Remind me why it's a bad idea to contact OW

[ExpatTrailingSpouse]

Have been getting the urge more and more lately, especially as he's never admitted to DTD with OW. Just need to be reminded why it's a bad idea.

Don't. Former flatmate used to shag married men and if a wife rang her up ranting she would have a good laugh about it.

No, I would concur you are best off out of that... how could you trust anything he has ever said or will say in the future if he changes his mind with the weather like that?
Sorry op

So I have a question, would you let OW accidentally know that the man she thinks is her "knight is shining armour" from her selfish husband has some questionable friends on a certain social media site?

loopy - I don't think I quite get what you mean? (About the questionable friends on social media). I think contact with OW has to be carefully thought through. Does it benefit you in any way to get in touch with her?

In my case, the benefit would be confirming that they dtd and that he's still lying, which would provide a form of closure for me. The downside is always of course OW has no reason to tell the truth to me or even respond to me. In which case that makes me a fool.

nigelsbigface - exactly. Why is it my job to determine which bits are truth and which bits are lies? Basically my default now is that he has lied about everything and continues to do so.

Expat - women who post pictures of themselves not wearing very much!!!

He is never gonna admit it, that's that. If something went on that is.

As for the OW, she didn't write you any vows op. While her behaviour is shady to say the least, she hasn't broken up your family. He did that when/if he decided to shag her. The mark of a good man is when a women could be naked at his feet begging for it and he goes home to his wife. Also, if it wasn't her it would have been someone else. She is partially to blame, yes. But he is the id who decide to do it.

I'd ignore, even if OW provides you with coloured HD images of them doing the dead, he will still only give you as much 'truth' as he can get away with. You know something like "we were walking through reception, the floor was wet and I slipped and landed in her vagina" you will never ever get the full truth - both have been dishonest. You need to cut your losses. It'll be easier once your not living together playing happy families.

good luck with your operation op