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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you this is a big age gap

34 replies

mydshines · 03/05/2017 03:09

Well an update from my sister. She has no further contact with her ex. Which is fine, great etc. But she is 34 and today she informed me she went on a date with this guy and really like him. But I was like great until she said he is 68. I'm like WTF. I personally think it's a bit old

OP posts:
SuperBeagle · 03/05/2017 03:13

It's a big age gap. That's an objective fact. But it's her prerogative who she dates. They're both consenting adults.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 03/05/2017 03:21

It's literally double her age, so yes, I think it's a big age gap.

As long as they're happy though, I don't think it matters.

user1486956786 · 03/05/2017 03:26

It is a big gap but it does happen. I think it's ok though as she is 34, so very much an adult. It would be a concern if she was very young.

WanderingTrolley1 · 03/05/2017 03:36

Massive age gap.

mydshines · 03/05/2017 03:50

To be fair from what she said s he seems to be nice. However has made some noises about. No wanting marriage etc, which is fine as he is being upfront and honest. Sister seems to be (mad) about him.
He goes away a lot wouldn't be a full on long time thing. She is more worried that he might not see her again.
She confessed that breaking the news to family and friends would be a bit oh
He is lot older than our in uncles, etc dad of friends.

OP posts:
Nellyphants · 03/05/2017 05:50

She's only been on one date. She's not long out of a relationship, she needs to chill

Aquamarine1029 · 03/05/2017 05:53

She's a grown woman. Stay out of it. Who she is with is none of your business.

Aussiebean · 03/05/2017 06:44

Regardless of age (which is huge) I would be more concerned that she is already planning the future with someone she has been out with once. Smacks of desperation.

She should be going on many more dates with him before she even considers what to tell the wider family.

If this is the first date after the ex and this is her thinking she sounds like she is trying to replace her ex as quickly as possible.

Also interesting that she has chosen someone who has said he won't commit to her fully. If I remember correctly, wasn't that the problem with her ex?

Kittencatkins123 · 03/05/2017 07:32

Way too much fast forwarding going on and agree not great on the unavailable guy front. I would advise her to keep dating and chill! Or better yet have a dating break. Sounds like a mega rebound Sad

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 03/05/2017 07:39

Huge age gap, and I say that as someone married to a man 14 years older!

Of course it's her business but Imwould be worried if it was my dsis.

hellsbellsmelons · 03/05/2017 09:29

It find that really 'icky'
Sorry but I do.
It would be like me dating my dad
I'll bet he has a wrinkly saggy arse.
And I'm sure she'll love it when she's nursing him through his final months.
Just no way!
I'm 48 and wouldn't dream of dating a 68 YO man.
Does she have 'daddy' issues?
Just curious about that.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 03/05/2017 11:02

It's a huge gap and. No doubt the 'age is just a number' brigade will be along soon to say love will overcome all obstacles.

SandyY2K · 03/05/2017 13:36

She's a grown woman. Stay out of it. Who she is with is none of your business.

Uncalled for.

It's just a question about her sister and a reasonable question.

I don't think anyone can say it's not a large gap. It certainly is.

People loose confidence after abusive relationships and get into other questionable relationships.

It might not even last.

category12 · 03/05/2017 14:04

If it's been one date, you are jumping the gun a tad (and so is she, if she's raving about him). Worry in a few months time.

category12 · 03/05/2017 14:06

I would be more worried by the speed at which she's trying to get into another relationship than the age gap.

deadringer · 03/05/2017 19:20

It is her business but you asked for opinions so, at 34 she is in the prime of her life and he is heading towards old age. I am in my 50s and tbh wouldn't be interested in a man of 68. My sister married a man 20 years older, fine when she was 30 and he was 50 and pretty fit, now she is in her fifties, fit and well and still very attractive, where he is nearly 80 and in very poor health. It works out for plenty of people but not ideal imho.

Princesspinkgirl · 03/05/2017 20:18

My now EX DH and i had a 26 year gap it did fail obvs im now with a younger guy only 3 years older than me

HildaOg · 03/05/2017 22:24

Is he very rich and successful? I couldn't imagine going for a man that age although some men might be so impressive that they transcend age. Bill Gates is so smart and successful that if he was single, lots of thirty somethings would be tripping over each other to date him.

Now Bill the Builder down the road, she'd have to be desperate and I'd be worried.

HelenaDove · 03/05/2017 23:44

hellsbells im nearly 44 and DH is 67. Our relationship is no longer physical but i would much rather be with him than out on a dating scene where shaved off pubic hair and anal have become mainstream.

And the wrinkly saggy arse comment is ageist and uncalled for.

LineysRun · 03/05/2017 23:46

Is he an ageing rocker?

LineysRun · 03/05/2017 23:49

Chris Rea is 66 and he's lovely.

HelenaDove · 03/05/2017 23:49

Touch of misogyny on this thread too. Assuming that if women prefer older men they must be gold diggers.

pumpkinmoon1 · 03/05/2017 23:51

He's almost 70! I'm 34 and would never even consider it. It does sound like he is after anything serious, and if she's on the same page that would make it a little easier, but I don't think she is. She would be sacrificing a lot to get involved with him.

aibudaughter · 03/05/2017 23:58

Is he rich?

HildaOg · 04/05/2017 00:05

Helena; it's not misogyny, it's human nature. A charasmatic genius multi millionaire/billionaire is going to appeal to lots of women because they've proved themselves top dog and can provide opportunities that most people can only dream of. That's the attraction.

An old guy with nothing but liver spots and wrinkles to offer isn't a catch.

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