help

[user1497646537]

Okay, The subject is a little dramatic, and not mumsy at all!

But I need help from people all over the world, to try and let the man I love know I love him and why. We have had such a hard time lately, we've moved out of our home and are living apart. But we both love eachother and just moved into things too young too fast. I want to make things work, but he's had people telling him that it'll never work.

I want to ask him on a date, and I want to make a video with a compilation of people taking pictures of themselves holding a sign with 1 reason I love him on, take it with the view of your location, or as a selfie! Up to you. And I want to caption it with where you're from and I want to get hundreds! Just to show him the lengths i'd go to to show him I care. So much so I'd let the whole world know. i don't care if you're up the road or in china! I really need your help girls.

Let me know if you want to help and I will give you my email and let you know what I want you to write for me

I don't understand.

Are you with this man or are you trying to get him to date you?

Sorry, tried to exit and pressed post.

Do you really think lots of total randoms holding up signs is going to get you back together? It won't address any of your issues.

Hmm. Sounds like a bad movie plot.

What does "one reason I love you, from Tunbridge Wells" even mean?

Give it up love. It ain't gonna happen. Total strangers aren't going to knit your relationship together again. Only the 2 of you can do that.

Oh god I'd cringe if my boyfriend did that.
It's all a bit grand gesture and meaningless too, I'm afraid. It doesn't show love at all - it shows drama.
Sorry to piss on your bonfire but it just sounds like a terrible idea. It does nothing to address whatever issues you have that have caused you to split up.

Well, i'd seen someone do it online once saying "Soandso loves you so much it reached insert location'' and it was very cute!

I'm tired of talking, we need time apart, which we now have. And I want to start going on dates and acting like a couple again... But I don't just want to go into it, I wanted to make a big cute gesture.

We were together for years, then we drifted apart, stopped doing things together and barely spent time together outside the house. But when we did we were bestfriends and got along like when we first met. I just want to do something that will make him feel special. And like I'm ready to get the spontaneity back.

Grand gestures are easy though. They're meaningless.

I think you've got totally unrealistic expectations about what this stunt will do for your relationship. Who really cares that someone they've never met sent a picture to their partner? Dh knows I love him and it's not even on Facebook. If you need to do something like this to start up your relationship, you're really not in a good place.

Honestly, it just sounds cringeworthy at best and possibly insane. He may be very creeped out or go into hiding or get a restraining order against you... I can't see anyone being anything but creeped out or embarrassed.

Love doesn't need grand gestures. If you can't communicate with each other and both don't want to be together then it's not love. If he wants you, he won't want to stay away from you. Unless you make and send him that video...

This isn't spontaneous though is it?

Sweep him off his feet without Tunbridge Wells getting a look in.

I'm in an extremely desperate place right now, we don't do public displays of affection, we aren't on facebook, don't share photo's together and i rarely discuss our relationship to people (hence me having to come on sites like this).

I don't want to sit down and talk it out, I feel like that'll just push him away. I know we need time apart but I just wanted to do something nice for him.

Some people just don't work well together as a couple. You can't make 2+2 = 10

Best to walk away and treasure the good memories

Will he think this is something nice for him though? It looks desperate and if you're feeling desperate that doesn't sound like your relationship is in a good place.

How have things been left with you? A big gesture like this won't mean you won't have to talk any more or fix what's wrong.

I've learnt that life isn't as simple as "if you want to be together, be together." He needs time apart and as do i, I love him very much but since the moment we met we haven't been apart.
It's nice to get to know yourself again as one person- not a ''couple''.

This might be a perfect example of how an idea on social media works in real life? Looks good on facebook but when you go to do it in real life you're getting carted away in a straight jacket.

How would he react to it?

Personally I would hate it.

What caused you both to need tone apart? Do you think he wants to get back together? It sounds from your posts that it might just be you.

We left things in a "lets go back to our parents, have time apart, and gradually start building things back. We'll each save money for a new house, we'll each find ourselves again, and start going back out on dates etc. No seeing other people and always say we love eachother before bed.''

It's like we're trying to restart things.

That doesn't usually happen in healthy relationships. What caused you to effectively split up?

He still loves me, but really needed time to himself and to see his friends and be a young man again.

But he's made it clear that its not the end of us, he's very paranoid we won't get back together and likes to stress that. But Im scared he just could be wanting to stop me seeing anyone else and is just stringing me along..

If you want to do something nice, then come up with something nice and appropriate. Please don't do something cringeworthy and crazy. That will have the opposite effect of what you want.

Tbh, if he was in love with you, nothing would keep him away. Just turning up at his door with a smile would be enough. It sounds like theres nothing there.

He still loves me, but really needed time to himself and to see his friends and be a young man again.

Again, that doesn't happen in happy relationships.

I felt the same though, I was staying in on weekends and never had any money to do anything with the people in my life - so we spent all time with eachother outside work.

I love him very much, and cant stand the thought of being without him but just need time to get back to my healthy self (financial difficulties got the best of me, haven't had more than £50 in my bank in a long time- including payday)

But he's made it clear that its not the end of us, he's very paranoid we won't get back together and likes to stress that. But Im scared he just could be wanting to stop me seeing anyone else and is just stringing me along..

From what you've said, he doesn't want to be with you but he doesn't like the idea of you with anyone else (possibly until he meets someone else). Are you happy being on standby until he decides he wants a relationship?

You need to talk to him. It doesn't matter whether we all video ourselves for you - it won't make any difference. I understand the urgency, but just talk to him. Tell him you love him. Or you could play hard to get. Either way, don't get others involved.

Okay- you guys have made me realise the truth: I saw something on the internet, saw it was actually crazy and desperate, and was hoping it would save my relationship when really the only thing that will do that is him actually wanting to save this relationship