Is cheating ever justified?

[Helpmegetthisoutmymind]

Just that really. Was chatting to a friend who was considering cheating. I was against other friend was for. Things got a little heated.
I said there's no excuse. My husband wouldn't cheat regardless Other friend says it's pretty much a given that cheating happens and men do it all the time as it's so easy to do these days etc. Pretty much laughed at me for thinking my husband doesn't cheat or message other women.
It's made me a little paranoid about my own relationship. And I'm wondering if I'm stupid to think he doesn't cheat.
I suppose if my husband did cheat it would be justified to my friend as I don't dress up or sext or do anything like that. We have kids a newborn and a business to run. I just don't have time and I'm too tired to do anything exciting in the bedroom just yet.
Do men cheat so quickly when they don't get it at home? husband recently went to Amsterdam for a day with the lads and she said it was certain he went to a prostitute and that's the only reason he went. She laughed at me. Called me stupid.
Feel a bit sad. Sorry for the rambling.

Your friend is an arse. Some men cheat. Most men don't.

(I have a 6 month old son, I'll raise him to be respectful, and to know it's not ok to cheat. I expect many other mothers have done the same)

The other friend sounds like a bit of a dick if you ask me! Is she jealous that you and your DH are a solid couple? Don't let her put doubts in your head OP!

As for the original question..... No it's never justified!

Your friend is trying to undermine your relationship and your trust in your husband. She is probably jealous of you if you appear to have a very solid relationship and loving husband. She sounds very bitter and nasty, don't let her sour your relationship or your faith in your husband.

If you have a good relationship and your husband has given you no reason to believe he would cheat then you should trust him. Most men are not cheats if they're in a good relationship, some won't ever cheat under any circumstances, some will cheat no matter what... They're all different individuals just like women are.

Don't listen to your bitter friend. Her bad relationships are a reflection on her judgments and choices, they're not relevant to you.

I'll go against the grain.

Yes I think there are some scenarios where it's justified. I was in an abusive relationship I might have done it to feel loved or desired again.

I had the strength to leave but I can see how that can happen.

It's never black and white.

I sadly have first hand experience and I think that, yes. It can be justified. We are 12 years post affair and our marriage and seclude is great. All trust restored too. It was not an easy path though. Far from it.

I don't think men cheat so quickly if not getting any sex home but some definitely do eventually, some definitely don't. Although there are serial cheaters who do it from day one!!!

I would expect prior to cheating there would be lots of other signs that your other half is unhappy or you'd hope they would at least have the decency to let you know they'd like more sex before starting to look elsewhere.

Your friend sounds jealous that you are in a secure and solid relationship.

Have a chat with your husband about it if you are feeling paranoid.

If one partner decides they don't want to have sex anymore, refuses to discuss and basically forces celibacy on the other then I think it could be justified yes. Obviously separating might be best but there are certain situations which make that very difficult. Sometimes cheating is the least worst option (Dan Savage there).

No not justified in any circumstance.

I don't think it's ever justified! If someone isnt happy with something within their relationship for example sex..... Then try and have a discussion, work on things, give it some time. If all avenues have been exhausted and it can't be fixed and they are still unhappy then they should leave! Don't just go behind their partners back.

However having said all that I do understand why some people may cheat. I had horrible PND after my first. Lasted years and killed my sex drive. My EXP shagged around. I kind of understand why... he was sex mad. Wasnt getting it from me so he went elsewhere. But it still doesn't make it right and still doesn't make him not a dick.

Never justified, no.

And as a married man, I can say not all men cheat.
I'm loyal to my wife, I love her and don't even flirt with other women when given the chance. Why would I consider it when I'm in a committed relationship.

Your other friend sounds awful, if I were you I'd associate with her less. If anyone wanted to sow seeds of doubt in my happy marriage I'd drop them like it's hot. I don't need negativity in my life and I'm sure you don't either.

Your friend is a bellend. She is also talking rubbish. I have a lot of good friends who are men who have never cheated. She sounds like she's insecure.

Every scenario will be different. In principle though, it's never right to cheat however, there will be exonerating circumstances, where although not making it right, you can see why someone did.

You're friend, sounds bitter about your relationship

"Your" even

Yes sometimes its justified. Women cheat just as much as men. Cheating is not a male only thing!
Some people cheat, some people don't.
There cant be any blanket rules. The world is not black and white.

I think it's very rarely justified.

However your scenario isn't about what's justified, it's about what's being normalised. Big difference!

Speaking as a guy, Not all men or women are created the same. I have never cheated on my wife and never will as I beleive in loyalty. If you have made a pact, you should be true to your word.

If I ever thought about cheating I would put myself in the OH shoes, how would they feel and how would I feel if it was done to me.

I don't think its right to cheat.

If your friend has such low standards, she will attract men who mistreat women, IMO.

A woman who rightly demands respect and loyalty is probably too much hard work for a man child who's just looking to get his rocks off.

It's easy for some women to tar all men with the same brush due to experience but there are many good men out there. Don't doubt your DH just because she says so, that's her own insecurity.

No. It's the lying more than anything.

No it is never excusable. And of course men are capable of being married without cheating!

I think you need a new friend.

Nope I don't think it's justifiable. I get that sometimes people make poor choices and that some situations make cheating easier on the conscience, but it's still not ok.

And I don't believe for a second that all men cheat. Some folk do, some folk like to cheat and tell themselves "everyone does it" to assuage their guilt. Still doesn't make it true.

No, I don't think it's ever justified.

Whatever the problem in a relationship is, cheating is never the solution.

Your friend is a nasty, spiteful bitch and is no type of friend I'd want to spend time with. Of course she's wrong.

Your friend is an arsehole.

I do feel there are occasionally mitigating circumstances. There have been in the past a couple of long running threads on here from women who's husbands left them for another woman. Brief mention that they haven't had sex in literally 5/6 years, then never really referred to again.

They refer to the husband as "the wanker" or "the bastard". But I'm always curious to hear his side.

Some cheat, some don't.
You should never assume your partner won't or hasn't cheated - think how many people are surprised when they catch their OH having affairs!
Everyone has moments of weakness - that's human and what's makes us interesting and not robots.