MIL and DM 'argument', DH believes MIL over me and was vile about DM.

[LeanOn]

Tried to sum it up in the title and I will attempt to be brief as it's a longish story.

• at DS' birthday party, I overheard MIL tearing chunks out of me to my DMum.
• I confront them and they both laugh it off as a joke.
• that night DH comes to me and tells me MIL came to him upset during the party, saying DM has shouted at MIL, pointed in her face and had a go at her for bitching about me.
• next day I ask DM what happened
• DM adamant she merely said 'you don't think much of lean do you' to mil and mil responded with a 'sorry if I offended you' and that was the end of it.
• DM upset at the accusation and comes to ours to attempt to explain to DH and put it right
• DH says DM is a vile disgusting abusive person and he will 'knock her out'.
• DM rings MIL who agrees it was something and nothing.
• DH seethes at me for the rest of the day, calls me and DM fit to burn because I told her and because she's 'usually horrible to me' so doesn't see why she's decided to stand up to mil now.

Dh seems to have thrown back in my face every time I've told him my mum has upset me

I am upset at how nasty he was about my mum

He sounds like such a catch! Threatening to knock out your mum is disgusting and how long till he's threatening to knock you out.

Agree with Sourgrapes. I don't think you can condone violent language, no matter the circumstances.

Your dh is the most unreasonable here. Massively so.

Your husband threatened to knock your mother out?

And you haven't kicked him out?

It's actually not about who's side he took or about the reason for the argument.
He's bullying and threatening and he sounds like a nasty little fuck

I reacted awfully, in that i let him get away with it by saying nothing

Wot Pagwatch said. Is your husband normally such a cunt? Normal men would be upset that their mother slagged off their wife and would stay well out of arguments between others and daughters.

Did I read right that he said it's fine because your MIL always bitches about you?! AND he threatened to hurt your mum? What are his redeeming qualities op?

I couldn't be with a man who threatened to knock someone out - man, woman or child. It shows a lack of intelligence and a desire to dominate instead of negotiate. He could be defensive of his mother in a far more civilised way.

Is this type of drama typical in your relationship?

I can't go back to it now really can I? His mum would be so pissed off to hear what golden boy had said about my mum. MIL caused it all, i believe she only lied and said my mum had told her off, to tell my DH and cover herself and tell him they were only joking as she realised she'd upset me, and get to him before I did

The drama isn't really usual but the vile language is getting more commkn

If my MIL was bitching about me and my mother DIDNT get up in her face and call her out on it I would be hurt, how is it okay that your mil is bitching about you to your mum?
As for DH, agree with other posters, he sounds quite the catch

Op, I cannot imagine being with a man who said this about any woman never mind my mother. Don't have children with him.

You seem to have missed that this happened at our DS' birthday party Hercules :(

All 3 of them sound awful, and you sound like you have zero boundaries with them all.

I wouldn't be speaking to either of them.

Your mil and dm are unreasonable for both slagging you off, and back tracking, then making shit up.

Your Dh is unreasonable for wanting to know your dm out, and not actually deal with the first issue of both of them slagging you off.

All 3 are a bunch of arseholes quite frankly.

What comment did MiL make about you that caused your mother to say 'you don't think much of lean'

Basically a handful of comments about how I don't keep my house tidy enough/clean enough and didn't deserve a break

Well the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree has it? Dh and his mother sound rather difficult.

Your DH sounds like a wankbadger.

Is this the tip of the iceberg?

You lost me at

DH says DM is a vile disgusting abusive person and he will 'knock her out'

Why would anyone want to even spend any time with, let alone have a family with someone who speaks like that to anyone ?

the ins and outs of who did or didn't say what to whom pale into insignificance besides that.

DH says DM is a vile disgusting abusive person and he will 'knock her out'

I'm a tad confused by it all.

How do YOU feel about your Mum?

What do you normally say to your DH about your Mum?

The only time I could accept DH saying something like that would be if my Mum had form for really, really hurting me & had done something truly awful.

Re- my mum, she and I often have squabbles which I tell DH about and this has either 1. Coloured his view of her and he thinks she's the devil or 2. He realises it's just normal squabbles and he is storing up what I say and throwing it back at me at times like this.

What really got my goat was that he said I'd 'maybe misinterpreted' what his mum meant when she was having a pop, but when my mum tried to tell her side of the story where she'd 'had a go' at MIL, DH was insistent his mum's tale was totally right and me and my mother were awful liars

Well Lean in that case he'd be gone. Partly because he said that about your Mum, but mostly because clearly he has no respect or love for YOU. Mummy's boy can go & live with Mummy. Twat.