Feel pretty silly for asking but stumped...

[MollyWantsACracker]

Right then. Next weekend I'm going to (smallish) music festival with my reasonably new partner.

He gave me the heads up that there's a good chance we will run into the wife of a mate of his who is a notorious busybody/nosey-parker who is also blessed with a solid brass neck.
She has form for quizzing people up and down it seems. "where did you meet?" and "how old are you anyway?" are typical questions I might expect from this person.
As it happens, we met on-line, and I'm a good bit older than him.

He's a little worried that I would be offended by this person, and he's not totally wrong.

Can anyone help me (us!!) with some good one-liners to have at the ready to deal with the likes of this person. I don't really want to say we met online, as she'll want to know where etc. I don't want to resort to Mind your Own Business either as it sounds rude.
I'm pretty confident generally, but struggle a bit with people her, being a reasonably polite person myself.

(Bf is dreading the thoughts of her as well)

I can't believe I'm giving this headspace but I am!

Why don't you make it into a game to show her how ridiculous it is

Her - where did you meet?
You: have a guess ....... but don't tell her

Her- how old are you?
You: older than myley Cyrus but younger than Cher .... have a best guess ... don't reveal, just look like you're enjoying yourself

Re the age question. I would be tempted to resort to one of my Nan's answers...."As old as my nose, and a little bit older than my teeth".

Answer every question with a smile and another question...be as vague as you can and turn the spot check interrogation on her

Anyone else got an unsolicited comment about people feeling uncomfortable with some personal questions or are are we done with it Being a Fuss About Nothing, Weirdos, Wankers and Bullying

Google Ray McCooney and his piccolo (Little Britain) for some good, and completely mad, responses

Anyone else got an unsolicited comment about people feeling uncomfortable with some personal questions or are are we done with it Being a Fuss About Nothing, Weirdos, Wankers and Bullying

Posting on a chat forum is rather soliciting comment.

And they're hardly personal questions nor is it exactly nice to be thinking of ways to confuse or embarrass someone for chatting. Sure isn't small talk hard enough as it is. If I asked my partner's mate's new girlfriend something innocuous and she was obtuse back I'd make sure it wasn't me who came out of it looking like a tit.

Jeez louise.... I wrote here looking to for a little lighthearted advice (thank you to those that gave it)

As for those accusing me of being I'm a weirdo, and a bully?
Wow.... Unbelievable.

thanks v much to the more helpful of you who seemed to get what I was asking for 😻 - I appreciate it x

Apologies for grammar, writing on phone on jiggly train!

Google Ray McCooney and his piccolo (Little Britain) for some good, and completely mad, responses

Yes!

Sometimes seemingly innocuous questions have complex answers or information you might want to casually disclose.

Asking the question is fair enough, but to keep pushing if you get a vague response is at best thoughtless.

What's your job? Someone might not want to tell you that they are a prison or police officer (especially in a public place in hearing of others), or that they work for a train company or airline if the response to that has often been a monologue of every bad travel experience ever, or that they work for the job centre or benefits agency or with refugee and asylum seekers if they are used to being on the receiving end of a long rant about everything that is wrong with the system...

Where did you meet? Might not want to tell you it was at rehab.

Where does your kid go to school? Might not want to tell you they are at a PRU

So ask the question by all means, but if you get a vague or 'obtuse' response, ask yourself before persuing it whether you really thought they misunderstood, or whether you are putting your idle curiosity above their right to not share personal information.

Talk about overthinking it. Who mentioned a daring double life as a train company employee anyway?

You didn't meet committing some heinous crime together nor is your partner below the age of consent so why can't you just answer truthfully? You're going to be asked it more often than just by her if you stay together and I honestly don't see the issue.

I'm an overthinker too OP I usually end up tongue tied and stutter having a thread like this is good

Age- I'm the same age as you, from the looks of it.

If she's younger and answers... No you're not. I'm xxx and you look much older than xxx

Look mortified, you're only xxxx? I am sooo sooo sorry. Back away slowly, like you're so embarrassed because you genuinely believed her to be 10-15 years older than her real age. and mutter something about alcohol and sun worshiping having its price, as you retreat.

I met dh online and I'm 5 years older than him. At first I was mortified when people asked (his ex asked once and I told her to just ask him) and now i just don't care. I just speak the truth and nothing but the truth about everything and it frees you. Truly.