New BF lying about his age!

[FreshFigs]

I met someone on OLD about three months ago. On his profile it gave his age as 48. I've always thought that he looks slightly older. He looks after himself though, eats well, excercises etc. But a few conversations have made me suspicious.

Anyway... I looked him up on 192 and it gives his age as 55 - 59 !!!!

Obviously it's just a number, 192 isn't always accurate. But it's the lie that bothers me. I'm wondering when / if he's going to amit to it.

Like it Brog...

Then when he's rearranging his face you can mention your triplets and your 80k debt

I want to be there

Pregnant with triplets?

I don't get why people are trying to claim that women knocking years out is any different from men. It isn't. I have friends who've turned up to meet women who are ten years older than their profile stated and pictures presented... It's no less irritating for them then it is for me to turn up to someone different then advertised. It's about honesty, not gender. Men and women both have insecurities about age, weight, looks, status... Tbh women are far less honest in how they present themselves online then men are.

The one main difference is that women never add years. I've twice turn up to dates with young early 20 somethings who've posed as 30's online because they wanted a 30 something who took them seriously 🙄

HildaOg

Men lie to get an even wider age gap. Women lie to narrow the age gap. Different thing entirely. One is to equalise an imbalance and the other is a sense of entitlement. If you don't understand that difference then I guess it seems the same..............

So it's okay for a woman to lie about her age because she assumes men do?

Statistically, according to ok Cupid, women are more likely to lie about their age. Men are more likely to lie about their height.

But on your logic, brog, I should lie about my age because the women I want to meet - within a few years of my age, above or below - will assume I'm lying and will think I'm actually 50, but saying im early 40s. So I have to pretend I'm mid 30s, so they'll think I'm actually the age that I am, so I can meet someone my own age?

Nah, that's rubbish, I'll just keep on being honest and screen out the game players.

But why just knock a year off your age - 32 pretending to be 31?! Any ideas?

Online security polar? Some people don't want to put too much identifying information online, including year of birth

Well, I'm not the judge of what's OK and what's not ok. People choose to present themselves either honestly or dishonestly.

I choose to be completely honest. So we have that in common, so obviously I'm not arguing that you 'should' lie , where did you get that from??? I'm saying it is so common it is to be expected sadly.

I would just put ''real age'' in your profile . You can't control what other people choose to do.

however there is a different motivation behind women's lie and men's lie and if you can't acknowledge that then you're being obtuse.

I don't know how OKcupid get that information. I'd be interested. It's true, men also lie about their height.

There is an agency in Dublin and you have to register with your passport! I am tempted by the idea of knowing for certain what height and age the men are but it might be that men are still driving by refusing to meet women their own age and so they're still in control.

But it's an interesting idea. I am coming around to the idea of just being flirtier in real life. If I approach and flirt with men a few years younger they seem happy a woman is paying them attention yet the same men go on line and put 25-35 in their search!!! I just need to be braver in real life. But then you don't know who is single! And the idea of flirting with men who are in a relationship makes me crinnge. I'd burn in hell obviously [devil]

Oh God, I hate OLD sometimes. I put my actual age as I want someone age-appropriate, but I get a lot of messages from men much older than my preferred age bracket (often older than my dad!) and I've had men admit they are older than their posted age (but they usually tell me how youthful they act/look. I really don't get why men think dating someone young enough to be their daughter is feasible, or even a good idea!

Only men get to say that they're young for their age! If a woman their own age said it back to them it would be meaningless {sigh!}

Yeah it's icky, isn't it? The Paris ratio (I think it's called) - a man's ideal age for his partner is half his age plus 7.

Which is bollocks, of course. I've got female friends who are 28, 29, and they're nice but..

They never want to think about pension planning and slippers and cocoa. We just have nothing in common..

And who came up with that Paris ratio? A man!

Men are clearly attracted to women half their age + 7 but if they don't want to be used as a meal ticket or a stop gap then they'd be wise to look for somebody closer to their own age.

But how many women are genuinely physically attracted to a man that much older than they are themselves?? Do the men who create the Paris ratio care about what women want? You see the issue/? it 's all lead by men who don't care about what women want or think or desire

brog - okc has millions of subscribers, so they can compare what people say about their age with demographic information about the population. They find that people's stated ages gravitate towards the 29, 39 etc, hardly any 30, 40 year olds - when it should be a smooth distribution in line with the general population.

They also found the same thing with men's heights (as in, very few 5'10" or 5'11" men but lots and lots of 6' men) , but not women's.

But they found the bunching effect, of people saying they were 29 or 39 rather than 30 or 40, was significantly higher with women than with men.

ps, I don't think the average man believes in ''the paris ratio'' btw

I think some woody allen type came up with that and somehow it became famous!

So at 47 I'd have to date a man older than my father I think. who wouldn't rather stay single for ever!

I don't think people are saying the Paris ratio is a good guideline to follow - it's a calculation based upon what men say they want after surveying them - not recommended as a rule for men to follow.

yes, that would be an 80 year old man. Is that right?

80 divided by two = 40, plus 7 = 47

ha ha!

When I dated the man 7 years older than me, I noticed it, he couldn't walk as fast as me, he always had an ache or a pain

And it's a calculation of how men's expectations are wrong, not a rule of thumb for men to find a partner.

Many men have an overinflated sense of their attractiveness, and think a young woman wants a slightly chubby bald guy who's 20 years older than her. They do have some success (because some women are attracted to men who pay for everything...) but it's slightly sad. In both cases..

I know, it's a completely un-reigned in fantasy! That's all it is. No woman is every going to say take 7 years off my age and double my age and that seems about right, so it's a fantasy that took wind.

It's like women wanting a man at least six inches taller than them, when apparently shorter than average men make better husbands and are actually less prone to abusive behaviour than taller men.

People are weird.

I still don't like people who start off with a lie though. I'd rather date someone who was honest from the get go

Interesting that they are using demographic stats to tell whether people are lying or telling the truth. You could say that men of 6' need less help finding a date (I don't know if that's necessarily true though, I think it's gift of the gab and confidence) but to use that as an example, you might expect there to be fewer tall men on okcupid. Not sure if that holds up though

Some women set filters for height..

The women are victims so it's OK for them to lie is bs. Just because some older men think they can attract a younger woman doesn't mean they can... Just as a lot of women like to think they can appeal to the better looking and/or richer men...

Man or woman, you can knock ten years off your age, three stone off your weight, airbrush all the imperfections from your face and you'll get a lot more 'interest' then your genuine self but those people aren't going to be interested in your genuine self, better be honest and attract the few who are.

People can see who looks at their profile so they'll see you and either like your description and photos or not. If they're not accurate, it's pointless, you're just tricking someone into dating you. And that's not going to be successful.

I prefer honesty from the start in everything

2 good pieces of relevant advice from Marc and Angels blog 30 things to stop doing:

19 Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

24 Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.