Why do men do this?

[LottieandMia]

I've found that some men I get into new relationships with try to belittle past relationships I've had and tell me those people were only with me for sex.

It makes me really annoyed. Like they are trying to say that they are the only person I could have an actual relationship with. Even though I have exes I don't regret all my past relationships and I don't appreciate being told those people must have been using me.

Has this happened to anyone else?

No this hasn't happened to me. But if it did i would be very annoyed and rethink my relationship with that person.

I'd be inclined to tell them that although past relationships hadn't worked out - sex with the exes had been a damn sight better than with them.

How odd. No I've never experienced this, I don't think it's something 'most men do'. I wouldn't continue seeing a man who said that to me.

No, and I'd be worried about the signals I was giving out if this happened to me.

Men that say this so early on in a relationship will only get worse - they're horrible control freaks and you should heed the red flags .

Nah that's not normal. I'd leave a guy that did that.

It happened with two particular people and I didn't want to see them anymore& this had a lot to do with it. It felt like they were trying to put me down because they're insecure.

'I'd be inclined to tell them that although past relationships hadn't worked out - sex with the exes had been a damn sight better than with them.'

😂😂

It felt like they were trying to put me down because they're insecure.

Sounds about right.

Hasn't happened to me, but I'd run for the hills. Either it is a tactic to put you down, or that particular guy thinks you are not interesting as a person, which ... means he is also only with you because of the sex.

(Obviously, if you had told them at length how those exes treated you, and they came up with "He cannot have loved you, I guess he just wanted to fuck you", then that'd be different, but it wasn't like that, right? They just said this out of nowhere. Fucking creepy)

I've had one man do this ... and I'm sorry to say he was also the most controlling, jealous, insecure and chauvinist man I've ever tried to have a relationship with.

I'd take it as a v bad sign.

Never had that ever but if anyone said that to me they wouldn't be saying much else. What an odd thing to say and a display of massive insecurity. Big red flag

That sounds bizarre and a little controlling. With women i have associated with in the past, i have no real interest in their past relationships and have no desire to discuss. If they raise it i will listen but barely comment then move on.

He's trying to big himself up in your eyes and make you feel grateful to have him since your previous boyfriends "were such losers". He's a manipulator. Dump and move on.

I haven't experienced this.

I wouldn't be inclined to tell them things to try make them feel jealous, I'd just be inclined to tell them to drop the subject. If they didn't stop talking about my previous relationships, I'd drop them.

Yes don't worry I did end it. Personally I would just never presume to say anything about a guys exes who I've never met much less dismiss the relationship that way.

They have no right to know anything about your previous relationships - you don't have to tell them however its a great test for red flags as a man who cannot respond in a positive way about previous relationships isnt a man worth spending time with.

Yeah I think people who can't accept that you could have been with someone other than them just don't have a realistic view of the world.

Sorry to say I have also never come across this either. Sounds arrogant and controlling to me...

I'm glad in your actual posting you changed it to "why do SOME men" as opposed to your headline of "who do men" as if every man in the world acts in the same way. We don't, you know, just as all women don't.

I've never done this and interesting to see most people have either never experienced this or only the once. But I agree with the others, it's none of their business and you're best shot of them.

Fortunately you've only encountered two (which may or may not be a high percentage depending how many you've dated as a total). If it kept happening, I'd be wondering whether you're somehow attracting the wrong sorts or picking the wrong guys.

It's an indication of what they think about women.

Being in an equal loving relationship with a woman is so foreign to them, they can't even imagine it.

Bit of a dead giveaway.

I'm glad in your actual posting you changed it to "why do SOME men" as opposed to your headline of "who do men"

Did you really think that the subject line implied that ALL men do this thing? Maybe you should try to stop making that assumption, it's more likely than not to be wrong.

If I write a post about people being annoying in the supermarket queue, and say "why do people do this?", will you pop up and say "not all people do that"?

Trills Having been on MN for 7 years now, I would say that there is usually at least one thread a week with a title - and usually continued in the OP - which is all about "why are men this" and "why do men do that" precisely as if we're one mass. If a man starts a thread like that but referring to "all women" he tends to have it pointed out in 95% of the replies - quite rightly, and I would call him out on it there myself.

OP I agree with all above comments but another thought, out of interest, what are you guys discussing to get into conversations about exes/give the guy opportunity to say those comments?

If a man starts a thread like that but referring to "all women" he tends to have it pointed out in 95% of the replies.

The OP did not refer to 'all men' at any point.

Stoic The thread title says "why do men". It did not say some men or these men. If a male poster had a thread titled "why do women", the majority of replies would have pointed out that he was actually only talking about some women.

Sorry, I'm being pedantic. I apologise. It's Monday morning after a rubbish weekend, let me off please