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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hand hold please - think he has a girlfriend on Facebook

50 replies

Summershines · 14/05/2017 17:38

Name changed for this as it could be outing

Been with DP two years. He's always told me he's very anti social media - he doesn't spend much time on his phone so I had no reason to doubt him (why would I anyway? Confused )

Was on Facebook don't often use it, haven't posted for months and months - synced my contact list and it comes up with contacts who are on Facebook (with the option to add). To my surprise DP had a profile but I thought maybe it was just one he didn't use.

I clicked on it anyway and some of his posts were visible - he had a recent photo where a woman had commented 'my love ❤️'

I haven't looked much more yet. I feel sick. My heart is beating about ten times as fast as usual. I can't believe this is happening

I thought we were happy - barely argue. Went out for dinner Friday night and it was lovely. I'm so shocked so confused so hurt. Is there any way this cold be a misunderstanding??? I'm really trying to think of How it could be.

I feel so sick and anxious.

OP posts:
Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 14/05/2017 17:40

If it was me I would 'like' the pic and sit back and wait it out. .

SaltySalt · 14/05/2017 17:40

Send him a friend request too

CocktailsInTheSunshine · 14/05/2017 17:41

Add him as a friend.

WellErrr · 14/05/2017 17:42

What an odd, public way to have an affair Confused

Summershines · 14/05/2017 17:42

I don't have the option to like only to share

If I add him he might delete evidence? Or block me?
I'm scared to look through his profile anymore

OP posts:
AfunaMbatata · 14/05/2017 17:42

Comment on the pic

Summershines · 14/05/2017 17:44

We have been on and off but the comment is from when we've been together

Surely in a couple of months nothing substantial could have formed

OP posts:
GlitteryFluff · 14/05/2017 17:44

I'd share it
'My lovely dp and his girfirend.'

Note: I wouldn't actually but wish I was brave enough to.

Sorry op Flowers

Theimpossiblegirl · 14/05/2017 17:46

I'm sorry you're going through this, it's shitty. If you think it's evidence and you don't want it to vanish- take a screenshot. Do you know her? Try a bit of stalking on her profile.

Summershines · 14/05/2017 17:46

Fuck it I'm just going to ask him.

OP posts:
Summershines · 14/05/2017 17:47

Good idea I'll screen shot first

OP posts:
JK1773 · 14/05/2017 17:47

Look again and see what more there is. It will be difficult but make sure you see all that there is before you confront him. It doesn't look good x

Trickycat · 14/05/2017 17:47

It is definitely him?
Sadly people we trust are capable of anything. Sorry, you must be reeling. Do you live together or share a bank account?

GreenHairDontCare · 14/05/2017 17:48

Is it definitely him? Is it a photo of him?

GreenHairDontCare · 14/05/2017 17:48

Oh sorry just reread and he came up as a contact.

peppatax · 14/05/2017 17:49

You definitely need to screenshot it

DixieNormas · 14/05/2017 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peppatax · 14/05/2017 17:50

You say on/off - do you live together? How often do you see him?

Notmyrealname85 · 14/05/2017 17:51

Good luck OP Flowers

Gallavich · 14/05/2017 17:52

Screenshot everything. Can you click on her profile?

c3pu · 14/05/2017 17:52

Screen shot it, trawl through the woman's profile, Google her name.

Then repeat the process for him.

Hiphopopotamus · 14/05/2017 17:52

Screen shot it. Also click on the person who left the comment to see her profile. She might have more lax privacy settings that might let you see more. Unfortunately knowledge is power even when it knowledge you'd rather not know!

Hiphopopotamus · 14/05/2017 17:52

Oops - double x post!!

Rednailsandnaeknickers · 14/05/2017 17:53

OP, if he is screwing around (which looks likely) he's not going to just fess up with yeah you got me bang to rights.

He will likely follow the "Cheaters Script" i.e. minimise, deny, minimise, gaslight you so you think you are crazy/paranoid, deny, shout about you not trusting him, claim it's a fake by a friend, deny deny deny.

Screenshot everything, take notes of her details, prepare yourself. I'm so sorry.

Itsallaswizz · 14/05/2017 17:54

Have you asked him?

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