so upset and need a shoulder to cry on

[littlemissbitch]

hi there not really posted anything before and not sure if anyone will read this but here goes

my husband and i seem to have a bizarre relationship to say the least every one on the outside thinks that we are the perfect couple-if only they knew!!!

but the reasonim posting this is because this morning (mothers day)i have not had 2 words spoke to me, i told him yesterday (in a nice way) that i did not want anything bought for me, i knew my 2 year old had made me a card at creche and said i would be over the moon with breakfast in bed and a card made from my 5 year old (which he would have to help her with)

6-45 this morning my 2 year old woke up and i my husband made no attemp to get up so i did (bang goes my long lie and breakfast in bed) anyway 8-30 he comes downstairs and ignores me, my 5 year old comes down 10 mins later gives me big hug and kiss as she does ever morning but i quickly realise that she has no clue what day it is and has not made me a card (her dad never bothered to sit her down and explain and tell her why) i cant even put up the card that my 2 year old made cause im worried incase my 5 year old sees it and asks what its for and i have to explain which may upset her.

we are all going to my mums this afternoon, i have gone to a lot of effort to buy a lovely meal that my dad and husband were going to cook for us but i feel like screming, why should he be allowed to put on a show in front of my parents (once again) when he has hurt me so much this morning.

do i sound really sad/bitter/childish, i have no idea what i feel i might achieve by writing this but im at a point in my life just now where nothing makes sense anymore, i just want to put my kids in the car and drive and never stop.

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yes i do it everytime this happens most of the time i get no reply which makes my blood boil, i think being ignored is total mental torture. other times i will get some childish remark or be told that i started it. i think part of the problem is that i am now working and at college and have a good group of friends, my life outside the house is pretty near perfect and this seems to bug him, he was happier when the little ones were babies and i was stuck in everyday and he knew where i was.

p.s none of my life effects the kids, i go flexi learning at college and only work mornings when one daughter is at nursery and the other at school. in the afternoons i always do things with my youngest then same again when my other one is out school. im not sure why i felt i had to add this but my kids are always no 1 with me and i dont want anyone to think otherwise.

thank you littlelapin, had a quick scan will study it better once kids in bed

LMB this might sound a bit pants but you said he's going away in 2 weeks. If you can't say the things you want to say to his face why don't you write him a letter and put it in his things.Tell him all the things you've said on here and that you want him to read it and think about your future as a family and you want things to change. That includes marriage counselling or maybe even some anger management on his part. You're way too young to just accept this is the way life is and always will be. x

LMB> what goes in your life does and will affect your kids, if not now; in time. dont worry about anyone jugding you here and how you mother your kids because of your situation with your partner. but what's been said, is correct. you are YOUNG. (ok, im 30.) - just dont stay if things never improve. life is more than this...it really is.

sorry was not clear there, i was meaning none of MY life outside the house, its not like he is pissed of cause im out socialising and neglecting the children.

bampa that is a great idea, it would give him 2 months to think things through and avoid a big argument just a shame i have to wait 2 whole weeks

My dcs decided to get up at 6am on mothers day. I asked my dh to get up with them but he declared that it was too early for me to have a lie in. Honestly the man is such a pain sometimes. I had to cook my own special breakfast and take it back to bed to eat in a sulk. The unsupervised children then wrecked his Hifi system which is his pride and joy. Ha. We had a bit of a row and now we are fine and loveydovey again. He didn't get any of the chocolates that I had bought for myself from ds though.

Are you sure that you are not bottling things up? Why not shout at the man if he is being a git.

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ok quick update for anyone who might remember me, i have decided to leave my husband, now totally crapping myself about how i sort everything out, including making the big break from him. i was as nice as i could be in the 2 weeeks before he left for his work (i have to say most of it was a act for the kids) but since he has gone everything has been bliss, totally made me think that i could do this on my own.

final straw was just before tea time when i turned on my old mobile that i got rid of in january, he had called it the day i had stopped using it and left me a voice mail asking where i had put something, but the message was so wankerish (if thats a word) that it just confirmed what i already really knew, the guy i a total prick and i dont want to be with him at all anymore.

please remember that this has been going on a while with everything building up, the 3 month old text mesgage just sealed it, even when he is hundreds of miles away just hearing his voice makes my stomoch turn summersaults and i feel all that nervous way (and i dont mean that in a nice way but in a feeling sick way)

has anyone else been here before and if so can you give me some advice/encouragment, hopefully in the form of how fantastic your life is 6 months down the line.

p.s just being nosey but why do people delete there messages

Message withdrawn

ok quick update for anyone who might remember me, i have decided to leave my husband, now totally crapping myself about how i sort everything out, including making the big break from him. i was as nice as i could be in the 2 weeeks before he left for his work (i have to say most of it was a act for the kids) but since he has gone everything has been bliss, totally made me think that i could do this on my own.

final straw was just before tea time when i turned on my old mobile that i got rid of in january, he had called it the day i had stopped using it and left me a voice mail asking where i had put something, but the message was so wankerish (if thats a word) that it just confirmed what i already really knew, the guy i a total prick and i dont want to be with him at all anymore.

please remember that this has been going on a while with everything building up, the 3 month old text mesgage just sealed it, even when he is hundreds of miles away just hearing his voice makes my stomoch turn summersaults and i feel all that nervous way (and i dont mean that in a nice way but in a feeling sick way)

has anyone else been here before and if so can you give me some advice/encouragment, hopefully in the form of how fantastic your life is 6 months down the line.

i havent regretted for a single day leaving my exh

financially it's poo but i feel so bloody free, i'd never go back