Divorce

[Jmat1]

I went to mediation to be told my estranged husband wants 40% of the equity in my house. I had the property before the relation, paid the mortgage during the relationship and financially supported him during the relationship. Surely this can't be right!
What advice can you give?

You need legal advice, OP - it will be worth the investment.

Only 40%?

Do you have children? How long have you been married, did you co-habit prior to marriage if so for how long?

He said he can claim 50% but will settle for 40.
I'm seeking legal advice but couldn't get an immediate appointment. Thought others might have similar experiences and be able to offer some guidance.

Gather your paperwork together, showing mortgage payments, original purchase, etc, and get yourself a SHL.

We don't have children together mine are grown up with a previous partner

So what would you expect if it were the other way around (as many marriages are)?

I doubt you'd have shrugged your shoulders and walked away from (not even) half the marital assets on the basis that he'd bought the place before you married and then supported you after.

What is a SHL?

Shit Hot Lawyer. They just mean get someone good.

I'd expect a fair outcome.

Shit hot lawyer

I was able to prove that I had paid the mortgage for ten years, whilst he accumulated secret debt. I walked away with the house (mortgaged but with equity) and he kept his credit cards. It was a battle though as they are entitled to it all, credits and debts, being put in a pit and split in half regardless.

Lol. I like the sound of a SHL. Could you recommend one?

Get a good solicitor!

While my divorce was amicable, exH and I are expats and - although we got married in the UK - local divorce laws applied. I was set to lose half of my pension because he didn't have one and was to foot the entire tax bill for the year as my income was significantly higher than his.

Thanks to our lovely local lawyer, we got the judge to sign off on a declaration essentially saying I'd paid my dues by feeding and housing him through our university days.

You really need a professional for that kind of thing, though.

And what would you think was a fair outcome in the reversed circumstances?

Bear in mind, if you're the higher earner, that the legal costs could end up coming out of the combined assets - his costs and yours - before the rest is split. Unless there's a LOT of money at stake it may be better to try and reach an agreement you can live with in mediation.

We were together for about 18 years married for 7 before he left. He was very abusive during this time which increased towards the end of the relationship.
I had hoped his unreasonable behaviour would go in my favour now

I don't believe I was the higher earner. It was simply I took the financial responsibility.

This has been happening to men for decades. Welcome to the real world. Equal rights and all that.

I was in the same situation. He cannot touch any equity you had before the relationship but he can have 50% of what equity you accrued during the marriage, it makes no difference whatsoever who paid the mortgage.
I went to a shit hot solicitor costing £250 an hour and he said that's the law. You need proof of what equity you had before you met him.
It's fucking outrageous and you must be feeling disgusted and angry.
I hope to God you had lots of equity before you got married I really do.
This is the reason prenup agreements are so very important, they are not romantic but then neither are divorces, I urge all property owning women to get one.
The only way you can get a bigger settlement is if you are ill, very ill i.e cancer, might have to end up in a wheelchair, chronic health problem.

Not helpful Mr... I got a woman SHL. Not saying this is true in all cases, but I think she 'got' that women often (not always) make the career sacrifices when children are involved, which impacts them financially.

I just saw you were only married for 7 years so I really don't think he will get that much tbh. Also it depends if the mortgage was in joint names before and after you got married.

I was told that sometimes over time, previously owned-property become 'historical property' (?) and may not revert to the original owner. In the event, mine came back to me, with the assets split from the point at which we were together.

That's a reasonably long relationship. You definitely need to get some legal advice but I'd be surprised if he wasn't entitled to claim 50% of the combined assets as a clean split.

I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure that abuse won't make any difference to the financial split. Was it ever reported to the Police?

That is, married (together)