Just found out he's been fucking my best friend

[fellingdowntoday]

She won't reply to my messages he's gone and I'm raging

We were together 4.5 years and have a DD. I found out as her 7yo told my 7yo your step dad is always on the phone to my mum and she always goes in a different room.

Poor kids, poor, poor kids. My DD had this secret for a week and was scared to tell me. So called friend is married and told her husband she wants to be with my partner.

What a fucking mess, I'm devastated

I'm so sorry to hear that . I feel really sorry for the children. What a mess.

A double betrayal.

They deserve each other.

You deserve better.
So does your DD.

Make sure your DD understands none of this is her fault in any way, and she is not in any way responsible for the fallout by dint of telling you what she knew. Hug her tight.

Ugh, it's hideous what they've done, selfish bastards. I wish there was something I could say to make this better but I know there really isn't. It's shit, and it will be shit for a while but you will come out the other side and your future will be better for having neither of these cunts in it. Do you have any support OP? I hope there's someone who can come and give you a hug and listen to you rant, we're here if not though

Keep calm then reek revenge where are you I will help what a twat ❤️

I'm so, so sorry. What a disgusting pair and I feel for the children too. What IRL support do you have?

Be prepared for a sense of humiliation, then a lot of white hot anger and even thoughts of violent revenge, followed by a deep sense of loss.

Grief will follow, and righteous anger on behalf of your child and on your own behalf too, for the avenues that were foreclosed when you chose to get involved with such a loser.

It will be like getting used to a death.

I've just got off the phone to him. He wants to give it a go with her. Actually feel calmer now.
I was raging last night and was trying to get him over so I could punch him! Ridiculous I know! I threw a couple of things and that made me feel better lol.
My DD has been reassured this is not her fault and that everything will be ok. And there are lots of people giving me support. Trouble is 5 of us in the friendship group, I want them to pick me but know that's unreasonable. Shit this is gonna be so hard

My Dad fucked off with my mums best friend (after the divorce but still a huge mess and betrayal as he'd been abusive to my mum and us and we had been confiding in her whilst she was secretly screwing him).

for you. It's shit.

Trouble is 5 of us in the friendship group, I want them to pick me but know that's unreasonable.

Hardly, I would be disgusted if a friend of mine treated another friend this way.

I would also distance myself from a 'friend' who was having an affair, let alone with someone attached to another from the group.

Really and truly, you don't want a man who is capable of or operates like this.

It will be hard, what a betrayal.
Concentrate on you now, what you are doing, how you can feel better.

Fuck them.
They are worthless to you.

The friends in your group can't continue to be friends with both of you, surely? Yes this will split the group. Remember she chose this. If the others don't disassociate with her, could you continue to be friends with them?

There relationship wont last. They wont trust each other deep down.once all tbe excitements dome with they will hate eaxh other. Fingers crossed they pull each other apart

They're a disgrace, and unless you are some sort of abusive monster I'm certain that your mutual friends will take your side.

I expect the two of them have already resigned themselves to the fallout, but they're no longer your concern. Take whatever support you can get, focus on the practicalities and see a solicitor. Keeping your dignity doesn't mean taking it lying down.

Op if your friends have any sense they will take your side. If they don't then I'd wonder how much of a good friend they were in the first place.

You're dealing with this fantastically

Today 05:19 ladylunchalot1

Keep calm then reek revenge where are you I will help what a twat

I've been through this. You will find out who your true friends are. To be honest it wasn't a complete shock when some didn't completely disassociate from OW but all the ones I 'knew' were my friends totally cut her off. Someone who tried to stay friends with both of us (and I deliberately drifted away from) recently tried to get back in touch because her DP cheated and now she understands what it feels like. She fell for all their star crossed lovers bullshit. Needless to say I can sympathise with her current plight but I'm not interested.

Look after yourself. They are vile, despicable shits and deserve each other.

At least you now know who and what they are. A pair of complete shits who deserve each other. It certainly won't feel like it now but they've done you a favour.

I've been there once upon a time (twice actually and with the same "friend"!) and it was totally devastating, so I can understand a little of what you're going through, although fortunately for me there were no children involved. It's like a double bereavement. A total betrayal beyond description. In time you will heal and come out the other side but they will have to live with what they've done to both families. And it won't make them happy, believe me. Their relationship is poisoned from the off, and they will never, ever be able to trust each other. That will be their punishment and what a just punishment it will be. Meanwhile, you'll be getting on with your life and making a better future than the one you had with them in it.

Scumbags the pair of them.
Your life will be better without them.

Sorry to hear this. My h of 15 years is doing something similar with a 'friend'. It is so painful and I don't think it feels better quickly.

Some fucking friend. Ultimate betrayal.

She's obviously not a true friend. How awful for this to happen to you.

Totally disregard for the hurt caused to all the children as well.

I would have thought that your mutual friends see her for who she is nothing but a Judas. How do they sleep at night.

Have you spoken to her DH?

Yes I've spoken to her DH. He was aware of messages between them months ago. The promised it would stop and decided not to tell me.

He's mortified, they have only been married a year.

Are you married?
Put all his stuff in the garden with a text that he needs pick it up ASAP. .

Pair of skanks.Hope he gets knobrot and she the fanjo equivalent.
Best get yourself STI tested just in case.
So sorry that this has happened to you.