SOoooo, confession time! Who is your 'one that got away'.

[Whatawaytomakealiving]

Do you look back and know you should be with someone else? Do you wish a relationship had developed further? Who ended it? Why did you make the choices you made? Have you any regrets; if no regrets have you dreams of what could have been?
I can remember as a twenty something listening to my fiancé talking on the telephone to a friend of ours that was announcing his engagement. I felt like I was actually going to faint. He couldn't be marrying someone else. He' cared for me, he was a soldier and we were penpals( hey remember those prior to social media). We had got to know him whilst on holiday. He was always there for me and I think I thought my 'back up plan'. I know I sound awful, it didn't feel like that. I think I was biding my time. I didn't end up with either of them, my RAF penpal or my fiancé.
What is your story?

Way too many individual stories to comment on but I hope you are learning from each other's experiences.
There is something in thinking it may all come round again, I always thought that with my RAF man and we did have various points where one or other of us was single. He even sat, a week into his marriage, held my hand and told me he had made a mistake. I just remember feeling dreadful for his new wife. Not now though, very happy with my partner and my RAF man has emigrated after divorcing and remarrying.
To Adrian I would say "go for it" you never know and (sorry can't look back as I type) but who ever shared about not being with a friend because of infertility, he wants to be with you, give him a chance too.

Cherry I also really like your thoughts on it being about us ourselves rather than the other person. Having an inner contentment, timing, stage of life, a maturity are all part of that.
Also love the very to the point, short and sweet 'yes, Dave'. Would you like to add more about 'Dave'?

Again thanks for sharing so good to read.

Someone I worked with, he was everything but I'm shit at reading signs and wasn't sure if he was in to me, low self esteem told he wouldn't be. We would meet for lunch, patrol together, spend hours talking online at night. I was falling for him so badly and I just had to break free and he asked someone what happened, guess he did care but I ballsed it up, my life would have web completely different it chokes me to think about it

Love of my life at uni. I was in a relationship and so was he. We had a 'fling', both loved each other but it never went further.

Married my then bf, never stopped thinking about the other guy. Bumped into each other a few years back when my marriage was breaking down (violent ex) and he was there, as a friend, throughout.

We're now engaged and expecting!

After a tough time, gorgeous news Kate.
Redhead is it too late to get in touch with him again?

One, just one when I was 18, both went to the same college, would bump in to each other. Looking back there were signs that he like me, but it never happened. Once we left I never saw him again. Happily married now, but he was my soulmate. Frequently think of hime, years later.

I threw mine away. I was so young and stupid. We were part of a flat share at university. He was intelligent and fascinating, I could have listened to him talk forever. I'll call him J.

He fell for me at a time when I was going out with someone that I think (on hindsight) probably had some kind of personality disorder (he gaslighted me to the point where most of my friends, and eventually I thought I was going mad).

I was young and after the above relationship, damaged. Although J was probably perfect husband material, I was looking for thrills and excitement. I wanted to re-experience the wonderful feeling I'd had at the beginning of the very damaging relationship above.

When we'd known each other quite a while, J took me for a day out and asked me out. I turned him down.

I went through one more abusive relationship before settling down with a man who hasn't really made me happy. J got together with a girl when I got together with man no.2.

When I was engaged, I was doubtful enough about my choice to go and check whether J was still with the girlfriend he got together with after I turned him down. He was, so I kept well away. Another friend told me, however, that J told him that on some level, he thought he'd always love me. Anything else would always be second best.

He's still with her. They look very happy. They have two children and though he doesn't have a strong online presence, his children feature heavily. My children don't have a great relationship with their father. He's just not a very loving man.

I just wish I could go back to that day, all those years ago and change my answer.

Wow, great thread - some of these posts are like mini-novels! Mine was a gorgeous Aussie who I went out with when I was in my late 20s and living in London. It was like worlds colliding, but in a good way IYSWIM. I've never, ever known such a spark with anybody else. He was just unreal. It only lasted a couple of months, and then the rug was pulled from under me. Not long before we started seeing each other, he'd come out of a long relationship with a girl from back home and they ended up getting back together. I was devastated at the time, and looking back I think he did still care for me (in fact he did call me a couple of times after we split up to say just that,, but I had managed to grow him and didn't want to be drawn back in to the situation by then). Sigh. Things just aren't black and white are they, and looking back I can understand why he went back to her. They're married with kids now so it was obviously the right decision for him but I do still wonder what might have been! I'm happily married too, and I love my DH dearly... but I'll never forget the Aussie heartbreaker! I think it was such a magic combination of being young and in a huge exciting city, with so many possibilities in front of me. Even now I get a shiver thinking about him - 15 years later!!

Grow?! Get over, I mean.

Wow Clarence sounds 'hot' and you weren't even in Oz!

Mine was a friend who I'd had a 2 year romance with. It was amazing, passionate and he was also my best friend. I'm still in touch with him on a "friends-only" basis as he has a partner and children, and so do I.

I always wonder "What if?".

Yep, someone I used to work with. I remember the first time I met him at work just thinking wow, who is he?? We always flirted like crazy but he was wary of getting involved with a colleague. After I'd been with my now fiancé a couple of months he asked me out for a drink, which basically ended up being a date (not my finest hour but I couldn't resist scratching that itch). The next summer at a festival he was all over me again, I asked him what he was up to as he knew I liked him, and he said he liked me too but he'd just started seeing someone. Less than two years later they were engaged, married 6 months after that, and now she's pregnant. I know on paper my DP is a much better fit for me, we have similar backgrounds and values, he's seen me through some very tough times and I love him deeply and am excited about our future together, but I will always wonder what life would have been like with the first chap, and what it was that made him not choose me. Seeing their lovely photos of their perfect wedding and honeymoon while DP and I struggle to pay for ours, twists my stomach every time.

DH and I are very happy together and earn really decent money, but just occasionally I wonder about the guy who adored me and was rich enough to buy a Masseratti on his Switch card (as it was back then)...

I haven't got a one who got away!

But if I'm honest I always thought it would end up being my current boyfriend.
If I'd not gotten pregnant, I'd have gone away for uni last September and I think we both knew that would probably end us. Not because we didn't love each other, but we would have just been heading in different directions.

We have such an amazing connection and I hones can't imagine anyone else getting me like he does. But he was always honest and never saw himself with a family, where as I did. So from the start I always saw him as my first love but not likely my last!

Then I got pregnant and I made the decision to keep the baby and was fully prepared to do so alone.
A fair few teething problems, but long story short......he bought a house and we now live together with dd, I'll be going to a local uni this September.

I obviously can't tell the future and am not a beilever in happy ever after or anything like that.....but we do both think just maybe we've ended up with the one who would have got away!

I have two.

One was a guy I was besotted with at 17. Nothing came of it and he went off to uni. Saw him in the pub at 22 and he asked me back to his and I said no! Why did I say no! I should have gone home with him and fucked his brains out!

No 2 was the love of my life, but after many off/on years it just didn't work for us. He is married to a girl who looks just like me now.

Add them on Facebook, it will cure you iof this ridiculous obsession with love (moulin rouge quote, not including the FB part obvs)

He would never have been right for me long term but:

Met him at 25 (he was a year older) we had a short very intense relationship and then he was posted (Army Yugoslav war) He lost my address but tracked me down and wrote often and I still have his letters, once he was back in Germany we wrote for a while and we spoke on the phone for a year or so but then it stopped. He was the most amazing looking man I ever met and we hit it off instantly - but he was never wanting the things I want and I suspect I will never see him again even though I know where he is - it's 20 odd years now and he's just a happy memory - I am more than happy with DH.