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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emergency help

32 replies

Childsvoicefirst · 04/06/2017 01:52

After fleeing abuse, and fighting everyday against the ongoing abuse allowed via the family courts, Today the police removed my son against his wishes, after convicted violent criminal father was granted a residency order with power of arrest of mother attached. I need help and don't know what to do next, who to talk to, what I'm allowed to say to who or where to ask for help. There is 100% an error occurred and I have full details to disclose to who ever will listen and help. Please help.
Kind regards

OP posts:
DarthMaiden · 04/06/2017 02:02

I have no words of wisdom or experience.

However you should get this post moved to a more active area of the site. Relationships for example.

Just report your post to MNHQ and they will do this for you.

Childsvoicefirst · 04/06/2017 02:17

Thank you

OP posts:
Changedname3456 · 04/06/2017 14:47

Women's Aid initially to get some advice and then a solicitor I'd think. If there's been DV in your relationship with ex then you might qualify for legal aid, and I believe there are some charities around that will help with legal costs if they feel you've been the victim of an injustice. You'll need to do some digging on the net to find out who/what's available (or Women's Aid may know).

Did you miss any court hearings? How did it get to the point where they granted him a residency order without you seeing that that's where this was heading? I assume you didn't have a solicitor representing you?

JK1773 · 04/06/2017 15:42

This is a draconian order for a court to make and I'd say a last resort. Didn't you engage in the court process at all? How did it get to this?

Childsvoicefirst · 04/06/2017 17:49

Thank you all for your attention to this matter. I assure all, the system has been followed, with evidence. The wrong doing has been in my son and I speaking the truth of the harm and the system telling me that's 'negative attitude'. I have a duty to protect my child from harm, and I have a right to protect my life. There is the support of every service available, police, social services, but their hands are tied due to cafcass and family court ruling. The deal is hey, you can flee domestic abuse, gain a criminal conviction against the abuser, restraining orders, non mols, relocating, safety plan, the whole shabang, but still be prepared that if your abuser wants to continue through the family courts using your child as a weapon, the British law sees fit to do so. This is an injustice and I will not back down: hear the child's voice.

OP posts:
Beyondworried · 04/06/2017 17:55

Do you have sole custody? Shared custody? Forcibly removing a child from a parent is not done without very good reason. Is there more to this situation?

TynesideBlonde · 04/06/2017 18:02

You might get more info if you ask for this to be moved to Legal. Sorry I can't offer any advice. Sounds horrific.

Childsvoicefirst · 04/06/2017 18:36

This was a very simple residency swap. I already saved us once but this time lost as the judge really didn't get the term ' harm'. This is beyond the wildest possible belief of the family courts but unfortunately very real and everyone needs to wake up to the situation. My child was removed because I was reporting abuse, nothing more, nothing less. Tomorrow morning a lot will happen but every person in this country, in fact on the planet needs take action. Only then can the change we all want to see exist into reality. This goes for everything. Thought without action is just a dream.

OP posts:
JK1773 · 04/06/2017 18:40

I'm sorry this happened and I don't know the full story obviously but the judge must have felt your child was at greater risk of harm in your care than his. Judges very very very rarely remove a child from a resident parent. I've worked in family law for 15 years and have seen this happen I believe only twice.

AnyFucker · 04/06/2017 18:40
Hmm
Childsvoicefirst · 04/06/2017 18:53

This happened because it was me proving evidence of the harm happening, not of my actions but from father. The court and cafcass took this a ' negative attitude towards father' The harm is real, documented, and now just taken to a whole other level. The system is not interested in good contact just contact. Yes he has been Going to contact, yes I followed the court order, yes I showed up at court. The child asked for help, I asked for help and we've been punished. How do you think we 'loose' kids in the country still, a system that fails in its preventatives to fix the problems. The more I tell the truth the more trouble I get in. Everyone needs to be this child's voice that they have taken his away inside the secret family British court system.

OP posts:
MumIsRunningAMarathon · 04/06/2017 18:56

How old is your son?

HundredMilesAnHour · 04/06/2017 18:59

Maybe it would help if you stopped the rhetoric and tried to explain what has happened in a calmer, more factual manner? Writing "every person on the planet needs to take action" is just silly.

As others have said, your child being removed from your care is extremely unusual and very much a last resort. Are you able to give a factual account of what has happened and why the courts found against you? This would give people a much better chance of being able to help or advise you.

Whosthemummynow · 04/06/2017 19:04

If you spoke in court the way you do here....

Herestonevergrowingup · 04/06/2017 19:07

What do you mean by, tomorrow morning a lot will happen?

weatherbomb · 04/06/2017 19:22

I am ao sorry this has happened to you but this is sadly not that unusual. my DC was retained by ex after contact (reported him for actively avoiding paying child support for years). Ex went for residency of 1 DC and claimed that he's been assaulted, lied in court, prevented SS investigating, cafcass =useless & I have a DC who is doing whatever it takes to survive (&is terrified/banned for seeing/speaking to his dm and is still temporarily resident with ex. The whole system is an epic fail for children and protective parents.
You need a SHL to appeal this order asap. I think it has to be done within 14days. Contact women's aid or the coram legal centre to get the ball.rolling. This is a living nightmare and I wish you strength in deal g with this. feel free to pm me x

ceecee32 · 04/06/2017 19:26

Havent we read all this before - or was that someone else

Childsvoicefirst · 04/06/2017 19:42

Weatherbomb, thank you, I will private message you. Someone who's aware. Unless your in the system sorry, you will continue to see this with wrong eyes. The truth must come out.

OP posts:
Childsvoicefirst · 04/06/2017 19:44

The child is nearly 10. His voice has been ignored. They removed him against his wishes and best interests.

OP posts:
CherriesInTheSnow · 04/06/2017 19:59

You don't have to go into a lot of detail OP but it might be beneficial for people with actual experience of this to be able to offer you advice you can explain a bit more clearly the circumstances around your sons removal?

Frankly you are not coming across as very coherent or understanding of the wider situation and perhaps this is what the court sees too. Surely even if the court was wrongly in favour of granting an abusive father access, there is still miles between this situation and actually removing them from your care into his sole care, if I've read correctly and that is what has happened.

Childsvoicefirst · 04/06/2017 20:14

I'm reaching out to speak to people aware of how to help the child. If you are in a position to help with this, what I'm saying will resonate with you and I would speak via private message.

OP posts:
CherriesInTheSnow · 04/06/2017 21:25

I hope your child receives the care and support he needs from whomever is capable of providing him with a stable happy home. Wishing him all the best.

SparklyMagpie · 04/06/2017 23:38

"Tomorrow morning a lot will happen but every person in this country, in fact on the planet needs take action"

OP, i have no idea what you're talking about?

Ceto · 04/06/2017 23:46

Did you have legal representation?

Childsvoicefirst · 05/06/2017 00:12

Already people think this can't be true. This is fact of what's happening in this county with the system . I appreciate all advice from people with experience not an opinion or judgment. Thank you

OP posts:
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