Any tales of marriage and family later in life? 34 and it still hasn't happened...

[lostandfound12]

Feeling a bit rubbish tonight.

I'm the only one in the 'group' of friends who is still single. Everyone else is now married.

I date, (some months more than others depending on the mood!). All online dating pretty much. It just hasn't happened.

Another summer of probably no holidays and lonely saturday nights :( i'll get off the pity train soon!

Any nice stories of finding it all later on in life would be appreciated...

'Later in life'? You're 34 not 64.

Just had a quick look at my FB list, as I can't keep count of how many women I know who have had it all happen after reaching 35. By my count, nine in my circle.

Ok without meaning to sound harsh if you date but don't like the men you're dating Are you on the wrong website or very picky ?

I'm not sure if i am picky. i have been in two serious relationships before, one of which i lived with. i like being in a relationship - i guess i am just cautious now to find the right one!

Here's how it usually goes:

we meet, i think they're ok looking (i find it hard to fancy someone purely on looks). we will chat and i will like their company. i start to feel bored by the time dessert comes (or the third cocktail, depending on the date). i then can't wait to get home and have a bath and watch my favourite soap!!

maybe it's just me and my attitude, i dont know.

Met my now husband at 34, he was 38, wasn't even putting much effort into dating as I was bored of looking. Fast forward 3 years & we've just got married & I'm 16 weeks pregnant. No guarantees you'll find someone but there's no time limit & the cliche is true, it often creeps up on you when you least expect it! Good luck and fill your life with fun things in the meantime :-)

and im on match and tinder.

Met DH a couple of weeks before 36th birthday. Married 2 years later, 10th anniversary this year. 2DCs 8 and 6. Never thought it would happen x

I would say, unless it was an awful first date, I'd always give someone a 2nd date if they were interested as I can be a slow burner when getting interested in someone.

OP, I've had a few friends in your position - that is over 30 and not in a long-term relationship. I can only say to you, what I said to them - be happy in yourself and your life as a single person, and your confidence will be the most attractive quality you possess! Some of these girls have now found partners/got married/had kids and two are still looking.... I guess being happy in yourself is better than being unhappy in a relationship.

As for a feel good story, one of the ladies I know met her husband at 41 and had her little girl last year (no problems conceiving). She'd spent her single years throwing herself into her career and is therefore receiving a generous maternity package during her year off. Her hubby was in the same boat and therefore they've got lots of savings to spoil their little one and enjoy themselves.

Plus, 34 is still super young, don't worry!

Met DH on match affinity, I was 38.
5 years later we have DS2, married with a nice house and TTC DC2
Don't give up, I had all but at 34

Met DH when I was 38 we have two beautiful little boys. There's plenty of time OP. I actually had the best time being single mid thirties went on some great holidays. Enjoy yourself

OP I totally understand. It's always hard when you feel like everyone you know is coupled up. Try mysinglefriend.com I have friends who have met and married through that site! And actually get a best friend or two to write your profile (your friends will see all the wonderful things about you more clearly than you can). Also e-harmony. And ask your friends to be on the lookout for potential guys to mix it up. Or try a new activity or hobby (maybe bully a friend into coming with you for the first one or two sessions to give tot courage). Tinder is a no-go - guys just looking for one thing in my experience. Don't force it and evaluate their potential as a husband from day one. Have faith, it will happen, good luck!

I'm 36 tomorrow. Met my boyfriend just over two years ago through a mutual interest, we got engaged in April and I'm 23 weeks pregnant. I hated online dating and gave up, then met him 'organically', doing something we both love. Try not to be disheartened - it's better to be alone than with the wrong one xx

I met DH at 34, had more or less resigned myself that I would never get married (came out of an 8 year relationship at 31) and wasn't all that bothered although I did like having someone special. After a few years of dating/short relationships I bought my own apartment, first time living alone and I really enjoyed it. No interest in having children so the biological clock wasn't an issue. DH bought an apartment in the same complex & we just started seeing each other around. Married 2 years later. It's tough when you really want it and it isn't happening but you only need it to work out one time!

OP I remember those days well and also wondered whether it would ever happen for me. I was 34 and 3 months when I met my husband, via match.com. He was the sixth chap I met from match and I was so close to giving up as numbers 1-5 had been time wasters. Thankfully I didn't as I would have missed out on so much if I had.

I think women tend to expect to have some kind of lightning bolt when they meet someone new and don't tend to fancy guys until they get to know them. So I say think about the qualities you want in a long-term partner and when it's right with someone you meet, be a little patient as the feelings will come and grew with time.

Never give up!

If you don't enjoy these dates, stop dating! It sounds like a chore. How's a chore like date going to lead to romance? Take a break.

probably no holidays and lonely saturday nights

You can do something about both of those right now, you don't need a partner.

I'm 33 and single and I like my life.

I can't necessarily give you advice on finding a partner but I can give advice on how to have a nice life in the meantime.

I met DH on Match married at 35, had DD at 36.

I had two DS's from previous marriage.

I decided to get serious about dating and treat it as a business. I read all the dating with Match links, some of them American and read some really good articles on getting serious about dating.

These were the key things I remember:

Be really honest with yourself about what you're after. If you want a long term relationship and DC don't be scared of that. If you meet someone who says they're not sure what they're after move on.

Try to have three people you're talking too until you know you're mutually serious about one person. Don't chat for weeks. Have a few online exchanges and they're either up for a brief meet or not in the right place at this time. Be bold and ask them if you're interested. If you're not, be polite but move on. If someone is nice but not for you then dont string them along, its unlikely to change. I'm not a believer in theres only one person we can love but there's lots of people we know we really aren't likely to want to spend our lives with either.

The reason for three. Two you play off, one and you deflate if they are not in the right place, three is not so many you're really busy (you meet each max twice then decide)

Keep meet no.1 somewhere public and brief i.e. coffee in the daytime in town. Have a meet no.2 option ready.

Get a seperate payg mobile phone for contacts and use first names only. You don't need to give details of your address of living arrangements initially. That can happen over time.

There are lots of other people also looking for serious relationships out there. Online is a great way for you and them to sift through.

The mumsnet dating thread helped me through. Lots in the same boat and always good to have people to laugh with.

Go on holidays - single holidays or group ones you can do by yourself such as g adventures - you don't need to miss out and I met my oh on one such holiday so you never know!

Ahh I needed this thread tonight. I've just started dating again (I'm 36) I want to meet someone, but I'm also really lazy, quite happy on my own and feel it has maybe passed me by. Keep the positive stories coming!

Ps personally I wouldn't bother with internet dating as someone else said if it's not fun how is it going to lead to fun and love?! Do something you love instead like a hobby or travel and then it's win win you'll enjoy it and maybe meet someone too

My brother and his wife met when they were 38ish, they have a little girl ( and much more money due to fewer children and better careers!).

thanks for these posts! making me feel a bit happier with life at the moment.

it feels like everyone has someone...everytime i go shopping, go to bars, walk to work, sit on a train... i know thats silly but it is how it feels sometimes!

I have a DC(12), but I'm soooo single and no idea how to sort it. I really don't fancy OLD. It just seems really staged to me, and I'm just not cut out for it. But I'm the only single friend, so there's not an abundance of opportunities to socialise. My friends say I'm too fussy, but I think I just trust my instincts. Now I feel like any dating I do won't be the same as how it feels when you're "young" and that the "best years of my life" have passed me by.

Been married. for 23 years .
Met DH when I was 37 - he was 32 . Married at 38 , had DS1 at 39 and DS2 at almost 42 .