Best online dating sites?

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi there,

I'm a single parent and would love to meet someone, I've been single for a few years now and feel ready to dip my toe into the dating scene again!

In the past I've tried Tinder and Bumble (before becoming a mum) but I don't think I'll find my soul mate there

Ideally I'd like to try a site which doesn't cost anything (or very much) but I'm wondering if you tend to then get the oddballs 😝 Do people tend to just sign up to all of them?!

I met DP during my second week on OkCupid, and met other nice people there too,so can recommend. Only one after a shag, and he was funny, so I didn't mind. DP send me a wonderful message which was so unlike anyone else's I was very quickly swept off my feet.

I have a child too and ticked the box, but did not mention him until later. Not my fault if they don't see the box ticked! Only one guy minded when he found out. I still met up with him. He chickened out straight after that, but then had second thoughts, but I'd already met DP, so... Tough!!! Haha

Haha... Have a look through all the men in the meet me part and you will find a few who will be like those two plus ten years😉

Getting the profile right is the first step, now it's just a matter of finding someone compatible. You will. There are men near you who are looking for someone exactly like you, they just haven't seen you yet, so get looking and contacting those you think may be suitable. Get noticed!!!

Half the guys on my Tinder are standing on top of a some mountain or other or have pics from all over the world and a large proportion of them at the gym . Sounds like you need to look for men up here!

It's all a bit off putting to someone who recently had to give up their gym membership and can't exercise much or afford to travel.

E harmony x

I'd be a bit more open-minded. Chat to the young guys (if you would be attracted if they were 10 years older). Just see how it plays out.

Ha thanks guys! You're advice is invaluable! I don't think I could date someone so young again. I did it a few years ago, the guy was 9 years younger and he broke my heart simply because he didn't want a family yet. So it's put me off. I'd probably date someone 5 years younger than me but no younger.

Do you think it would be better to date someone with a child already? I'm 41 so doubt I'll have another child at my age.

Depends what you want cherry. If you're looking for someone to go on adventures with and to dinner with, but not a long term thing, then go for men without kids who'll have more free time and disposable income.
If you want to settle down with someone, then the majority of men will want children, if they don't already have them, so if you're fairly sure you won't have another then it's best to go for men with kids. Plus they'll understand the constraints better.

I'm a similar age to you and don't go for women without kids, because I probably don't want anymore, I'm happy with my two, and most women in their 30 and early 40s want children if they don't have them already.

But then I'm not looking to climb mountains with anyone. Some men will be.

I agree about no photos of kids on profiles. Some women only have photos of their kids, and none actually of them. Weird.

Hey .... I'm beginning to take the view that OLD is just a microcosm of everyday life, in the sense that, we ALL win some/lose some, we all get irritated by others, we don't define ourselves by it though.

What I'm trying to say is that day to day, the irritations, the mood hoovers, the obtuse, will cross our paths. We let those go and move on.

I'm convinced we don't take them as personally as we do misunderstandings, disagreements on OLD. We need to be in a place where we can shout NEXT!! and let them go.... mentally and emotionally.

That's my thought for the day. It's just another aspect of life we're led to believe we can control. I'm not so sure we can.

Thanks Bant, I'm completely open to having another child but also happy with my one daughter. I'm just conscious that I don't have loads of time plus I don't want to rush things.

I want fun and adventure (because that's the kind of person I am) but I also want stability and to settle down - can't I have both? 😆

My ambition is to own a campervan, stick our kids in it and go exploring. Show them the world. But, I also would like someone who is financially independent. I work and own my own house, so I'm expecting the same from them. Before I've dated men who have a lot less than me and it just doesn't work. I'm probably expecting far too much 😬

Cherry I totally get your post! Similar boat financially, and am torn between feeling I should be open-minded and wanting someone financially secure.

Finances can be so precarious. I guess, at 41, I'd like to be more comfortable that I was one or two decades ago.

Is that shallow or reasonable I genuinely wonder....

You're a little bit late for dating sir. Your sons might be using a dating app. I was shocked these days when I found out about a dating app for teenagers, from 17 to 19 y.o. At least with this app, we'll meet fewer teenagers on mature dating sites with fake accounts.

The app I'm talking about: datingappsadvice.com/teen-dating.app

I didn't notice anyone recommending Guardian Soulmates? I found my DH on there. I liked the fact there were no "hi sexy XXX" type of messages and they always contained full sentences with punctuation marks (in the right places).