Heartbroken - split with lovely boyfriend.

[littlewoollypervert]

With him just over a year, went to France to meet his folks in January, met his daughter (18) and ex two weeks ago. Don't live together but I thought as he's just out of a 20 year marriage it would be slow. We hadn't seen each other properly since I met his family as we've both been really busy with work so went for a walk this morning, he says he doesn't really miss me when we are apart and that the feelings of love aren't developing for him. Devastated. He will pick up the few bits he has in the house next week while I'm not there (I asked him to come while I'm out). I was going to take two kittens from his ex's cat's litter but don't know if I can now - will they remind me of him?

Little tabby, she was smallest in litter. Black boy, you cant see in pic but he has dark brown tabby stripes that you can only see in the sun. Thinking of calling them Tom and Barbara (The Good Life) as we had just put in a veg patch. Wavering now...

They're gorgeous! Take the kittens. Who knows you might strike up an unlikely friendship with his ex!

A boy and a girl - how lovely! You could call them Margot and Jerry instead.

She was actually very nice! He never said a bad word about her (so the opposite of a red flag there). I have his stuff in boxes in the hall. Considering a letter too. Not a long one - just a "wish you well, but don't contact me, I need to heal" message as I do genuinely wish him well (but not with anyone else!!).

I like Margot and Jerry too.

Take the kittens. You will still love them for many years after you have stopped thinking about this guy.

I do feel your pain OP. I thought my OH was pretty perfect but over the last couple of weeks I feel like my blinkers have come off and I feel totally confused of what to do. Like you I get the sense I'm more into it than him. I'm thinking of ending things as a means of self preservation really but I don't know if it would be a mistake. The thought of not seeing him again hurts like hell but it's what I'd have to do for my own sake. And I'd get the kittens

It is a sad fact that nice blokes split with you in a nice, honourable way, leaving you feeling even more regretful. It's somehow easier if they do it in a horrible way because you're left feeling that at least you're better off without the bastard.

They'll be a constant reminder of a man that didn't love you.

Why put yourself through that?

Just get two kittens from another litter, there's always plenty around. Why get a constant reminder that will be with you for the next 10+ years when it's so easy to get an alternative?

Get the kittens! He's not a bastard - it's just really sad for you.

Take the kittens, at last some good came from it then.

Not sure why the kittens would remind you of him. He never owned them, they will have their own little personalities,

We've always had cats, but the ones who hold a special place in our hearts were two brothers, one tabby, the other black, so I admit to being biased. Good luck with whatever you decide though.

If you think the kittens might remind you of him or of an unhappy time, go to a rescue centre and pick out 2 other kittens instead. Let's face it, there's never going to be a shortage of people who allow their pets to breed.

Get the kittens.

God I'm really on the fence now! Ill have to text him tonight to tell his ex to keep them for me & for him to pass my number along. Might put it in drafts so that i can send it at a touch of a button (and word and re-word it carefully)

Take the kittens. my puppy was bought for me by a vile creep who ended up harassing me, the puppy does not remind me of him though I love the puppy.

Take the kittens, you are already emotionally attached. You can cry into their soft fur for a little while and then laugh at their antics.

I hope you heal soon and will build on having had a lovely relationship.

Text drafted. Totally focusing on the kitten decision - in denial about the rest. Just found his gardening boots in the shed, they are now in the box in the hall. I've a nice photo of us in the hall, now going to switch it for an un-tear-jerking landscape.

Text sent. Now going to tidy the shed. Can't sit still.

Lots of hugs xxx

Thank you all for the lovely messages x

Whilst the kittens may remind you of him initially I reckon in time they'll become 'your cats' if you know what I mean. I would definitely still go for them, by the way they're super cute.

As for the break-up, sorry to hear. It's never easy at first but it does get easier with time, even if it a cliché it's still true. onwards and upwards!

It's not the kittens' fault your ex split with you. Aw! I guarantee that after just a few days with them you'll not even connect him to them.

Just hope he doesn't think me asking him to pass my nu.ber to his ex is stalker-ey - I just don't want to have to deal with him to get them (even though I'd love to stay in touch with him, it would just prolong the heartbreak).