Feeling he is being secretive

[Happyfoodie50]

My partner I are in a long term relationship and both have our own homes although we stay over at weekends. It's easier as we both have teenagers living at home.
I have always had trust issues with him since I caught him secretly meeting up with a former work colleague when she moved away and left work.I still don't know whether he stayed over at hers.He gets on very well with all the females he works with and I often find exchanges on his mobile. He does loads of favours for them as well like collecting office equipment from their houses or givibg them lifts. He never talks about this , I only know as I snoop. You would think he had no work friends but in fact the opposite is true. The other day I offered to pick him up as car was being serviced but he said Cathy from work is coming to get him because he had to pop back into work. Honestly it sounds very petty but it makes me feel like shit and not part of his life.I think the reason is he can be quite critical of me but when I protest he gets really defensive. I can spot when he's spending time with other women as he'll mention something only women discuss. He makes me paranoid.I have tried to call it a day but then he gets really upset and wants our relationship to work but continues his behaviour. I really don't care if he's friendly with his work colleagues but he seems to go over the top and why the secrecy. I only started getting upset when he told me he was working away and then found out he'd met up with this woman and took her out for lunch and didn't mention it. I wasn't even aware he was that close to her. He was working with a younger women but she has now left but he mentioned she had a lot of work equipment at home. I then spotted a pile of stuff in his garage and it was only when I asked did he say he had been round to her house to collect it. she could have taken it back into the office herself. I would point out he does very little to help me and that's why I'm envious of this attention .if I even bring up how I feel he gets defensive and shuts the conversation down.

I don't wish to out you and you can tell me to mind my own business but can I ask what kind of work he is involved him which requires office equipment and work stuff to end up at female colleagues houses and why he needs to take a female colleague on a work trip?

It all sounds dodgy to me. It really does.

Talking to female work colleagues about your relationship is shitty.

Do block him: he's bad news.

He's a sales manager and the team are all women.He works away from home at conferences as sells medical equipment.They store all their conference materials at their houses and so when she was going to move to another team he went round to her house to collect it.Maybe I'm feeling insecure but feel she could have met him at work place.He can be overly nice and maybe offered to collect it saving her the trouble but i noticed he was there awhile so wasn't just picking stuff up.i constantly feel threatened.I suppose reading back I'm just feeling insecure and he doesn't seem to make any effort with me.I think thats the crux of the matter.

Did you respond or are you still nc? Hope it's the latter and you're spending your weekend in better company OP.