Divorce

[Jmat1]

I went to mediation to be told my estranged husband wants 40% of the equity in my house. I had the property before the relation, paid the mortgage during the relationship and financially supported him during the relationship. Surely this can't be right!
What advice can you give?

Unfortunately, bad behaviour does not impact on the financials.

Yes only married for 7 years. Mortgage was always in my sole name. Do you think this will make a difference?

" I urge all property owning women to get one." Presumably, you'd also urge property owning men to get one too?

I didn't think prenups carried much weight under U.K. law anyway. I've certainly seen reports about divorce cases where the judge has happily disregarded them in this country.

There was police intervention. On 1 occasions he was charged and had to do cummunity service. After the split, there was further intervention, the police believe he was 'stalking' me and treated it very seriously.

Did you co-habit directly prior to marrying, if you did those years will count as well as the 7 you were actually married.

It's going to be complex you need professional legal advice for all the circumstances.

If he's asking for 40% I would try and negotiate down to 20 and see if there is a compromise without going to court...

It's really shocking to think you could marry someone in all good faith and them turn violent and when you finally divorce them you have to pay them off.

I agree with you ImperialBlether. I think it's a crazy system. This man is an alcoholic and will probably end up drinking my hard earned cash!

well i will get slated for this but.......

Just transfer the property into a family members name and act like an idiot, seems to work for them!

Definitely don't try to do the right thing.

Someone i know i is today a multimillionairess as a result of a 5 year marriage in the 90's with no children. She didnt even give up a career as she never had one to start with. Not fair them or now. But plenty of people still marry for money

Donners312: do you have experience in this? It sounds tempting if it means I can keep my home.

I don't have any money! I just work hard for an small wage. If ex takes half of equity out of the property, I won't be able to afford the mortgage payments

But surely he could (if anything) only take out 40-50% of the equity that it gained over the time you were married?

Invest in a good solicitor tomorrow, OP. It'll be worth it.

The equity won't be taken in terms of the LTV when you transfer the mortgage into your own name, if you can afford to just give him a lump sum.

Please explain what LTV means. The mortgage has always been in my sole name.

You say you can't afford the mortgage if he takes the equity? Is that because you think the payments will change? Loan to value is the value of the house vs how much mortgage you owe. It is lower if you have more equity.

My point is, the equity remains the same from the point of view of the mortgage lenders so the payment shouldn't change, unless you are needing to borrow to pay him off.

Hope that makes sense.

Yes this does make sense and I would need to borrow to pay him off.

If you are currently still in mediation, do some workings out that will show him how much equity he is asking for vs the cost of this if it ends up in court needing solicitors and how much of the equity he would end up keeping as a result. Also, who has the biggest pension - you could offer not to touch his pension if you get to keep the equity. You can bargain, it doesn't have to be straight splits of everything.

and financially supported him during the relationship

Agree with pp to get a good solicitor. The point about financially supporting him could possibly mean he is entitled to some percentage of your home / income depending on what you mean by that support.

Good luck.