Menopause misery?

[mumoseven]

My menopause began 3 years ago and it feels like as the hormones disappeared, I became a different person. I used to feel so much joy in the smallest of things - flowers, sunshine, the thought of holidays, fresh coffee, a new book to read. I wasn't a completely 'up' person, I have suffered depression at times, and my life hasn't been marvellous, but I was able to enjoy myself to the max when well. Now its like I have lost my mojo and everything is a bit shit. I was thinking on the way to work today what would cheer me up, and I can't even think of anything. A year ago I had cancer, and though I trounced it, I feel like what was the point of surviving when we're all going to die anyway. Which makes me feel guilty when I was so lucky.
Sorry to be such a whinger!
I can't be arsed to do anything I used to like, my friends invite me out and I go, but though I act cheerful, I'm really just dying to go home and get back into bed.
My life feels a waste, though my kids are great, my job is worthwhile, it all seems a bit pointless really.

I am on medication for anxiety and I've done counselling, which makes me cringe to hear the sound of my whinging voice going on and on, when so much horrid shit goes on in the world. Mindfulness and living in the moment makes me tired, because every moment is followed by another moment in which I feel nothing but disassociation with everything I used to enjoy.
Sorry.

But it's the TIME for fitting in all this exercise...when most of us are supporting families at both ends and working... I run most mornings (if I haven't had a late shift the night before and therefore feel like my feet are falling off), but the two jobs and the kids coming back from uni and...

And I'm allergic to oranges. I'm buggered, aren't I?

I don't find lots of exercise makes a massive difference. I walk a lot (dogs, horses) and occasionally run. I love my pilates class. I think I respond better to gentle, kind exercise! And reading and sitting down being cosy!

I find it particularly emphasised in over heated houses, so am worse in winter. The big thing with me is it totally killed libido. I am now just past it I think and feel a bit better but not loads.

And I'm allergic to oranges. I'm buggered, aren't I? Bugger!! I have problems with other fruit, but oranges are ok for me. I reckon it is just the vitamin C boost - 1 orange is your daily rd - is there anything else high in vitamin C that you could have (pref real food rather than tablets)?

I have to do the exercise because I hurt if I sit down but I still find it hard to find the motivation. I like it when I do it though.

Libido is a tough one. Sometimes it is lack of desire, sometimes things just don't work properly, sometimes it is relationship. Sometimes route of hrt is a factor. The menopause matters forum has some discussion around this.

my libido is shit

seriously considering taking some sort of pill

My libido fell off a cliff, I'm not really bothered, that constant urge demanding gratification was just a pain in the ass and led me to do all kinds of stupid shit 😶
Just generally I prioritise my own health...mental and physical well being, finding what works and doing it
I'm lucky that my children are grown up and I live alone with a not very time consuming job

Im now glad that I had children in my early 20s
I would find it very hard to cope with teenagers these days

My kids keep me going. I have an 11 year old and she's just the light of my life. Full of energy and relentlessly postive! Love my teens too but I've been lucky they aren't too difficult

She sounds like an 😇 Bruffian 😊

Yes she is. She was a very unexpected surprise!! She's a delight I am very lucky

I honestly think I would be dead if not for HRT.

I went through surgical menopause as a result of cancer a couple of years ago. Like someone up thread said, I wasn't sure whether the whole post cancer thing was the cause of the terrible depressive feelings or whether it was the menopause.

I felt terrible, questioned what I was actually on earth for & mused occasionally about funerals etc. I had constant hot flushes, night sweats & felt so "un-me" I actually feared for my sanity. I stuck it for 4 months then went to the gp & asked for HRT. I'm on a low dose oestrogen only pill & it's been a complete lifesaver. I felt better in 3 weeks flat & started to feel joy in life again. I also practice mindfulness & get into the fresh air/exercise - all of which help. No need to suffer in silence.

Well to be honest this thread came out of finding myself wondering dispassionately (on a recent lovely holiday)what it would be like to fall off the balcony... Not that I would do it, but it was a very intrusive thought. It passed quickly, but omg

mumofseven, I think I know you from Elsewhere. HotToast, if so. I recently had a chemically induced pseudo menopause and it was, to be blunt, horrific. I couldn't have HRT as it would have cancelled out the treatment. It left me very confident that I will be hitting the HRT asap when I go through it again. And you are lovely x

God the menopause is absolute shit, I've had it for 10 years and it sucked the life out of me, I often thought of going to Switzerland to end it all.
How can you be full of life one minute and virtually dead the next.
I have to admit at 55 I am now feeling rays of sunlight shining through and I'm beginning to find pleasure in small things again. It will never be the same but it's better.
Why does nobody tell us this stuff is going to happen?

Loads resonating on this thread for me - thank you for sharing. I'm going through an early menopause due to hysterectomy -kept ovaries, but I think they've keeled over, apparently that can happen. Had a few hormone tests, and oestrogen is tanking, FSH elevated so pretty conclusive that I have entered my - TAH-DAH! - climacteric (which is a much better word than menopause )

I just feel like I've lost my zip and zing. I have an underactive thyroid, but I'm getting treated for that. I have some sort of horrific IBS like thing going on, all my joints hurt, I feel flat and tired, but not depressed...and I've always used exercise as a tonic, only now, it makes me ache and feel tired, rather than geeing me up as it used to. Sigh. Back to the docs I think - HRT sounds like the way to go.

to you, mumoseven, thanks for starting the thread and I hope you feel better soon.

Oh, yes, and my libido has become a libidon't...which is depressing as hell.

Then there's my memory issues - which ironically, I just remembered!

Christ alive, I'm doomed

HotToast, I mean cheesetoastie, I do indeed live on the Moon! How the hell are you?

Indeed, irritated, why does no one tell us!

Pooch, the memory issues are dreadful. Its given a real knock to my confidence at work.

Not nearly enough women (and that includes female GPs) realise what havoc your hormones can cause you emotionally.

Low levels of oestrogen are known to cause low mood/anxiety. Lowering levels of testosterone are known to kill your libido and take away your zest for life.

Apparently, my poor Great Auntie suffered terribly 'with her nerves' and with depression back in the 1960s. Looking back with hindsight I think it safe to say it was the menopause and its hormonal fluctuations which were the culprit.

Oh god yes, 'The Nerves'! Was quite a diagnosis back in the day.

What I don't get is when is the menopause over?
Or do you just stay like this without hrt?
If you take HRT, do you have to take it forever?
Do you just feel shit again if you stop?

OP thank you so much for posting this, it is EXACTLY how I feel .. The physical symptoms are bad enough, but the whole "what am I for now, what is the point" feelings are so familiar. I have just started on HRT and am really hoping I get 'me' back again. Best of luck to you and all of us going through this xx

Upwiththis - please keep us updated!

I'd love to get me back!

And thank you all for taking the time to post