So so scared of summer holiday loneliness

[Scared000]

Namechanged as feeling silly about this. I know I am extremely lucky to have long summer holidays (teacher in independent sector) but I am so scared.

H walked out 3 months ago to live with OW. She is pregnant. I feel desparately lonely most of the time, but thinking of those 7 weeks makes me panic, actually physically shaking. I am struggling at the moment and it's only a week half term! Work is the only thing that is keeping me going at the moment. I a have few friends, but all of them have families, husbands, children. They have plans and I doubt I'd be seeing much of them. I feels like this black hole is approaching that I am falling into.

I have no money to travel. H left me with the house to sort out, solicitors fees etc. No family nearby either (I would have to fly to see them). What the fuck do I do? I have gotten myself into a flat panic and can't get unstuck mentally.

(And I realise how pathetic this sounds.)

Plus it totally doesn't sound pathetic. I've had an absolutely totally and utterly shit time since the ex husband left nearly two years ago and you're recent to it and it's extremely shitty.

Kenny, sorry to hear you are having a shit time. I have a strict rule of out of bed and dressed by 9am this half term otherwise I'd still be in bed by midday. (Although I am on the sofa now mumsnetting, I am working through my list of small admin tasks.)

Have you come across the Cinnamon Trust? It's a charity that arranges dog walking for older people with pets who can't exercise them as much as they'd like - so you help dogs and old people at the same time!

I would;

Join a gym and actually go! Get rid of my spare tyre and sort out my back.
Tidy up my French
Learn Welsh.
Join a choir.
Sort out my house.
Decorate.
Find a singles holiday to go on.
Walk a coastal pathway
Sort out all the books I have all over the house.
Learn something about art - I know nothing.
Read some more of the classics.
Catch up on watching a few films.
Days out to places I've always want to go to - Hadrian's wall, Lindisfarne....
Sleep. Lots of sleep.

Find a writing course and start my book.

Hi OP,

Sending you best wishes.

I would highly recommend Meetup, it is good fun and i found the people to be really nice. Most people are in the same boat as you, so it is easier to make friends and to enjoy the event together.

I moved to a new area and found it to be a great way to learn about my new city and meet new people. Look for the walking groups as well, they are a great way to explore locally with others nearby.

Take good care
Delphi

Hi OP as others have said you are NOT silly. I to am a teacher of an A level subject and marking etc. I also live in your area with no RL support so pm..if you want a chat.

I'm doing change over holiday home cleaning..as need the money but it does give some structure to the week. I try and build in a break with friends for a few days at the beginning and something near the end of holiday too. Last year we had 4 days in a tent..me a dog and two teens...not as awful as it sounds but the lack of another adults company was tough. ..womt repeat!

So will also be decorating and gardening...teens want to see bright lights of London so planning a few days in a premier inn on outskirts with a list of museums..etc.
I also acted as a steward with a friend at a local festival and got a free ticket..for a dc free weekend.

Is SBXH having dc's..could you grab a last minute few days in the sun with a good book?

I suppose all will depend on age of your DC's...I'll be mainly fighting to keep them off screens!😆..unless i want a bit of piece!

Planning is your friend..and you'd be good at that!...😂 But do get intouch.

Hi OP, didn't want to read and run.
The holidays can drag a bit at the best of times. Sounds like you've got a few excellent ideas. I really want to try Borrow My Doggy as well.
I had that kind of deep loneliness during a period at university. You think you'll never get out of it but you will. Vinspired and Do It volunteering seem good.
I'm using part of my summer for a bit of a fitness drive- working on exercising throughout the day and making healthy food instead of feeling like I am at the moment. Is there a goal you can work towards like this, a new hobby etc?
On another note, doesn't sound like your ex DH has really thought this through, seems like a very quick jump re: the pregnancy.

Some great suggestions here. Do you have any friends who aren't living close by that you can stay with for a weekend?

I would sit down and write yourself a plan. Even if you need a plan for every day of the holiday. What is going to be the thing you do each day. So when you go to bed/get up you know you have a purpose for the day ahead.

You know you are recovering when you look forward to a day alone, to yourself of nothing. Those days will come in time.

Hello, I am in a similar position, as my DC will be with my exH for the first 3 weeks of the summer holiday, they have never been for more than a week (we split 2.5 yrs ago), and so I am dreading the time without them.

I have decided mentally to just accept that I will feel lonely, but the time will eventually pass, and I need to be nice to myself in the meantime.

I have booked in extra work with clients for the weekdays. Helping my siblings with children's drop-offs etc wherever I can, and have let everyone know I am available to babysit if needed.

First weekend - no plans yet. Second weekend - I've volunteered to help with a homeless charity one weekend, and final weekend I am planning a cheap trip to Paris on Eurostar/Air BnB for a few days.

The working holidays idea looks great, I will look into that as well.

I've also started exercising at the local leisure centre and that has helped to lift my mood as well.

I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through, I hope you are ok. x

Thanks, everyone. Some more really good suggestions. Sadly no dc.

I am already doing things like singing in a choir etc. but stuff like that grinds to a hold over the summer holidays and will restart in September.

I have noted a few more ideas and will work on my plan. Trying to stay positive is number 1 .

There are lots on interesting free online courses on sites like Futurelearn if you wanted to stretch your brain and stay on the sofa - or if it's raining. I suspect the hols will fly with all of these great suggestions!

My son goes to Summer camp and I often bump into some of his teachers working tgere...they are also in the private sector and have 12 weeks holiday so supplement their income with this type of work . Is this something that could be a possibility OP ?

My son goes to Summer camp and I often bump into some of his teachers working tgere...they are also in the private sector and have 12 weeks holiday so supplement their income with this type of work . Is this something that could be a possibility OP ?