This is a long story but I'm going to keep it as short as I can. My DH is an only child who was raised by his mother alone in his grandparents house. His Nan mostly raised him but her husband was violent and abusive towards her and my DH grew up witnessing this. Because of that we have had a turbulent relationship as he has a quick temper and shows the same traits that his grandfather had on occasion. We have been through gambling problems, compulsive lying, verbal abuse and I have stood by him as I don't believe that, although he is responsible for his own actions, that he can always keep how he acts/reacts to things. Every time we have a bad patch he leaves and goes straight to his mums/nans house for a few days/ a week at a time leaving me with our 3 children (DS 4, DD 2 and DS 9months) and unbeknown to me was telling his mother everything about our relationship and blaming everything on me. One Sunday we were having lunch at MILS house and my husband and I were having a minor squabble and she decided to get involved (she claims she was defending her 39year old son...) telling me that I need to grow up and that she knows all about how I treat her son etc. Which ultimately ended in her lunging at me whilst I was holding 1year old DD with my eldest and baby next to me. My DH managed to restrain her and shut her in another room. He then drove us home berating me the whole way because it's my fault as I wound her up and she was only defending him, dropped me and the kids home and went back to check on his mother and stayed there for 2days. I want nothing to do with the woman after what she did, not so much about me but if she had got at me then my DD would have been hurt so I wont be seeing her again, nor will the kids. I tried to get my husband to see that he should be on our side as his wife and kids but to this day defends his mothers actions and says that I'm unreasonable in thinking that I feel as though he should stay away from her too and be just as disgusted with her for her actions but he refuses to acknowledge how I feel. He months later fell out with her himself because she made him feel guilty for not spending his birthday with her because we went out as a family with the kids (his choice) and she didn't bother speaking to him for a month. He turned around at that point and said he'd had enough of her and was quite happy to leave things how the were and that he was sorry that he ever took her side in the first place. We weren't getting on very well for the last week or so and despite how I feel he's gone straight back to his mums house and is still there now. I've told him that I've had enough of all of it (the lying etc but it's too much to elaborate on) on top of the issues with his mother and I can't do it anymore but he's was texting me all yesterday and today so far telling me how much he loves me and doesn't want to loose but he believes that I am stubborn and pigheaded about the situation and that I'm controlling and manipulative! I don't know what to think anymore! Am I right, is he right, the whole situation is killing me and I don't know what to do. Help!