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Original poster

Should I take him back after affair whilst pregnant?

74 replies

Amicrazy17 · 12/06/2017 20:33

Hi there

Looking for some advice / stories from people in similar situations.

My husband of 5 years (8 year relationship) had an affair for nearly a year during and after my pregnancy.

When our son was 5 months old he left us (and my DD aged 3) for the other woman.

He's now been gone for 8 months and he and the affaire have now split. He said he doesn't love her and wants to come home to his family. She is pregnant and he is having nothing to do with the baby.

I miss him a lot and I am thinking of taking him back, for me but more so for our children.

Any advice?

Am I mad?

OP posts:
Breezy1985 · 12/06/2017 21:06

I couldn't be with any men that would have nothing to do with his baby! Never mind the affair no just no.

LynetteScavo · 12/06/2017 21:07

Do. Not. Take. Him. Back!

Pinkknickers · 12/06/2017 21:10

He abandoned his responsibilities once when he left you and your children and now he's doing the same to the other woman. Shows him for the pathetic, spineless git he is. Don't take him back, you deserve better.

f83mx · 12/06/2017 21:11

The most horrid thing is that he's abandoning his child - that on its own is enough to say absolutely don't take him back let alone the fact that he abandoned you and your children, or did he continue to see them? What about your children, do you want them to have a relationship with their half sibling?

TheLegendOfBeans · 12/06/2017 21:13

He sounds a right prize.

A child-abandoning, family-abandoning prize, who couldn't spell "commitment" if his life depended on it, seemingly.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 12/06/2017 21:16

Why on earth would you want him back?

hungrygurl · 12/06/2017 21:22

No no no no no no

hungrygurl · 12/06/2017 21:22

No

TheNaze73 · 12/06/2017 21:24

What a prick.

Just don't

HeddaGarbled · 12/06/2017 21:28

Nope

SubordinateThatClause · 12/06/2017 21:29

Leopards...spots... all that really. No no no and no. You will just end up getting more hurt. He's a shit. End of.

Be aware though that the other child will mean that his contributions to supporting your two will reduce.

magoria · 12/06/2017 21:34

You're mad.

You would be a fool.

And he is a disgusting piece of shit.

He left you for OW. Why would you even consider this?

LellyMcKelly · 12/06/2017 21:37

This is a man who wants to leave his pregnant girlfriend. What a total and utter slimeball. No no no. There are much better men out there.

LemonSqueezy0 · 12/06/2017 21:39

No. Not ever. Please don't do this for the benefit of your kids (it won't benefit them at all!) or for some misguided type of revenge or victory over the OW.
Life is too short for this fuckery.

NellieFiveBellies · 12/06/2017 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bringbacksideburns · 12/06/2017 21:49

There won't be one person on here who will tell you he deserves another chance.

He made his decision when he dumped you and his children. This wasn't a casual fling.

He doesn't love you.
I'd rather spend my life alone then be with someone like him. Sorry!

EmeraldIsle100 · 12/06/2017 22:09

He wants nothing to do with his baby is all you need to know. You won't be winning him back. He didn't miss you and he will leave you again.

The only reason he wants to come back is because he is leaving his pregnant girlfriend. Put yourself and your DC first.

twattymctwatterson · 12/06/2017 22:22

He's scum. He's bored with her now that she's pregnant, just like he was bored with you when you were pregnant. He plans on having nothing to do with his child - how could you let a man like this near you?

Shoxfordian · 12/06/2017 22:23

No

Buffal0buttcheeks · 12/06/2017 22:34

Yore havin a larf- surely you cannot be serious! I hope you are a troll for your dc's sake

Moanyoldcow · 12/06/2017 23:47

Surely you're kidding? He's vile - apart from cheating which is despicable he's disowning his child - don't you see what kind of creep he is?

slothqueen · 12/06/2017 23:52

I'm not sure you'll even come back to this thread as no one is going to tell you what you want to hear.
He didn't just sleep with someone else. He lied to you for over a year and set up a new life (and family) behind your back.
I can see you really want things to work out for your family but the best thing to do is to not let him back in your life, move on. Meet someone who treats you with respect. He'll have another affair if you take him back, or even worse change his mind and go back to OW.

timeisnotaline · 12/06/2017 23:53

How could taking him back be anything but bad for your kids? They will be confused and devastated when he leaves again, and not understand he has another babY and doesn't care about them. I couldn't even look at him personally.

Offred · 12/06/2017 23:54

NOPE!

Beelzebop · 13/06/2017 00:05

OP, I hope that you are OK? What will you do? He may want you back, even feel he loves you but I couldn't love a man who can leave a child like that, twice xxxxxxxx.