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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is my boyfriend in the right ?

62 replies

JanetN23rt · 25/06/2017 01:03

I'm sorry for asking here but I just needed other people's (women's) advice.
Basically me and my boyfriend have been together a month or so now, and everything is great.
He's perfect, caring, smart, great in bed (finally found a giver) and funny as hell. I do not have a problem what so ever, however yesterday, he came over to my house, he usually does on the weekend but this was different as I haven't seen him all week. It was going great untill I go upstairs without telling him, and I message my ex because he was feeling a bit blue. My boyfriend comes upstairs and in a sarcastic tone said "glad you're focusing on your ex". To me, it sounded rude so I threw my phone and kept staring at him saying "I can't have friends? Fine."
He said "that's not what I meant" but I didn't care and I stormed downstairs. We made up a few minutes later (as we always do), but to me it sounded like he was being an ass.
I know that I take him for granted as all he wants us to look after me and i'm truly a moody bitch, and I love him to bits as he's the only boyfriend that genuinely cares about me and not sex, I'm the one who always has to initiate it (he might be asexual ?), nonetheless I dont know if I should apologise to him and make it up to him.. I go mardy atleast once a day and he doesn't give up, he just laughs or smiles or calls me pretty and a few minutes later I'm not mardy anymore.
I should probably note that since his best friend kissed me, he's been a bit more strict on me seeing other guys. Like I was going to get a nipple piercing, accompanied by this guy I know my whole life and he was a bit jealous though he didn't tell me. Any tips on how not to be moody???

OP posts:
TheoriginalLEM · 25/06/2017 01:09

so your bf comes round after not seeing you all week and you fuck off upstairs and message your ex? You kiss hus best friend?

are you 14?

tbh hes better off finding someone who is interested in him and you might want to grow up

PhoenixJasmine · 25/06/2017 01:11

Right first off, you've been together a month, so there's no 'usually' or 'as you always do'. There simply isn't; you don't know each other very well yet. You know what the other person has shown you of themselves, and the rest you have made up yourself of the kind of person you want them to be/hope they are. Even if you knew him as a friend first. You need to realise this and take it easy, don't emotionally invest so much this early on.

You both sound very young and like a lot of hard work. Far too much drama for any of this to be healthy.

Why do you think you are moody?

Aquamarine1029 · 25/06/2017 01:12

This relationship is ONE MONTH old and it's already plagued with ridiculous drama. I think you need to step back and take some time to objectively reevaluate things.

importanceofhappiness · 25/06/2017 01:13

You sound very young.

If you have anger issues that are affecting your relationship then I suggest you see a therapist.

FidgetSpinner · 25/06/2017 01:15

You sound tiresomely and immature. One month...sheesh....

Italiangreyhound · 25/06/2017 01:20

OP I think you need to work on your own interpersonal skills and stop being 'mardy' once a day.

"Any tips on how not to be moody???"

I think you need to work out what sort of image you want to show to the world and then work towards it. We all get angry and fed up at times but you need to realise other people are noting thing and may well feel you are too much hard work.

The idea you are going to get your nipple pierced and take another guy (who?) with you sounds odd, to me, and painful to boot!

The fact you know your ex was blue suggested you were in contact with him during the week you were not seeing your boyfriend. So I kind of understand him being miffed.

Throwing your phone at your boyfriend is a definite no-no. What if it had hit him!

I am sorry but I really think you need to work out how you want to relate to people.

Italiangreyhound · 25/06/2017 01:21

Plus totally agree with PhoenixJasmine.

And importanceofhappiness "If you have anger issues that are affecting your relationship then I suggest you see a therapist."

If you were throwing things at me I would not feel very amorous either!

PossibiliTea · 25/06/2017 01:21

If my DP went upstairs to text his ex instead of spending time with me after not seeing me the whole week.... I wouldn't be best pleased.

Dibbles1967 · 25/06/2017 01:25

I get why your bf was irritated about you texting your ex, even if he is now a friend. If that were the case, why didn't you just say to bf "I just have to fire off a text to xxx as he's feeling down" then tell ex you're with your bf so can't keep communicating. Do this in FRONT of your boyfriend, if you have to do it all.

You need to think about why you have a short fuse & if you get moody with him every day, he's maybe just not right for you.

pigyoinkoinks · 25/06/2017 01:26

This can't be real?? Confused

HeddaGarbled · 25/06/2017 01:29

You have been dating for one month. You cannot possibly love him to bits in this time. You hardly know him. Plus you think he's asexual!

Your behaviour is bad. Messaging your ex upstairs when your very new boyfriend is visiting, throwing your phone, storming downstairs, mardy at least once a day. You don't deserve a boyfriend if you treat him like that. Grow up.

PickAChew · 25/06/2017 01:29

new relationship (yes, 1 month is new) and you're talking to your ex in private.

Of course your BF will be questioning whether you're as serious as you claim.

You have 3 options

  1. be single for a bit.
  2. Claim to be faithful and stick to it by the minute and metre.
  3. Be honest about not being emotionally exclusive, even if you don't want sex from anyone else.
PointlessUsername · 25/06/2017 01:30

All sounds too much like hard work.

MoodyOne · 25/06/2017 01:31

Oh OP!
He sounds lovely!
On the anger side of it could you try seeing things from his point of view.
You haven't seen him all week, and you then went upstairs to text you ex? If you had nothing to hide why not do it on the sofa I front of him?
You want to take another man with you for your nipple pierced? Did you ask him to go with you?
You get moody once a day? We all get in a bad mood and irritated... have you tried yoga or such ? It really helps me relax at times x

Glastokitty · 25/06/2017 01:33

You sound like an immature attention seeker. The nipple piercing with another bloke, stropping off to message your ex, being a moody cow on a daily basis! If you are over 17 I suggest you need to grow up a bit.

sobeyondthehills · 25/06/2017 01:46

How would you feel if he buggered off to another room to text his ex?

sobeyondthehills · 25/06/2017 01:48

have just reread his best friend kissed you? As in a snog? on the cheek?

AlexaAmbidextra · 25/06/2017 01:50

You need to grow up Miss Mardy Once A Day. Do this guy a favour and finish with him so he can find himself a rational grown-up to have a relationship with.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 25/06/2017 01:50

Do your parents know that you behave like this?

indigox · 25/06/2017 01:59

You're hard work, he'd be better off without you.

We made up a few minutes later (as we always do)

It's been a month, why are you "always" fighting to have to make up?!

PerspicaciaTick · 25/06/2017 02:01

Sounds like he deserves so much more from a relationship. Poor lad.

TheStoic · 25/06/2017 02:06

This entire thing is made up. At least try to make it interesting.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 25/06/2017 02:11

It's all a bit 0-60 in 30 seconds.
Slow down

georgjensen · 25/06/2017 02:19

You are male? How old are you?

C0untDucku1a · 25/06/2017 02:22

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