My kids' father, who I kicked out 2 weeks ago, is a liar.

[colditz]

It the minute, he claims to miss me, to want to be with me, but I have found our that last week he texted a mate asking him "If you see colditz and she asks where I was, tell her I was at yours"

he claims he "Doesn't remember" and also that he went to a different friend's house and "You would have had a paddy"

i don't give a shit where he goes at the minute.

WHY FFS WHY is he still telling me lies? I have got to the point of throwing him out, and STILL he is trying to deceive me!

I don't know what to do, I'm so fucking miserable that he is making no effort

colditz, fwiw, i think you should start to live your life as though you werent going to take him back.

He's got to do at least as much, if not more, as the next man to convince you he is worth taking on. After all - the next man hasnt let you down already, has he?

Then he wouldnt be able to disappoint you as much anymore, because you just arent expecting anything from him.

Message withdrawn

VVVQV, fab advice

Colditz, hope you are OK. You know where I am - if I'm not on MSN, then shout me on here or via email if you need to rant/let off steam etc.

Fio

He is 33, nearly 34, 7 years older than me!

Update, anyone?

had 2 men from the TV licencing place. I am being investagated - apparently there hasn't been a licence in operation here since October.

Ex had arranged DD with them, and then when he had the licence he had never paid it again, so they cancelled it - but of course, he still had the piece of paper.

Oh, and the Sky has been cut off, because he hasn't ever paid the bill. Not that I care, but it would have been good to have time to warn ds1 who was watching his favourite program.

This is a fucking nightmare, i rang him and screamed at him - how constructive of me

Oh colditz What a fecking twat.

I am still utterly confused as to how to get everything into my name. I don't want to change the sky because it's on contract, and he will still have to pay for it even if I have sky myself and am paying for it - but I don't want the package he set up, it's too expensive.

Just before he left, he swapped the electric and gas from southern elctric to british Gas. I don't know how to put it back.

Message withdrawn

Oh Colditz. for you.

Have you tried ringing Sky, gas people etc, ask them if there is anything you can do to have these in your own name.

I doubt you cAan shut the account set up in his name Can you get him to ring them, say hes had a family breakdown, no longer at that address, forward the bill to...whereeve he is now?

You can if he no longer lives there. He's moved. You have moved in.

Good idea VVV..

yup - this happens all the time when renting. one tenant moves out, the other moves in. you phone up, say you're responsible for the bills, he is no longer living at this address and they should set you up with new accounts. it's a lot easier than it might seem now.

I rang the gas and electric company - southern electric , and they were lovely. they basically said "Don't Worry. I Will Sort It Out. Nothing Bad Will Happen. If British Gas Pester You, Tell Them They Must Go Through Us"

Which was nice.

Sky was a different matter, I got a 14 year old cretin called Mand-eh to deal with, she seemed to have a script reading "You'll have to speak to de manegeh"

PUT ME THROUGH TO THE FUCKING MANAGER THEN YOU CRETIN

They gave me an address to write to

Non of this solves the fact that his behavior has possibly landed me in court though.

everyone says, when I say he has left me with 6 months of unpaid bills "How could you not know?"

Very easily, actually, if someone is prepared to lie until their FUCKING tongue turns blue.

Interestintgfly though, my 3 year old came to inform the TV licence men "You hafta come and put Payhouse Disigney(sic) back on the telly, I was watching it!" As they turned up 10 minutes after it had been cut off.

Were the TV licence people being nice? Did they believe you?
Once I had the money for the licence in an elastic band to go get it the next day and OMG...the bloke knocked on the door and I said OMG, your not going to belive me, but this here is for the tv licence and i was going to get it tommorow...I didnt get fined.
Breathe in. You can pay on a scheme called cash easy entry if your on a low income. You pay off your licence and a year in advance or something at paypoint.
Hope your Ok.

They can believe or not, to be honest, my care engine is exhausted. I've set up a direct debit but they weren't happy when I refused to give them my NI number - I told them I didn't see why they needed it, and as they were unable to TELL me why they needed it, I wouldn't give it.