The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sweet, Summer Sobriety!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Battle Bus! We're a group of travelling drinkers of varying levels, those who are teetotal, and those who have tried so many times to stop, those are 'controlled' drinkers, but we NEVER give up and keep coming back for the support we share, and trying to get some kind of control over the Wicked Wine Bitch Witch!

It's not easy, boy, it's so not easy to stop or cut down some days. There are days when even the Bravest Babes fall into the Sidecar. And do you know what? That's okay.

There is NO judgey pants worn on this Bus and you don't have to be anyone other than YOU to join us

So, come and grab a seat, some Opal fruits, (it'll make sense eventually!)) and meet the rest of the Babes. Remember, you're not on your own, ever with us, you'll always have a Babe you can relate to.

Here's the last thread for you to catch up on if you like

And here's where the entire journey began.

Mouse xxx

Morning all babes.
Went to bed early drank water did drink most of the wine tho.
Today's a shiny new day for each babe.

Am I able to join please? Not sure if I'm legible to hop in your bus as it's actually DH I'm concerned about.

He runs his own v stressful business, works all hours and is generally exhausted. He generally only drinks at
home, doesn't go out much. At least 4 nights a week he comes home with a bottle of wine and drinks it all (I may have a glass every now and then).

He often stays up way after I've gone to bed to carry on drinking.

Yesterday I bought 2 bottles at the supermarket. I had 2 glasses and "appeared" to have the same. However when I came down this morning the 2nd bottle was empty and outside the back door.

This has shocked me into action; he's always laughed off any mention of a problem and says it's just his way of de-stressing
But he has been known to even have drinks I know he doesn't even like.

It doesn't generally affect his personality except he is exhausted the next day and I know the DCs must see what's going on.

What can I do? Should I stop drinking? Do I stop buying wine to take temptation away (tho he still would buy his own)

Any help/advice gratefully received

Hi pack and welcome. The first step has to be the conversation,done gently, as in "I love you and I'm worried about you and how much /we drink". What would his response be?

And also pack, expect him to deny that he has a problem...
If you stop drinking, buying drink etc. for a couple of weeks... what will happen? Will he buy it and drink it openly? Or buy it and drink it secretly?

BBQ.
Sorry.
Wine witch has me...fucking Pinot.
See you all tomorrow when I surface and kick my sorry arse around the garden.

Hi, I hope I can join. I don't have a huge problem but just in the past few months I've found it hard to stop once i start, mostly when out with friends. No damage done but I just become ... Well, drunk and annoying and the next day is a write off as I get The Fear and feel ashamed for money spent, etc etc.
I've been having a tough time at work and start a new job next week (I have a week off now) so i am hoping being happy in a new place will help. But it was farewell drinks on Friday. Everyone had a great night but I've been a bit stung by my boss's response to me leaving since I handed in my notice and feel I was probably a little too blunt about my feelings
There is a couple of hardcore drinkers in that group who cajole me into "just another one, just let's go to one more pub" - which is fine for them as they don't have kids, husbands etc - and totally my fault that I am so easily convinced. So again my new job might be a catalyst to being able to stop - it's further away so I'll always have to drive home, no post work drinks, etc.
I have no issue with people going out drinking - but I get The Fear so badly in the following days (I'm usually quite unsociable so not even really I used to going out that much) that i should stop and just not drink any more I think.
What a ramble!! Anyway, I'm on board!

Morning all! Mint I was caught by the wine witch last night too. I was careful until all bbq guests had gone, just mum left. I had a bit of a tantrum about the state of the kitchen to myself, mum beat a hasty retreat and DH sent me to bed. For my sins I have just spent an hour taking apart bbq and thoroughly cleaning it but doubt that will be enough to absolve me!

DH still in bed, not sure whether he is asleep or pretending - I just popped in there with a coffee and atmosphere in there is gloomy so I just know he is in a bad mood.

Anyone got any ideas on how to turn his mood around so he can enjoy fathers' day?!!

Morning babes!

Lux glad to hear your internets back up and running. Can't believe how long you've defeated the wine witch for, I'm so jealous and in awe.

42 go you! Friday sounds like you made the right choice

Venus I've actually screenshotted the post about putting it off an hour I have to go through all of those now.

Hey fluke, sounds like you're in the right place. I have a similar process of next day with the fear so I understand

Unicorn did you sort things with dh?

I'm officially on the bus as of today. Dh has pointed out how much I'm spending on wine and since I jacked in my toxic job we can't afford it. I'm so ashamed that I don't know how I'm going to cope til Friday. I feel sick this morning and I haven't slept properly, again. I've got a Fitbit that monitors my sleep and because of all the drinking it seems that I'm not getting more than an hour of good sleep a night.

But onwards and upwards, today is a new day and all that jazz

Hi all checking back in after my holiday. First af day today in weeks (I hope anyway, that familiar anxiety is kicking in). Have every type of juice/tea/soft drink you can think of so just need to avoid the shop.

I drank every day of my holiday, controlled compared to previous holidays but enough to regret it every morning. I've realised I can never just savour a drink- I'm always to preoccupied with working out where the next one is coming from.

Anyway, lots to catch up on. Deliberately kept away from my phone/internet while I was away (think that's becoming a bit of an addiction too) so I'm out of the loop a bit.

Welcome fluke. Sorry all, not around much with work and health and dad. Dementia is a living death, a living hell and not even he deserves it. All very difficult. He is trying to starve himself to death but the care home people say they can't let that happen. Even though he is torment every minute of every day. Even though it's what he wants. Even though if you kept a mad, deranged, violent, incontinent, skeletal dog or cat you would be prosecuted for cruelty. But you can do it to a human.

Morning All. Making one of my periodic reappearances to say I luffs you all, you mad, wonderful, brave, bints!

I'm on day five, doing it minute-to-minute at times.

One of the reasons I stopped posting, was that I didn't feel I was wise enough, or helpful enough, or, anysort of enough, but that's not what it's about, is it? And reading back, there were times when I was positive and boingy, but I'd forgotten that. It's good to remind ourselves that there is light as well as shadow, and small improvements that may be imperceptable until we add them all together.

Have a good day, i'm off to work, then I'm going to read back to see what I've missed.

HI sweet good to see you.

I feel the same about my not insightful posts but I think us all being here together is what counts isn't it?

Day 2 here only but I'm back at 3 or 4 AF days a week again now so that feels better. And generally less intake on the other days.
It just all feels so precarious.

Happy sunny Tuesday babes

oh ma sending you strength that sounds so very hard for you.
try not to focus on the difficulty of his days for him - for your own self, focus on the practicalities and what you can do and importantly, what your limitations are and how you can look after yourself

and for a quick moan:

I was booked into yoga today for the first time in about 3 years even though it is one of the key things in my wellbeing (single parent and all that) but DS2 has been sick all night. FFS.

But, it's a nice day and he can tidy the garden with me

good to see you elba and flowery and welcome fluke, I found having to drive to work makes a v positive difference.
mouse , dubh, lux hope you're okay.

That sucks, 42. I swear they know when we have something we need or want to do - my DS does the same - only his is generally teen angst of some sort.

My office is inhumanly hot, I'm supposed to be completing a self-evaluation for a development review today. It is definitely work that makes me want to drink , except when it's any of the 101 other reasons I have.

dementedma
I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I agree, it wouldn't be allowed if he was an animal. It's so inhumane the poor man. And how shit for you too.
Elba84
Good to see you back. Hope you had a lovely time on holiday.
Flowery
Good for you chucking the toxic job. I feel so much better having done it. Unfortunately I can't sign on or get a job so I'm panicking and throwing wine down my throat at every available opportunity.
In fact I've missed my hourly bus home after the gym so I've been just used DPs bank card and got a pint of cider in the pub. 😕
Waves at theansweris42 *SweetLathyrus"
Unicorn
Hows things with DH now? I got so hammered Saturday night I had a wine blackout and woke up in the spare room.
No idea why,what,how.
flukeshot
I find it's like Pringles, once you pop start, you can't stop.

Sweet good to see you back!

Mint sorry about the job situation. You sound so stressed and worried. Are there any potential jobs on the horizon? Sounds like you like you live somewhere fairly remote which must make it harder.

I managed day 1 surprisingly easily. Day 2 is going less well- hot, headachy and so so thirsty. When I was away I promised myself that if I stick to nothing else, I have to stick to not drinking when I have to be in work early (leave at 6.30). Was managing that a while back to the point it almost felt routine, but less so recently. May be just about to give in on day 1 of my new resolution .

elba try a shower/bath?
drink water
go to bed early?

Thanks 42

Had dinner, about a million different soft drinks (virgin Bloody Mary is the new obsession here...) and might just give in and go to bed shortly. Not climbing the walls quite as much.

Buying a litre of gin at the airport probably didn't help...it's taunting me

Elba good for you.
Hope you slept.
I had 3 G&Ts and barely felt them and wish hadn't bothered!!
Morning babes

Morning All

Well done for resisting, Elba, getting bac into a routine is tough.

42, that'll be the heat - have you tried just the tonic, but with all of the frills, ice, lemon etc?

Mint at Prngles, but seriously, yes, it's only the first one we need to avoid.

Ma the wanting to die is heartbreaking, my grandmother and mother-in-law both said similar things.

Day six and my sleep is beginning to sort itself out - I actually slept until the alarm this morning. I have a horrible metalic taste in my mouth, but that's ok, its a process. My Evaluation/development meeting went well, it's amazing effect what a change of leadership can have. So that's another academic year just about survived, now I can get on with some writing, new research and prep for next year.

Have a good day Babes, keep the water near by, and stay in the shade.

Gaah! The spots have also started - at least it's bye, bye toxins.

Yes I'll try and nowt&tonic and also AF beer I think

Hi all,

Hope everyone's fine, been walking the dog around the time I'd be tempted for wine the past 2 days, feeling a bit better for it. Trying to make it to Saturday now that I have a shift on Friday night at the pub. I think the fact I'm doing weight watchers properly may be helping.

Also just read a book by the life bitch which has a whole bit on kicking the booze which was quite brutal to read but maybe I needed that.

Will catch up tomorrow hopefully, away to get supper prepped before ds is out of nursery