Obnoxious Husband!!

[willywanger]

Jekkle and Hyde = My Husband

He's kind
Thoughtful
Loving
Complementary
onlyto me though...

Then he's
Rude to friends and family members, shop staff, anyone really
Never wrong about anything
Hogs the remote control 24/7 and doesn't like me to watch what I want
Is really sulky if I do something and he isn't included
Doesn't like me going out with my friends
Doesn't like me wearing a top that shows a bit of cleavage
Calls my friends and family all the time
Is moody
Makes my 2 children feel uneasy with his moods.
He slams things about, throws things, bashes things - and then would tell the children off for doing the same, it's one rule for him and one for them
He blames me for putting weight on
He blames me for nearly everything he's not happy with
He's aggressive when he's driving and purposely blocks people from pulling out of side roads - it makes me cringe
He doesn't thank people
He snaps at the kids
The kids don't want to spend time with him
He never takes no for an answer where sex is concerned and I will nearly always give into him cos it's easier
He accuses me of being a liar
If I suggest we go somewhere he will purposely ignore it or make it so we don't go
If he wants to go somewhere we go! No choice!
He constantly breaks promises with the kids
If im making a cupa and offer him one he will always say no but then want one later
He doesn't help around the house but moans about the mess it's in
He calls the kids tramps
He doesn't have any friends - I mean none cos apparently they let you down!!!
He has very high expectations of the kids but then seems to purposely get disappointed when he gets let down by them!
He makes out he's fun and is overly loud in public but then is the opposite at home
He can't sit down and relax
He doesn't like anything I like but I'm sure it's to be objectionable

The list goes on and on... I really have got sick of this mans attitude and I'm starting to hate him.
Anyone else living with this shit?

No. And I wouldn't for five minutes.

I'm paraphrasing someone's famous quote but 'a person who is nice to you and awful to the waiter is not a nice person'.

He's awful. Leave. You won't regret it.

Im assumming he isnt the father of your kids? I only read to the bit about the kids feeling uneasy and thought 'why are you with him'

Jekyll and Hyde? He sounds like a complete sociopath!

Now let's look at his redeeming features: kind, thoughtful, loving, complimentary - only to you though. Ever wondered why? Especially when he's forcing you to have sex with him?

Your post makes me feel uncomfortable. He's horrible. Not just to others, but to you, too. Please read it back and imagine a friend had posted it

Do you have to ask ? He's sound horrible.

Blimey, sorry to be blunt, but how have you allowed him to stay in your life for this long? That's a crazy way to live. You know you don't have to be with someone whose sole purpose in life is to inflict misery. I'll never understand how people who behave this way think that it's acceptable.

If hes coercing you into sex and doesn't take no for an answer, he's at best sexually abusive, at worst he's raping you (aware they aren't mutually exclusive).

I wouldn't put up with this, no.

Why would I live with someone like that? Nowhere near the standards I'd expect from anyone I'd want to spend any time with, let alone be married to.

I'd give you a medal for keeping him away from the rest of the female population!

This has got to be made up, surely? He sounds dreadful and scary.

He sounds a right tosser.

Here you go op 🥇

'Bargain' husband is being enabled by you staying. In his mind, his behaviour is entitled and acceptable. Leave him for your sake, for your children's sake and for his own sake...he may be forced to see the reality that he is a monster then.

I would not put up with someone like this for 5 minutes. Hard to see why you have. Why have you? Since you know from the sounds of it that he's a complete tosser.

You say he's kind and thoughtful to you, but in the next paragraph list all the vile and horrible things he says and does to you and your children.

You must have got very lost somehow to put up with all this, especially when at the same time you are clear in many ways about what is happening .

How he is with your children is really awful for them, I feel so sorry for them.

abusive and potentially a rapist - so please call WA and get rid.

He isn't at all kind and loving to you at all. He is just as abusive towards you as he is towards the kids and everybody else. Is he the father of your kids? If not, why on earth are you with a man who treats your kids like this. Even ifheisthe father, the question is the same.

He sounds vile. No way would I be putting up with that sort of behaviour, I deserve better and I'm sure you do too OP.

He is abusive. LTB.

He rapes you and bullies your kids? No he isn't kind, thoughtful, or loving. Protect your children and get out.

And..... This is who he is and you do yourself and your children no favours by hanging around for him to be different. You have choices and staying in a toxic environment is a choice, a not very wise one but a choice nether the less.

Your power wasn't taken, it was surrendered but the good news is, you can take it back at anytime.

He's not even nice to you, reading that. He is an aggressive, abusive rapist who should be nowhere near your children.

You're prepared to put up with him being a disgusting bully to your children because he's 'lovely' to you (except when he's sulking, banging things about, insulting you about your weight, blaming you for 'everything', coercing you into sex, insulting your friends & family ... etc, etc.)

What exactly is there to like?

As PP have said, put your children first and leave.

You should leave him asap. It will never ever get better. Please listen to that. Never ever. He won't change. He is damaging your children so if nothing else keep that in your mind like a mantra to find the strength to do this.

He's a bully
He's a rapist
He's a cunt
He's abusing you anc your children
LTB.

He sounds like a sociopath and possibly has traits of a personality disorder. I don't know if he falls into narcissistic personality disorder or anti social personality but it sounds that bad.

Get out now! Protect your kids. Because believe me if you don't, they will grow up completely messed up, will blame you and are likely to cut not just him out of their lives but you as well.

Thanks for confirming what I've been thinking myself.

Admitting the list he is actually doing was hard for me to face and I have read it back and yes he is vile and I can only say I've stayed because I'm stupid and have allowed myself to be abused.
I need to leave but I'm scared. I don't work and I'm dependant on him. I want to leave and I want my kids to have a fun life without having to walk on egg shells around this obnoxious man.
I know what I've got to do...
Thanks for your input