Yes I'm a guy and I'm having an affair with a work colleague. It's purely a sex thing which is supposed to happen only occasionally. However, it's happening more lately in more risky situations which is instigated by her. My problem is she's so up and down. She'll say we need to end it or cool it and then the next day we'll be having sex somewhere risky, and then its back to saying we need to stop. She feels guilty and I understand that, we are guarded with each other but it's obvious we have some feelings for each other, but we're not looking to leave partners. But what I don't understand is the up and down of it all and so I'm seeking a woman's perspective on this