What am I missing??

[newname123456]

I don't get sex.
If I need affection I can have a cuddle.
I don't want to get pregnant.
If I want an orgasm I can do it myself.
What am I actually missing here?
It's not a case of finding the right guy, I've had several partners but every time, id take sleep and a bit of peace than sex.

Yes all of the things you suggest are true but a relationship is a connection between two people.

For me sex is important as it strengthens the feeling of love and togetherness. There is excitement, passion, desire and a feeling of being desired. Without it you are basically friends IMO.

It is OK to feel the way you do but you owe it to any prospective partner to be clear that sex is not going to be something you want.

Oh I've been with my oh for over five years; we've probably had sex that many times too so he knows the score but he knows that if he wants to leave for that reason that's totally understandable. We do share a bed and an occasional kiss but I wouldn't care if I never had sex again. I don't need it to feel desired.

I think a balance in the middle is really what life is about... my BF and I will happily just admit we are too tired sometimes and hug then sleep. But other times sex is a way of connecting with each other with more intimacy than a hug.
I always like the bit after sex with him, it seems to be the most special part when you really feel most connected. I also think the orgasms he gives to me are better and stronger than ones I give myself

I must be odd then because I'll never get the hype. Sex seems so massively overrated. I get connection from holding his hand on a walk or an occasional cuddle on the sofa.

Oh and a friends comment which has stuck forever! "To be fair, what he pisses out of is being shoved into something you bleed out of". Niceeee!!

Maybe you're asexual or perhaps you just don't fancy him?

I've had several boyfriends and a now fiancé so I doubt I am.

Not you're not missing anything. You dont like sex, that's you and that's how it is. Not a problem for anybody but you and youre ok with it so.....

I LOVE sex. And I've not had it for 2 years

Maybe its sex with the wrong people?

I didn't really enjoy sex with my ex ever to be honest. Sometimes it was ok but it never lasted that long really either.

My current boyfriend is way better and really makes me love sex. Hating being away from him right now.

What do you all get from it that's not already stated in my op?

Hypoactive sexual desire disorder

Sorry posted too soon. Could it be that??
I absolutely adore sex but it hasn't always been that way. I'd say when I hit 30 my sexual desire shot through the roof. I also enjoy sex alone but I love the closeness, the affection, the kissing just having the touch from someone you love.

I used to hate sex, I've just broken up with someone about a year actually and I'm having sex with someone a lot younger and it's great. He's attentive and intense and I thought I knew what orgasms were until I met him.
So it could be sex with the wrong people

I'm getting married this year so he's clearly well aware of my non-existent libido but I have to admit to being worried that eventually it'll start to bother him and will be a bone of contention.

When I was about 31 I was seeing a bloke with whom I had an amazing connection and unbelievable sex. The first time we kissed it was like the proverbial fireworks, the kissing alone was mindblowing. Was otherwise a fairly crap relationship though.

Had lots of one night stands, a fair number of long-term relationships, had a lot of fun. Now am with my wonderful oh, adore him, but we have never really had brilliant sex. I'm bumping up against menopause and I couldn't care less if I never have sex again. Otherwise, life is good.

I don't think I'm missing anything. I could be wrong I guess, but for all I know this is as good as it gets, and that's ok with me. I feel like I don't need to have everything all the time, this relationship is great for me. Like you, being together and holding hands, communicating, enjoying the same things, that is enough. It all sounds so elderly lol, but we're happy.

User I'm 29!! He's 37.

Connection.
Intimacy
A different kind of climax than one thats self induced.
Pleasure
The intoxicating sensation of skin on skin
Shared vulnerability

I think it's really important that you talk about it with him before you get married, and make sure he really is happy with a celibate marriage (and not just that he's going along with it for your sake hoping it will improve). If he feels the same, then I don't think there's any problem at all, as long as you're both happy with it.

I'm not troll-hunting, but I would just generally say that we should stick to the specific situation the OP is in. We have the sex discussion board for people who want to talk about how sex feels for a woman and what they get out of it.

I love going to bed really really early every night, cosy pyjamas, a book or bit of tv. He always comes up several hours later after I've fallen asleep. I don't drink so rarely socialise, he'd be out every day given the chance. We talk a bit. On paper we've got absolutely nothing in common but we're both use to it I guess.

This is a topic about sex, so people will answer about sex.
I don't know how else people can answer 'what do you get out of sex' without mentioning 'because it feels nice'. OP is clearly interested or she wouldn't have asked. Sex is not dirty

How bizarre

Anyway, OP, if you don't like it you don't like it. Have you ever liked it with anyone else? If you give yourself orgasms then you aren't A sexual because you have sexual desire, you just don't desire your partner?
How is your relationship and your health? These have a massive impact on how you feel about sex.

You probably need to stop looking at it that you are dysfunctional and work out when it started, maybe what started it.
I am abuse survivor and I realised when I was an adult I was having sex with partners simply because they wanted to and I didn't enjoy it and didn't want to. It was the end of my main relationship - but there was a lot more wrong with the relationship than lack of sex.

If you DF is happy with you, and wants to marry you then maybe no sex isn't an issue for him. You should discuss it and make sure you are both on the Same page.

There is something about the tone of your post that doesn't sound very happy. What's worrying you? That he will leave? That you want to want it or just for him to accept you don't?

If sex means nothing to you would it mean anything to you if your fiancée had sex with someone else? (genuine question)

What you are missing is the excitement and happines of pleasuring the person you love - kissing them, tasting them, feeling the warmth and smoothness of their skin, looking into their eyes, getting the satisfaction of their enjoyment.

Your post seems all about me, me, me! If you concentrate on the person you love, you might find you get something deeper out of the experience too. The question is - do you love (in the "relationship", not "sibling" way) your partner? Doesn't sound like it.

Your post started off talking about the lack of sex in your relationship, but it sounds from your most recent post that there's more going on here. You go to bed and he stays up, you stay in and he goes out. You only talk "a bit".

I often find myself that when we're spending time together, having a laugh together, talking, or out doing something together that would be the time that I'm most in the mood for sex. Not everyone connects sex with emotions but often if we're just working too much and not spending time together, I don't really feel like we're connecting, and then wouldn't be in the mood.

My point is sometimes you need to make things work outside of the bedroom to make you want to go into the bedroom, which in turn makes things better outside! For a lot of people it's all connected.

Well, if it hasn't bothered him for 5 years and he wants to marry you, then he is probably happy with the way things are.

If he enjoyed and valued sex, your relationship probably wouldn't have lasted more than a few months.