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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He has put my family in danger - I can't believe it

54 replies

user1490044978 · 23/04/2017 14:04

Long story short, I have been in a relationship with this man for 18 months and throughout the majority of that time was being harassed via email by his 'ex', the mother of his children. He has sworn on many occasion that there is no truth to anything she said and that she was just a little crazy.... turns out he is a master liar and has actually been with her all along! We broke up upon this discovery but her harassment of me has continued... she sends messages calling me a slag and whore and says that he is telling her that I was a prostitute who has been blackmailing him. Usually I stay silent but finally I had enough and decided to tell her the truth and provide evidence to prove that what he was saying was entirely untrue. Initially she thanked me and I hoped it would be the last I heard from her... sadly not, the man in question has given her my home address and she emailed me again making threats of violence against myself AND my children!!!!!!!!!!

I am disgusted that he could do that to my children and make us unsafe in our own home...

This was the first man I let in after my marriage ended... what a fool I was to trust him!

WWYD?????

OP posts:
Joanna0685 · 23/04/2017 15:24

Definitely go to the police with a print out of the emails. Do you know her full name, she may have a British passport that might help them trace her. Hopefully going to the police will make you feel a bit safer in such a scary situation X

allegretto · 23/04/2017 15:30

Do you not live in Europe too? I would contact the police asap.

saturdaysaturday · 23/04/2017 15:34

She means continental Europe... I assume.

She's a horrible racist person, get the police on her!

allegretto · 23/04/2017 15:35

Where does she live?

Original poster
user1490044978 · 23/04/2017 15:36

She lives in France and I'm in the U.K.

OP posts:
notanurse2017 · 23/04/2017 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anastasia38494032010 · 23/04/2017 15:38

Pffff.... this is serious. I have no real advice but I'd be shit scared. Please contact the police & take it from there, see what they say/can do... best of luck! Keep us posted!

allegretto · 23/04/2017 15:39

I don't know about France but Italy has a division of the police that deal with threats like this. Maybe a mumsnetter in France might know?

Joanna0685 · 23/04/2017 15:42

Please do ring the police, they may even come to your house if you don't have anyone to watch the kids. They did for me and it was only over stolen numberplates.

ineedmoreLemonPledge · 23/04/2017 15:42

Where is the cheating git in all this OP?

Sitting back and watching the bunfight?

lifesjoys · 23/04/2017 15:48

Change your email address.
Ring police and have a TAU put on your house.
Make a statement with the police.
Do you have her details so the police can track her??

ineedmoreLemonPledge · 23/04/2017 15:50

They should be able to track her IP address?

Original poster
user1490044978 · 23/04/2017 15:57

The person who has caused all of this has remained completely silent! I just don't understand how he could have put my kids under a direct threat after their acceptance and liking of him over the past year and a half and also the fact he knows full well that I'm totally innocent in all of this! Grrrrr!

OP posts:
HorridHenryrule · 23/04/2017 15:57

How did you to meet?

usernumbernine · 23/04/2017 16:00

Don't put any more emails on here.

Go to the police.

Have you rung them yet?

HorridHenryrule · 23/04/2017 16:01

He's with a nutcracker and she's probable slaughtering him as well. He sounds like a man and she sounds like a woman. Any self respecting female would have LTB what honour is she on about if she has no respect for herself or her children.

SolidGoldBrass · 23/04/2017 16:01

I agree that it's quite likely to be him - or if he is not sending the emails, he is winding her up to make sure she keeps sending them. As others have said, inform the police but try not to worry too much. It's pretty unlikely that she (or he) will actually turn up on the doorstep with malicious intent. Most people who rant via email to that extent are cowards as well as arseholes.

GlitteryFluff · 23/04/2017 16:05

Definitely police.
I'd also ramp up security if you can afford to, alarm or cctv etc.
She may know people in the uk?

usernumbernine · 23/04/2017 16:09

YOu need to get HQ to remove that email from here

nancy75 · 23/04/2017 16:09

I take it you have dumped the arse that has caused all these problems and are having nothing to do with him?

reuset · 23/04/2017 16:11

Bloody hell! Police for sure.

Hope you're ok, OP

Original poster
user1490044978 · 23/04/2017 16:16

Of course I dumped him as soon as I discovered his lies.... he is a disgrace and I want nothing to do with either of them.

It's very disconcerting in any case and not nice to feel the sanctuary of your home is under threat.

Have I made a mistake or compromised my complaint by posting the message? I'm fairly new on here

OP posts:
reuset · 23/04/2017 16:19

Just report that post, OP. HQ will remove it. Only for your privacy.

Imaginesthat · 23/04/2017 17:09

I have a friend who became obsessed with the other woman and harassed her like this the police eventually spoke to her and it stopped.

MusicIsMedicine · 23/04/2017 23:39

Just fuck with her head back and inform her that isn't your address and the police are now tracking her emails and that will be your final communication. Then go totally silent and get a new email address.

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