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Original poster

Messaging new guy

73 replies

Fireandflames666 · 18/06/2017 16:41

I met someone at an event two weeks ago and we've been in contact everyday since. However I've only been with one person prior to this (thirteen year relationship) and I'm finding it hard to work out whether he's interested as a friend or otherwise.

A fair few nights we've messaged in to the early hours talking about life, our issues and previous relationships. He messages me with problems asking for advice as well.

He's mentioned after a drink that he'd like to meet up, that I've a cute voice, that I'm attractive etc. But he hasn't asked any other time so i haven't pushed the point.

Help!?

OP posts:
cakecakecheese · 23/06/2017 09:32

Reply with 'and what's wrong with that? Wink '

I'm hoping it was just an odd way of telling you he'd want something to happen. It was phrased quite badly. If he replies with more oddness or gets vague again I would just take it that he doesn't want anything more than messages and try and move on.

Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 09:42

Ok OP, that's just weird. Try what cake said and see what he comes back with.

Is he definitely single?

Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 09:43

Is he shy normally?

AutumnRose1988 · 23/06/2017 10:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maras2 · 23/06/2017 12:19

He's married or gay.
Did anyone else have to google cosplay? Blush

Littlelondoner · 23/06/2017 12:22

Is he generaly a bit socially awkward and not good with words?

Things dont always translate as well in text.

I would just text back "and is that a problem?"

Original poster
Fireandflames666 · 23/06/2017 13:26

I asked him what he meant and he replied with this

"Meaning I just want females as friends but Alcohol and having a laugh gets me flirty then in trouble lol"

He's definitely not with anyone. His last girlfriend was a bit of a psycho (tried to cut him, cut herself when he split with her). So i think i understand where he's coming from. Think he may be a bit scared actually.

However again, Messaging me straight away today. So that's over two weeks messaging constant, lol.

OP posts:
Littlelondoner · 23/06/2017 13:51

Sounds to me like he is still bruised / wary of women. So taking back burner.

But he obviously likes you from his actions but trying to manage you exspectations.

If I was you I would just cool it down a bit and go with the flow with no exspectations. (That way can't/won't get hurt).

Original poster
Fireandflames666 · 23/06/2017 14:09

Yeah, i have no expectations. I've been going with the flow so far, so whatever happens or doesn't happen at least I'll have a good friend :).

OP posts:
Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 15:48

Hmm tricky one. Just keep it in friend terms for now. He may eventually come round.

Grin@maras

Original poster
Fireandflames666 · 23/06/2017 18:59

"I'd meet ya but gotta stay local or I'll not be up for comic con lol prbly end up down town"

I'm sorry what?..... Did someone have a change of heart?. What is this?, lol.

Shame i can't go as i have my little guys home this weekend.

OP posts:
BatFacedGirl · 23/06/2017 19:11

He sounds like a bit of a freak to me. You're alright to call when pissed or to message with all his issues but he doesn't fancy you. Quite fancies stringing you along though

He's not interested OP. Don't tell yourself he's 'shy.' If you take this further then he'll be giving you the run around non stop

user1490465531 · 23/06/2017 19:16

surprised your still interested TBH he seems to be stringing you along I wouldn't entertain him.

Original poster
Fireandflames666 · 23/06/2017 19:18

I said no, i just think it's hilarious. Where have all the good men gone sings.

OP posts:
Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 20:10

Is he saying he can't meet you this weekend because he's got a comic con he needs to get up for in the morning? It seems like he just wants the company of females (nothing wrong with that) without the potential heartache that goes with being in a relationship.

I think you may have been 'friend zoned' OP. There's plenty more fish in the sea. Just practice all your flirting on this guy with the comfort that you won't get hurt. When Mr Right comes along you'll have practiced Wink

Teepish · 23/06/2017 20:38

Did he tell you his last girlfriend "was a bit of a psycho"? alarm bells

I'd start winding the late night convos down.

whatsallthisthenn · 23/06/2017 21:00

He sounds like hard work and also very weird. Don't make excuses for him he's not shy! He's playing you

Original poster
Fireandflames666 · 23/06/2017 21:17

Thanks guys. And yeah he's going to. A. Convention in the morning so that bit is legit.

And no, it's a well known thing amongst people we both know about his past girlfriend being nuts. That's true.

Well I'm easy. I don't know how he works, so I'm not jumping to conclusions. It's nice talking for now. But I've taken steps back, he's sending me messages still now.

OP posts:
StealthNinjaMum · 23/06/2017 21:28

Sorry but I think he sounds like a dick. if I met a man who I got on really well with I wouldn't be sending frequent jokey, friendly texts and suggesting drinks because I would be worried that he'd get the wrong idea and if I wanted to be his friend I wouldn't want that. (Especially if he had just ended a long term relationship and wasn't that experienced with relationships.) So he's being over friendly, suggesting drinks, turning you down and now asking you again? I would ignore him and find someone who really likes you and communicates that.

Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 22:11

He sounds very confusing Confused

How many messages a day are we talking? Every few hours? Every hour? Every few minutes? Reason I ask is because I'm finding it strange that he wants to be in contact so much (not cause of anything you've done OP). It crossed my mind maybe there's other female friends he texts a lot too. But if he's texting you so much he surely wouldn't have time to be texting other women Hmm not without tripping up over what he's saying and sending texts to the wrong person iyswim.

That was really hard to type what I meant Blush

Original poster
Fireandflames666 · 23/06/2017 22:26

It'd literally most of the day until the early hours. It's very confusing. God knows 😑

OP posts:
Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 22:33

Gahhhh sounds exhausting Confused

Original poster
Fireandflames666 · 23/06/2017 22:47

Yes it is!. He's just sent a video of himself. Singing, lol. Yep... Taking steps back. Eeep.

OP posts:
Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 23:20

O....k..... he sounds lonely

Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 23:25

If he makes you feel uncomfortable Fire just remember you're not obliged to respond to him.

I dated a guy once who text me constantly. The most I recall getting was 12 texts in a row! I didn't have time to read and respond to the first one let alone the rest. Difference is he was super keen on me. Too keen. I felt like I couldn't breathe after a while, it got too much. I tried the whole letting him down gently, he protested and ended up texting loads. So I was a bit firmer, not rude but straight and to the point. He got nasty. I ended up telling him to F off and that if he text me one more time I'd block him. Cue absolute cuntish text messages from him. In the end I got my male friend to call him up and pretend he was my new bf and to back off. That worked Smile

Point being he might nice and little bit odd now but he may be hiding an ugly interior. Who knows?

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