can be described as "generally ok"?
Would you want your dd to be in a relationship like this in a few years?

It took one of these episodes on holiday when DD1 and I ended up on a sofa bed crying together, to LTB.

If you do, he will make it difficult, and obviously blame you for overreacting and breaking up the family etc etc.

You need to LTB though

Lovelillies yes that was us last night. I said plesse stop you are upsetting dd we were both crying. It just made him worse.. ..just because she wanted to sleep in my bed so I was leaving him out. He said today I've tipped him to it and I never pay him any compliments...why would I want to while he's like this. I can't be doing with another few days of this. How do I manage short term on this holiday?

He is good when sober great with kids etc. They aren't his kids btw. It's with alcohol which over here he's having every night.

What's LTB?

LTB - Leave the bastard

He thinks because they aren't his kids as he's looking after them he's doing me a massive favour I am guessing. I told him he should be ashamed of himself and does it make him feel the big man making a child cry and waking her up. He just stormed off.

How far are you from home, can you get you and the kids home sooner and what is the house situation? Yours/his/rented/mortgage?

Can you come home early or get a second room?

The house is owned by me so I could kick him out. He would have no where to go though apart from his parents at the other end of the country. His job is in my town. We are abroad so can't get home early.

A second room? Good idea maybe but to be honest we don't really have the spare cash for that ☹

Kick him out. Do it for you and your kids. If your sister or best friend was in this situation what would you tell her to do? This is very very bad for your kids and so what if he has no where to go, this is his fault.

Poor you If you feel in physical danger then you should leave immediately.

If you can have a quiet talk today - tell him how all of this makes you feel - and ask him to lay off the drink tonight, and if he can't or won't, then I reckon you have your answer.

How is he behaving this morning btw? Guilty or not? Tbh, him shouting in front of dc is completely unacceptable but him being drunk every night with or without dc is horrible too.

If they're not his kids none of you will ever have to see him again. Please look after yourself and them

The house is owned by me so I could kick him out. He would have no where to go though apart from his parents at the other end of the country. His job is in my town.

He didn't seem to worry about you so much when he is drinking and shouting at you.

Please please please for the sake of your children leave this man.

You must put them first!

Poor kids having to listen to that, what an absolute cunt.

Kick him out. Your children must come first.

Don't tell him you are throwing him out until you are safe and back home.

If alcohol makes someone an arse then they have the option to choose not to drink. Stop making excuses for him and stop letting him make excuses for himself. Why would you continue to expose yourself and your DD to his shiteness? Kick him out and don't look back.

Op you say he has shout outbursts but normally with alcohol. Presumably that means sometimes he has shouty outbursts when he's stone cold sober

Do not allow this alcy to damage your kids, that is out or order and who wants to be on holiday with a man that drinks every night, what a bloody turn off but yet you've to service him, no.

I will have a word later ask him to not drink so much tonight will let you know what he says. Yeah I don't make him feel wabted. He snores so much so I have been asking him to sleep in the kids room here. That's un reasonable apparently