Engaged but feel like my friends don't care

[eirrah]

I know this is going to sound very self centred but I need to get it off my chest.

I got engaged last week and I am obviously absolutely over the moon. I am so, so happy and so are our families. However, apart from the congrats texts, none of my friends seem to care at all and haven't asked me any questions or anything. Other girls I know, they've had cards and congrats from friends and have been asked all sorts about their weddings. Me, nothing. It's upset me a bit to think my friends don't care, and today I went out to buy gifts to ask my bridesmaids but it's made me question if I should have them. If I don't, it'll cause fall outs, but I just feel so deflated by them.

Sorry to rant but I had to get it off my chest as it's upset me quite a bit. I have more excitement from Facebook friends :/

Congratulations!

This thread got me thinking about engagements and how they're getting bigger.
When I was engaged I joined a wedding board and there were threads from women annoyed that their man had 'ruined the proposal' by not having a photographer or vidieogrpaher, that he proposed in the house which shows how little he cares and lots of "poor me now it's totally embarassing when I have to tell my proposal story to people at our massive pinterest worthy engagement party"

I wonder if people carrying on like that makes other people feel snubbed because they see others doing all this fuss and suddenly the sincere congratulations of friends and family feels a let down.

I can't imagine being giddy whatsoever over a friends engagement, I'd say congrats and maybe a card if I saw a nice one.

You sounds like very hard work and maybe they are keeping low key so that they don't have to hear talk of the wedding non stop. Bridezillas are utterly boring and test most friendships.

Times change.
We didn't have gender reveal parties , bridal showers or baby showers.
Therefore engagement parties were all people had except for the wedding day celebrations and then maybe a christening.

I thought celebrating engagements was out of date. I haven't been to an engagement party for decades. Traditionally Young people used to have a big party as they would be preparing for setting up home together and would get lots of presents. These days couples mostly already live together when they get engaged (as in start talking about marriage and setting a date.)

MasyPops you speak a lot of sense and I am totally with you.

It does feel very "look at me"

Sorry OP, I think YABU.

Lol cantseethewoods totally agree with you!

i agree with others. A congratulations would seem to me to be the correct response to an announcement, and that's what you got

If you want them to make more of a fuss, you'll have to create the circumstance for that to happen - a night out for instance

Friend of mine posted a photo of her engagement ring on facebook. I 'liked' it. Job done.

I'm in the Engagements Are Superfluous camp personally. But am perfectly happy to congratulate others. Or like their facebook announcement. IMO anything else is OTT.

I am also cynical about wedding-related stuff. It really should be about you and your partner. About your relationship and your marriage. It's not a show, not a chance for approval or affirmation from others

MaisyPops I agree with everything you say. Social Media has a lot to answer for.

People send engagement cards?

What Trollspoopglitter said.

Engagement parties were pretty common when I was a kid in the 70s.
But the couples were usually very young (late teens) and living at home.
The engagement party would be given by the parents.

It was a very different time with very different expectations of marriage.
It was part of the 'losing a daughter but gaining a son' and giving permission for the girl to marry culture.

Cross post with Love

Ooops not a cross post as you said it an hour before me.

I find this bizarre. If I announced to my friends I was engaged it wouldn't cross my mind to expect cards or fuss in the first week - surely all that is for the wedding preperations?

What we're you actually expecting OP?

Yeah, engagement is a nice thing if you've you're one of the two people involved but, to most people a Facebook like or a text is job done & get on with the rest of your day. Nothing changed legally being engaged or emotionally however, when you actually get married which is an actual significant event, I'm sure people will acknowledge it accordingly

Sorry OP, YABU. People have very busy lives. Your engagement is a big deal for you and DP, not so much for others.

Op I get where you're coming from. I remember when I got engaged I was the first of my friends- like you, I got texts and that was it. When I next saw them I thought they would excitedly ask to see my ring but it didn't occur to them until about an hour into the meet up! These were my best friends and I definitely felt disappointed that they weren't as excited as I was.
But I totally get it now. It's really exciting for the couple and their family but for friends it's just momentary "oh that's lovely"! Then they go back to their normal lives! I'm pretty much the same now, but I do remember that feeling of disappointment so I do send a card to a close friend.